The Student Room Group

Final year at uni. Lost all my friends?

So it seems my so-called friends have cut me out this year and they basically decided that I'm a "bitch" because apparently I spread rumors against a few of my friends. I mean is it really a rumour if it's true?


Anyway so they shunned me and now I'm left on my own. I've been back at uni for 2 weeks and I've been failing making new friends.

My course is longer than most courses so most of my friends from the other courses have already graduated. And the people on my course basically want nothing to do with me until I apologise.


help?

Anyone been in this situation?

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Original post by Pattie Labelle
So it seems my so-called friends have cut me out this year and they basically decided that I'm a "bitch" because apparently I spread rumors against a few of my friends. I mean is it really a rumour if it's true?


Anyway so they shunned me and now I'm left on my own. I've been back at uni for 2 weeks and I've been failing making new friends.

My course is longer than most courses so most of my friends from the other courses have already graduated. And the people on my course basically want nothing to do with me until I apologise.


help?

Anyone been in this situation?


What was the 'rumour'? Is an apology not warranted?
Reply 2
Original post by Pattie Labelle
So it seems my so-called friends have cut me out this year and they basically decided that I'm a "bitch" because apparently I spread rumors against a few of my friends. I mean is it really a rumour if it's true?


Anyway so they shunned me and now I'm left on my own. I've been back at uni for 2 weeks and I've been failing making new friends.

My course is longer than most courses so most of my friends from the other courses have already graduated. And the people on my course basically want nothing to do with me until I apologise.


help?

Anyone been in this situation?


Just because you believe something for someone, especially when you call them friends, doesn't mean you can go around saying nasty things about them.

Apologising is the least you could do in this case, let alone when they're willing (from what you're saying) to forgive you.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by hellodave5
What was the 'rumour'? Is an apology not warranted?



That this girl had an abortion back in the 2nd year and that some of the girls went with her to the clinic and basically the girl's bf of 4 years broke up with her and he also told he parents. I didn't say it maliciously. I just mentioned it to someone, a guy (probably a friend of the girl's bf), I was probably drunk I don't even remember the conversation. It basically came back full circle to me and I was confronted. They also sent me a collective message on FB telling me that I'm always being a bitch and requiring special treatment from the rest of them.


I did apologise but however they told me that it was too late because I denied having said the rumour in the first place.
Tbh it was none of your business to go around telling other people... that's really private information about someone you're supposed to be friends with. Don't think they should've sent you a group message telling you you're always "being a bitch", but then again they may have worded it perfectly politely and you're just giving a biased view.

If you value them as friends, take their comments on board and try and change your behaviour slightly. If they aren't worth the trouble, move on and find some other friends.
Original post by *Stefan*
Just because you believe something for someone, especially when you call them friends, it doesn't mean you can go around saying nasty things about them.

Apologising is the least you could do in this case, let alone when they're willing (from what you're saying) to forgive you.




I did apologise they don't want to accept it.


I was even being the bigger person but they are having none of it.



I just feel lost now in lectures, during lunch etc..
I dont really think you can blame her, at the end of the day if your completely off your head with drink your unlikely to remember what you shouldnt say and what you should. yes its not the nicest thing to tell someone and its unfortunate that it came back to bite you, maybe find some different people to be friendly with by joining societies or something?
Original post by perflous
Tbh it was none of your business to go around telling other people... that's really private information about someone you're supposed to be friends with. Don't think they should've sent you a group message telling you you're always "being a bitch", but then again they may have worded it perfectly politely and you're just giving a biased view.

If you value them as friends, take their comments on board and try and change your behaviour slightly. If they aren't worth the trouble, move on and find some other friends.



No trust me they called me a bitch several times in the facebook message. My biggest gripe is that they are making stuff up saying that I always make sly digs and play with their self-esteem yet no one has ever mentioned it to me before. Looks like they're using this as an excuse to cut me out completely. Which is ridiculous since I made the group. I was one of the originals who founded the group. Like really? I felt betrayed tbh.



I value them as friends yes but only because I'm alone and the rest of the girls on the course are not really my type of friends.


Only my guy friends are left now but it's not the same hanging out with the guys.
Reply 8
Original post by Pattie Labelle
So it seems my so-called friends have cut me out this year and they basically decided that I'm a "bitch" because apparently I spread rumors against a few of my friends. I mean is it really a rumour if it's true?


1) ...Seriously?

2) I thought you were a muslim? Isn't getting drunk haram :lol:
Original post by Pattie Labelle
So it seems my so-called friends have cut me out this year and they basically decided that I'm a "bitch" because apparently I spread rumors against a few of my friends. I mean is it really a rumour if it's true?


Anyway so they shunned me and now I'm left on my own. I've been back at uni for 2 weeks and I've been failing making new friends.

My course is longer than most courses so most of my friends from the other courses have already graduated. And the people on my course basically want nothing to do with me until I apologise.


help?

Anyone been in this situation?


My mum is you at 49. You will be my mum (49, no mates, no man, hates her kids) if you don't stop that right now. Stop outing your mates, truth or not. :colonhash: And apologise if it's necessary. One thing you have to learn about people is give em a lil slack to be them because they will normally return that to you subconsciously. If you refuse to let things go people will ultimately treat you the same way because to them you are undeserving.
Original post by Pattie Labelle
No trust me they called me a bitch several times in the facebook message. My biggest gripe is that they are making stuff up saying that I always make sly digs and play with their self-esteem yet no one has ever mentioned it to me before. Looks like they're using this as an excuse to cut me out completely. Which is ridiculous since I made the group. I was one of the originals who founded the group. Like really? I felt betrayed tbh.



I value them as friends yes but only because I'm alone and the rest of the girls on the course are not really my type of friends.


Only my guy friends are left now but it's not the same hanging out with the guys.


Are you ****ing Cheryl Cole or summat? lmao

&I love being with only guys because they are so laid back, just do the :talkhand: if they get frisky. One of my best mates who's a guy just...grabbed my arse mid-convo. So I beat the hell out of him and he's like ":eek: what the ****!?" But he never did it again :smug: & he forgave me because guys are cool like that.
Original post by Pattie Labelle
So it seems my so-called friends have cut me out this year and they basically decided that I'm a "bitch" because apparently I spread rumors against a few of my friends. I mean is it really a rumour if it's true?
You sound like a great friend. I have no idea why they don't like you.


Anyway so they shunned me and now I'm left on my own. I've been back at uni for 2 weeks and I've been failing making new friends.

Ouch. Have they been spreading rumours about you being a bitch? How mean of them. Oh wait, it's not a rumour if it's true.

My course is longer than most courses so most of my friends from the other courses have already graduated. And the people on my course basically want nothing to do with me until I apologise.

I tell you what, I'm really surprised that people aren't falling over to be your friend. I mean, it's not like you'd ever spread rumours about them or anything.

help?

Anyone been in this situation?


xx
Original post by Pattie Labelle
Which is ridiculous since I made the group. I was one of the originals who founded the group. Like really? I felt betrayed tbh..


Just because you were part of the group doesn't mean people are forced to hang around with you, free will is a thing. What you did was pretty bad, most people don't want abortions to be known about, just spend some time away from them until things cool off, maybe join a new society or something where people don't care about this situation.
Original post by justanotherposter
Just because you were part of the group doesn't mean people are forced to hang around with you, free will is a thing. What you did was pretty bad, most people don't want abortions to be known about, just spend some time away from them until things cool off, maybe join a new society or something where people don't care about this situation.



Great advice thank you.


I think I'll stop going out with the guys too.



Original post by Another
1) ...Seriously?

2) I thought you were a muslim? Isn't getting drunk haram :lol:



?

2) nope



Original post by Madd Taurusette
Are you ****ing Cheryl Cole or summat? lmao

&I love being with only guys because they are so laid back, just do the :talkhand: if they get frisky. One of my best mates who's a guy just...grabbed my arse mid-convo. So I beat the hell out of him and he's like ":eek: what the ****!?" But he never did it again :smug: & he forgave me because guys are cool like that.



yeah the guys are definitely a less drama than the girls but I still miss them :frown:
Original post by Pattie Labelle
Great advice thank you.


I think I'll stop going out with the guys too.






?

2) nope






yeah the guys are definitely a less drama than the girls but I still miss them :frown:


Well why did you talk crap about them :s-smilie:
Original post by Madd Taurusette
Well why did you talk crap about them :s-smilie:



The being bitchy criticism is something that has never come up before. I was not aware that I have always been chipping at their confidence.

As for the rumour I did not do it on purpose. I apologised and they didn't want to give accept it.

I'm basically being singled out because what I did it inexcusable according to them. They are a bunch of air heads.
Original post by Pattie Labelle
The being bitchy criticism is something that has never come up before. I was not aware that I have always been chipping at their confidence.

As for the rumour I did not do it on purpose. I apologised and they didn't want to give accept it.

I'm basically being singled out because what I did it inexcusable according to them. They are a bunch of air heads.


:indiff:...is this what they meant? :teehee:
Original post by Madd Taurusette
:indiff:...is this what they meant? :teehee:



right you're getting on my nerves. I'm off to sleep.


:rolleyes:
Original post by Pattie Labelle
right you're getting on my nerves. I'm off to sleep.


:rolleyes:


:wavey: you're the one who's mates drop like flies.
Reply 19
What's with your picture lool?

You ain't foolin' anyone there.

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