Abused in relationship but....

Annon or delete, please.

Basically I was with a girl who I truly love and she used to abuse me. It started verbally, escalated into her physically attacking me on numerous occasions. Mostly when she was drunk.

I came home one night drunk and we got into a big argument where she accused me of cheating on her and started attacking me. I pushed her off and accidentally thumbed her eye, causing a bruise, she kicked the **** out of me, causing bruises all over my body and threw me head first into a coffee table. I called the police, they showed up, arrested me and now I'M being charged with domestic assault because she had a bruise on her eye, and I was drunk. She then told the police I was strangling her, and punching her, even though she had no marks on her at all and I had no marks on my knuckles. I've never raised my hands to her at all. She has subsequently began telling anyone who'll listen all about how I 'tried to kill her'. Urg.

So we've since broke up and she's completely cut off all contact. The things is, I'm really struggling to live my life. I feel empty and just so depressed. From going to speaking/seeing each other everyday to completely no contact at all is literally killing me. I can't stop thinking about her and I miss her constantly.

She is dating some guy now, and when I realised it, it completely destroyed me. It's been a month a half and I honestly thought that we'd be talking trying to work through our problems.

I get that she abused me, but honestly there were times in our relationship where she'd say and do these things specifically to upset or annoy me and I did shout at her and say nasty things I probably deserved the abuse I got.

I've lost a stone cause I can't eat. I've barely left the house. I just feel so low and miss her so much. It's like I lost a part of me, and she never wants to speak to me again

Does anyone have any solutions? Been in this situation before?

It will get better. You need to focus on the fact that she literally could have ruined your life if she pressed wrong charges on you. You're focusing on what she meant to you, when you need to focus on what you meant to her.

Nobody deserves to be domestically abused.

I know you love her but she crossed the line and did things that make a healthy reconciliation inconceivable. She has proven herself to be (and this is not an exhaustive list): a liar, malicious, manipulative and violent. The fact alone that she used her position to get the 'police' to turn on you should fill anyone reading this with utter horror and disgust.

It is such a horrible position to be in. A first step to resolution would be to stop blaming yourself for this and not give her any unwarranted attention. Go out with friends, partake in some hobbies, consider yourself free and do all you can to forget that she exists. She will get her comeuppance and believe me, the first and best way of doing it is by giving her no more attention than you would a stranger. She's a nobody, a mere digit in the population of this country. If you think it will benefit, it might be a good idea to look for professional counselling.

Good luck and stay strong.