Unable to 'get up' in bed

I nearly had my first time yesterday- but when it came to the deed, I couldn't get hard enough to properly do it.
Now I don't think there's anything wrong with me- I can get hard in other circumstances, but just couldn't then. Despite this I don't get hard as often as I used to, which worries me.
Anyway, it was really embarrasing and is playing on my mind a lot. Save buying viagra is there any way to improve the chances or, pray, guarantee one? Thankfully she's seeing me again but I don't think I could live it down if that happened again.
Any help is really appreciated.

Reply 1

BefuddledPenguin

15

This is common for your first time, certainly don't go down the viagra route yet. It was probably just nerves, it'll happen next time.

Reply 2

unprinted

19

Stop worrying - faced with someone willing to have sex with you, this is common.

Give it time, and if you don't have an erection, do stuff that doesn't need one. If you can sleep together, you will often find you have an erection on waking.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Ah thanks guys, was scared the replies would be 'get extensive surgery' or 'you're screwed', good to know that is not so!
CHeers :smile:

Reply 4

Zarek

21

It common when you're a bit nervous. Just relax have a bit more foreplay next time and all will be well.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

We've tried 3 times now and still nothing- we can do other things up until it, but when it gets to getting the johnny on and getting to the act I just can't sustain anything. Bit worried. Oh dear.

Reply 6

littlevictoriaa

2

My boyfriend had a similar issue. He'd be hard before the deed and then getting to it and having to put the condom on felt a bit awkward so it went down. Make sure you do a lot of foreplay and get her to put the condom on or kind of keep yourself occupied whilst you put it on. Don't think about it happening because if you are conscious of it, it only makes it worse. The best thing you can do is just feel comfortable and as confident as you can. Don't worry before it's even happened.

Foreplay + Don't think about it = :smile:

Reply 7

unprinted

19

Original post by Anonymous

We've tried 3 times now and still nothing- we can do other things up until it, but when it gets to getting the johnny on and getting to the act I just can't sustain anything. Bit worried. Oh dear.

If this is a good relationship to explore sexual stuff in - and it sounds like it could be - then it doesn't matter. Give yourselves a few times when it's agreed that you're not going to attempt intercourse and get used to losing and regaining an erection.

Have you tried putting a condom on when masturbating alone? Condoms can differ in how easy they are to put on and the longer it takes and the less practised you are, the easier it is for your erection to go.

If you have another form of contraception sorted, is not using condoms an option?

Reply 8

DLau88

2

Original post by Anonymous

I nearly had my first time yesterday- but when it came to the deed, I couldn't get hard enough to properly do it.
Now I don't think there's anything wrong with me- I can get hard in other circumstances, but just couldn't then. Despite this I don't get hard as often as I used to, which worries me.
Anyway, it was really embarrasing and is playing on my mind a lot. Save buying viagra is there any way to improve the chances or, pray, guarantee one? Thankfully she's seeing me again but I don't think I could live it down if that happened again.
Any help is really appreciated.

stop watching porn

Reply 9

gt459

7

Original post by Anonymous

We've tried 3 times now and still nothing- we can do other things up until it, but when it gets to getting the johnny on and getting to the act I just can't sustain anything. Bit worried. Oh dear.

Could actually be the condom itself that is causing the issues.

Too tight, too short etc can cause issues.

Try:

www.theyfit.co.uk

If this sounds like the case.