Does asking for space mean it's ovet

Hi we are on a break because my boyfriend felt smothered .... Is this just a way of letting me go gently or does it mean there's hope ? How long do I wait around for ? He says there is no one else and would be devastated if I met someone ?

Reply 1

xoxAngel_Kxox

I can't speak for your boyfriend, but sometimes I need my own space too. That doesn't mean I want to break up with my boyfriend. Whenever he comes into the room, he'll automatically come and sit as close to me as possible, but sometimes I want to sit and watch TV and stretch out on the couch on my own, or I'll go and read a book in the other room. Sometimes when I'm at home (I split my time between home and boyfriend's place) I don't see him for a few days, and I enjoy the space.

I think it's important in any relationship to have space, whether that's not seeing each other at all for a few days or, if you live together, having outside interests that allow you both to enjoy your own thing as well as each other.

As I say, I can't speak for your boyfriend, but I'm not the kind of person who has to be attached to another person (it's a nightmare actually) 24 hours a day, and perhaps your boyfriend is the same.

Reply 2

RachelFiveee

Not neccessarily, look at it as positive as he is being honest rather than just ending it or not trying. Sometimes you just need a breather, and perhaps he is hoping that after the break the relationship will be slightly different. If he is feeling smothered then have a chat about what you can both do to help resolve it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by RachelFiveee

Thanks that's made me feel a whole lot better ... I keep being told to give up

Reply 4

Afghan Warrior

No. Having some space means clearing your head. To get away from all the drama for that short while. Then, with having a clear head after reflecting on what's happened the relationship can continue.

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Reply 5

Zarek

To be honest I don't think it is a good sign. How long have you been together and whats the relationship been like of late?

Reply 6

Stinkum

yes, it means its definitely over. there's no hope. u just have to move on. life goes on.

Reply 7

Maid Marian

Original post by Foo.mp3

You simply do not take a break if you love someone. If you feel smothered then you establish a new regime but not one that includes never seeing your girl and ****ing other people! :rolleyes:

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Not sure where this comes into it? There's no indication that he's doing that...
Sounds like he just needed to clear his head for a bit, OP. Give him the time he needs. Surely he would have just ended it if he didn't like you? But then again, idk, boys can be very confusing. :nothing:

Reply 8

Maid Marian

Original post by Foo.mp3

I'm sorry, do you know something I don't regarding how this lad defines 'a break'? :mute:

Even if that is so, frankly would you really want to be in a relationship with someone who felt the need to push you away every time he needed to 'clear his head'? That's retarded

You really don't understand the male psyche do you? e.g. 'a break' can be a way to soften the blow of letting a girl go (phasing her out), or indeed an opportunity to manslag about for a bit, see if he can do better, then come crawling back if not :rolleyes:

Which is why it's best to: A) Find out; B) Take the advice of wise old goats like uncle Foobert; C) Save commenting too boldly when you don't/until you do understand them very well :tongue:

And do you know something *I* don't? Neither of us know the guy or his intentions so we can't assume about what he'll do in his 'break'.

Who says this would happen every time? Everyone needs a moment to be alone sometimes and think about what they want.

Or, maybe, he really does just need to have a think? :K:

Forgive me for trying to see the best in people instead of assuming the worst.

I can comment with what I like, I don't claim to be omniscient. S'just my perspective.

Reply 9

joker12345

It's certainly a bad sign. He may decide in that time he's happier without you, and I speak from experience.
My one piece of advice is DON'T be clingy. Don't contact him, tell him you miss him etc. Don't feel like you're sitting around waiting for him. Don't get freaked out by the above comments and ask him to define the terms of the break.
Lead your own life. Meet friends, gave a good time - just generally let him see that you're happy and not moping about him. If he cares about you he'll panic that he's lost you, miss you and come back.