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I don't understand why he is acting this way

Okay so basically myself (female) and one of my flatmates have been getting a little close lately it all started when I was sad one night and I asked for a hug and we ended up cuddling all night and watching movies since then it's progressed, we kiss a lot and cuddle he's quite affectionate and he has several times does foreplay on me, but what I don't understand is whenever I try to reciprocate or try to have sex with him he pulls away, why? I don't understand, but he keeps coming back for cuddled and kisses and he keeps playing with me but doesn't seem to want anything back. This make no sense to me at all. Can anyone possible make any sense of this?

I wanted to ask him last time but the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. I'm staring to think there is something wrong with me.
Just ask him why he seems reluctant to go all the way. If you are confident enough to be doing foreplay with him, surely you're confident enough to ask him a simple question. There's no conundrum here.
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Abstraction
Just ask him why he seems reluctant to go all the way. If you are confident enough to be doing foreplay with him, surely you're confident enough to ask him a simple question. There's no conundrum here.


I'm really not.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm really not.


Well then yes, there is something wrong with you. What can we say? The guy can have any one of a million reasons why he wishes to not have sex, ultimately the answer will have to come from his mouth. Next time you initiate and he doesn't respond, ask a simple "why not?". Is that difficult?
Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Abstraction
Well then yes, there is something wrong with you. What can we say? The guy can have any one of a million reasons why he wishes to not have sex, ultimately the answer will have to come from his mouth. Next time you initiate and he doesn't respond, ask a simple "why not?". Is that difficult?


For me, yes it is difficult I try to ask and the words literally did not escape my mouth which I have already stated.
I know I'm not going to get the exact answer out of anybody but I thought some people may be able to offer some ideas.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so basically myself (female) and one of my flatmates have been getting a little close lately it all started when I was sad one night and I asked for a hug and we ended up cuddling all night and watching movies since then it's progressed, we kiss a lot and cuddle he's quite affectionate and he has several times does foreplay on me, but what I don't understand is whenever I try to reciprocate or try to have sex with him he pulls away, why? I don't understand, but he keeps coming back for cuddled and kisses and he keeps playing with me but doesn't seem to want anything back. This make no sense to me at all. Can anyone possible make any sense of this?

I wanted to ask him last time but the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. I'm staring to think there is something wrong with me.


There's nothing wrong with you, so try not to blame yourself. He's clearly attracted to you, but it may just be that he's not ready for taking it to that stage. Even though you may be and he isn't, it doesn't mean that it's your fault and he doesn't want anything back.

Perhaps you should try and talk to him about it in a calm way. Maybe he'll feel better and you will after having opened up to each other. If he shuts you down, then he's obviously uncomfortable with talking about it, which you'd have to accept.
Try not to worry too much.
Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
OP
bump
Maybe he doesn't believe in sex before marriage/
keep trying next time, make your actions explicit

maybe he's self conscious about his **** or thinks things are going too fast?
Reply 9
Avatar for JVD
JVD
18
It's likely that he's probably just nervous about it? That's the only reason I can really think of... that, or he has a tiny d*ck, which again leads to the first reason I stated.
bump.
thanks for the ideas so far.

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