Am I in love with my best friend?
Am I in love with my best friend?
Two years ago I met this guy randomly on the PS3, and ever since then we started talking and skyping near enough everyday. We live about 4 hours away from each other and have attempted to meet up but never succeeded. Even though we haven't met, I can call him my best friend, we've been through a lot together over the years and he's literally the most genuine guy I know!! Over the two years he's hinted that he liked me but I never saw the attraction, I never liked him like that, but every time we wouldn't speak I'd be thinking of him.
Recently we went a while without speaking fully, and I knew something was different.. We've now been skyping and talking as normal, and he dropped the bomb saying that he now has a girlfriend. All of a sudden I feel this wave of jealousy, and literally he's on my mind 24/7. Why is it that I feel this way now?! After those years he's hinted that he liked me, and I practically pushed him away (even thought we stayed friends).. am I in love with him? Or do I feel threatened?!
Edit: Just so I don't repeat myself a thousand times on this thread.
I am happy for both him and her, and I'm not going to tell him about my feelings because it's will just make things worse.
I've accepted him with her, the question of the thread is about my feelings, what these new feelings are, not how to get him to choose me over her!
No I don't think Im too good for him, or the "best looking" in the friendship, if anything he's too good for me. The people who I've had problems with in this thread obviously haven't been in a situation like this.
Two years ago I met this guy randomly on the PS3, and ever since then we started talking and skyping near enough everyday. We live about 4 hours away from each other and have attempted to meet up but never succeeded. Even though we haven't met, I can call him my best friend, we've been through a lot together over the years and he's literally the most genuine guy I know!! Over the two years he's hinted that he liked me but I never saw the attraction, I never liked him like that, but every time we wouldn't speak I'd be thinking of him.
Recently we went a while without speaking fully, and I knew something was different.. We've now been skyping and talking as normal, and he dropped the bomb saying that he now has a girlfriend. All of a sudden I feel this wave of jealousy, and literally he's on my mind 24/7. Why is it that I feel this way now?! After those years he's hinted that he liked me, and I practically pushed him away (even thought we stayed friends).. am I in love with him? Or do I feel threatened?!
Edit: Just so I don't repeat myself a thousand times on this thread.
I am happy for both him and her, and I'm not going to tell him about my feelings because it's will just make things worse.
I've accepted him with her, the question of the thread is about my feelings, what these new feelings are, not how to get him to choose me over her!
No I don't think Im too good for him, or the "best looking" in the friendship, if anything he's too good for me. The people who I've had problems with in this thread obviously haven't been in a situation like this.
(edited 9 years ago)
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I don't believe you can fall in love with someone by never really being with them physically (not sex, as in literally physically in the same room as them).
When I watch things like Catfish, I believe you can develop feelings, crushes, lusts over the idea of someone you know from the internet but I disagree when they speak of being in love. You like the way they talk, their personality, their looks even. But your brain gets so used to your online relationship that your real physical relationship when you meet turns out to be quite different - sometimes for the better or sometimes worse. You can't really tell until you meet them properly. It's even almost like a fresh new relationship yet very familiar at the same time, like you've jumped 10 dates.
I do speak from experience. You might just have a real big crush on him, and really like him romantically. Or you may just feel threatened that he may have to divide his time between you and his girlfriend. Your mind could want to be his "top girl" in his life, not his new girlfriend. I don't think you'll be genuinely in love with him.
Also, if you loved him, you'd be pulling out all the stops to go and meet him to have a real relationship.
When I watch things like Catfish, I believe you can develop feelings, crushes, lusts over the idea of someone you know from the internet but I disagree when they speak of being in love. You like the way they talk, their personality, their looks even. But your brain gets so used to your online relationship that your real physical relationship when you meet turns out to be quite different - sometimes for the better or sometimes worse. You can't really tell until you meet them properly. It's even almost like a fresh new relationship yet very familiar at the same time, like you've jumped 10 dates.
I do speak from experience. You might just have a real big crush on him, and really like him romantically. Or you may just feel threatened that he may have to divide his time between you and his girlfriend. Your mind could want to be his "top girl" in his life, not his new girlfriend. I don't think you'll be genuinely in love with him.
Also, if you loved him, you'd be pulling out all the stops to go and meet him to have a real relationship.
I think it's more jealousy, your his best friend and he's yours, you feel threatened because you are longer his number one. this is probably causing you false feelings for him so you can be his number one again. My advice be happy for him and be used to being number two or find a new best friend their's tons of people out their who play the playstation.
I know the feeling, I'm from Scotland and my best friend who I met on Tumblr is from Kent and we've been friends for 3 nearly 4 years and he's just told me he's met someone and oh I'm blind with jealously, we've both had relationships both had feelings for each other but decided the distance was too much. It's difficult I love him with all my heart but I'd never step in the way of him being happy because well we can't afford to see each other it would be selfish. I always let him know what I'm feeling though and he respects that and doesn't talk about other girls and I do the same 
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Original post by lou_100
I don't believe you can fall in love with someone by never really being with them physically (not sex, as in literally physically in the same room as them).
When I watch things like Catfish, I believe you can develop feelings, crushes, lusts over the idea of someone you know from the internet but I disagree when they speak of being in love. You like the way they talk, their personality, their looks even. But your brain gets so used to your online relationship that your real physical relationship when you meet turns out to be quite different - sometimes for the better or sometimes worse. You can't really tell until you meet them properly. It's even almost like a fresh new relationship yet very familiar at the same time, like you've jumped 10 dates.
I do speak from experience. You might just have a real big crush on him, and really like him romantically. Or you may just feel threatened that he may have to divide his time between you and his girlfriend. Your mind could want to be his "top girl" in his life, not his new girlfriend. I don't think you'll be genuinely in love with him.
Also, if you loved him, you'd be pulling out all the stops to go and meet him to have a real relationship.
When I watch things like Catfish, I believe you can develop feelings, crushes, lusts over the idea of someone you know from the internet but I disagree when they speak of being in love. You like the way they talk, their personality, their looks even. But your brain gets so used to your online relationship that your real physical relationship when you meet turns out to be quite different - sometimes for the better or sometimes worse. You can't really tell until you meet them properly. It's even almost like a fresh new relationship yet very familiar at the same time, like you've jumped 10 dates.
I do speak from experience. You might just have a real big crush on him, and really like him romantically. Or you may just feel threatened that he may have to divide his time between you and his girlfriend. Your mind could want to be his "top girl" in his life, not his new girlfriend. I don't think you'll be genuinely in love with him.
Also, if you loved him, you'd be pulling out all the stops to go and meet him to have a real relationship.
I agree with you totally and maybe I have over reacted saying that I "love" him, but I have developed some sort of new feelings towards him, and I know it's my mind playing with me! But even if it was love I'd find it unfair to have a relationship when we live so far away, it wouldn't be easy!
Original post by Papo1489
I think it's more jealousy, your his best friend and he's yours, you feel threatened because you are longer his number one. this is probably causing you false feelings for him so you can be his number one again. My advice be happy for him and be used to being number two or find a new best friend their's tons of people out their who play the playstation.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy for both of them and wish them the best. and I'm not let him being in a relationship stop us from being best friends.
Original post by georgia.17
I know the feeling, I'm from Scotland and my best friend who I met on Tumblr is from Kent and we've been friends for 3 nearly 4 years and he's just told me he's met someone and oh I'm blind with jealously, we've both had relationships both had feelings for each other but decided the distance was too much. It's difficult I love him with all my heart but I'd never step in the way of him being happy because well we can't afford to see each other it would be selfish. I always let him know what I'm feeling though and he respects that and doesn't talk about other girls and I do the same
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It's depressing isn't it!
and that's what I think, even if I did like him it would be unfair on both of us considering the distance between us, Skype isn't good enough when it comes to relationships, hah. I would tell him, but I honestly wouldn't know how to or how he'd react, and I just fear of these feelings fading if he broke up with her!Original post by Epitaxy
It's depressing isn't it! and that's what I think, even if I did like him it would be unfair on both of us considering the distance between us, Skype isn't good enough when it comes to relationships, hah. I would tell him, but I honestly wouldn't know how to or how he'd react, and I just fear of these feelings fading if he broke up with her!
and that's what I think, even if I did like him it would be unfair on both of us considering the distance between us, Skype isn't good enough when it comes to relationships, hah. I would tell him, but I honestly wouldn't know how to or how he'd react, and I just fear of these feelings fading if he broke up with her!It really is! The most important person in my life is hundreds of miles away but as make it work! We've tried numerous times to take it another step but it's never worked. We've fallen out so many times about it haha
if you're not sure about how you feel then don't worry as much, things usually end up making sense in the end I recently went through it again with him and just realised I was feeling lonely after a break up! Distance really is a bitch sadly! Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by georgia.17
It really is! The most important person in my life is hundreds of miles away but as make it work! We've tried numerous times to take it another step but it's never worked. We've fallen out so many times about it haha if you're not sure about how you feel then don't worry as much, things usually end up making sense in the end I recently went through it again with him and just realised I was feeling lonely after a break up! Distance really is a bitch sadly!
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if you're not sure about how you feel then don't worry as much, things usually end up making sense in the end I recently went through it again with him and just realised I was feeling lonely after a break up! Distance really is a bitch sadly! Posted from TSR Mobile
Thank you, I just hope things will make sense soon. Aw & I'm sorry for your break-up
it's hard when the person who can comfort you the most is miles away, can't even cry on his shoulder or hug it out distance really is a bitch!Original post by sophia44
I am like in the exact same position as you right now and it absolutely sucks
I honestly thought I'd be the only one
Original post by Epitaxy
X
I think you're angry because someone is respecting him and not treating him like a Plan B.
Original post by Enoxial
I think you're angry because someone is respecting him and not treating him like a Plan B.
Can't see how I'm treating him like a plan B, if I haven't been leading him on?.. :s also surely it's not disrespecting him, if I'm happy for him? and the fact that I respect that even if he did like me he's moved on, and found someone who makes him happy (which is one reason why I probably won't say anything about this). It's just the feelings, don't twist the plot.
Original post by Epitaxy
Can't see how I'm treating him like a plan B
O'really?
Over the two years he's hinted that he liked me but I never saw the attraction
Translation: You thought he wasn't good for you.
don't twist the plot.
I'm not twisting the plot if.it makes sense.
How does not liking someone,make you in other words say they're not good enough for you. That is ridiculous. That isn't what she is trying to say. Don't twist her words.
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Original post by Epitaxy
I honestly thought I'd be the only one
Nope hun! It is such a sad reality. I am so confused myself
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Original post by Enoxial
Translation: You thought he wasn't good for you.
Translation: You thought he wasn't good for you.
When I say I "didn't see the attraction" - I didn't see him in that kind of way, not sexually attracted to him. He is good for me, but there needs to be physical attraction for it to work, and I didn't see it.
Original post by sophia44
How does not liking someone,make you in other words say they're not good enough for you. That is ridiculous. That isn't what she is trying to say. Don't twist her words.
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Someone who understands me & knows where I'm coming from!
Original post by sophia44
Just sucks so baaaad.
Original post by Epitaxy
Someone who understands me & knows where I'm coming from!
Just sucks so baaaad.
Just sucks so baaaad.
Oh i went through such a hard time when people don't understand it is so frustrating!! I can't even give you advice on the matter being in the same place looking for advice myself. But what i can't stand is people thinking they know everything,when what is written on here is just the basics. Nobody gets it like the person that is going through the situation. I can't stress that enough.
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Typical Woman... want what they cant get.. When he was in front of you, you didnt want him. Now that ship has sailed and you're stuck with what ifs in your head. lol
This is the reason why many women will cry, "All the good men are taken!", In reality, one was staring you right in your goblet, but because he wasnt hot enough for your ars, you didnt want him. You'd rather the hotta down the street that added "inet" after every sentence and couldnt hold a conversation with a donkey.
Suck it up and deal with it, you're here crying because you missed out. No one else to blame but yourself
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.
P.S If he gets hurt by this new girl.. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.....AND YOU KNOW WHY!
This is the reason why many women will cry, "All the good men are taken!", In reality, one was staring you right in your goblet, but because he wasnt hot enough for your ars, you didnt want him. You'd rather the hotta down the street that added "inet" after every sentence and couldnt hold a conversation with a donkey.
Suck it up and deal with it, you're here crying because you missed out. No one else to blame but yourself
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.P.S If he gets hurt by this new girl.. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.....AND YOU KNOW WHY!
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