What is this about 'beta' and 'alpha' males? If we’re to crudely categorize men as either alpha or beta, leaving zero room for nuance, and if we define kind, nurturing behaviors that cannot be categorized as stereotypically, defensively masculine as 'beta,' then we really should all aim to have those 'beta' characteristics.
I’m talking about men who lead with emotional intelligence, openness, sensitivity and understanding. Men whose masculinity and sexuality aren’t threatened by equality with women. Men who make great fathers. Men who pick up the spatula from time to time. Men who know where the vacuum cleaner is. Men who are not repelled by talk about feelings. Men who do not need to pound their chests about every damn thing. Men who have even read a feminist text or contemplated their privilege. Men who aren’t defined by traditional expectations of their gender.
In so many ways, we expect too much of men: They are to be the unwavering provider and the protector. In so many other ways, we expect too little of them: They aren’t good with emotions, they aren’t nurturing and other such utter nonsense. When a man is both less and more than — in other words, free from — those expectations, some will call him “feminist,” others will dub him “enlightened” and plenty will derisively toss out the word “beta.” What we’re really talking about here, though, is simple: partnership.