Arrrgh im so confused! does he like me or not?!

Hey guys,

I've tried working this out on my own and asking friends but I give up! I need advice.

So I have a male friend who I've known for years and years. Last year we both broke up with long term partners and began talking. We quickly discovered that we were both suffering from depression (him more than me) at the time and we became each other's "rocks" so to speak. We quickly began talking every day and he became one of my best friends. Fast forward to a year later ... We have spoken pretty much all every day for the past year even though for 8 months of it we have lived hundreds of miles apart. I even went abroad for 4 months and we still spoke. He regularly spoke about how he wants a girlfriend and joked about us being together and told me loved me all the time and told me he found me attractive. But he also talked about his ex a lot and I believe he still loved her until a few months ago. Then this summer he came home and we met up regularly... Aaand I quickly began to develop feelings for him. I decided it was only fair that I tell him and he said he was flattered. He said he didn't know if he liked me in that way then decided he didn't and didn't want to get into a relationship as he's moving hundreds of miles away (again). Then we got drunk and kissed. Then we started kissing whenever we met up (sober this time!) and sometimes just cuddling or holding hands or whatever (no sex). He even said how we act like a couple. Now he's moved 5 hours away and he's gone weird ... We still talk every day but nowhere near as much and he gives short answers..he also says he'll call then doesn't. He said he feels lonely in his new place so I thought that was why but I can see he's been online and clearly seen my messages.

Its so odd because he keeps saying he wants me to go visit and has even planned what we can do up there when I do. Also every time I mention other guys he makes negative comments about them like he's jealous. He also told me once after Wed kissed that he's becoming too attached then quickly told me he meant sexually :/ and he told me that I am the only girl he feels comfortable and happy around.

I really don't know what to do. I like him a lot but I mostly just want my best friend back.

Help? :smile:

Reply 1

MegaLoo

ok first off, i think it is weird that he just stopped talking to you when he moved, ive been in the same boat and eventually it turned out where he stopped talkiing all together then started dating my best friend. When they broke up he tried to get back with me but was really mean. But as i was reading this and him stopping talking to you well not as much and being really weird to me it sounds like he might have found another girl.. But i could be wrong :frown:

Reply 2

FightLikeAGirl

Maybe he decided that he didn't want a LDR so is trying to move on. Maybe try meeting up and explain how you feel?

Reply 3

inachigeek21

Jheez.
Love comes and go.
He was in frustration OP, leave him time to contemplate his decisions.
He just (and you) came out of a long term relationship, what do you expect?

Reply 4

Balloon Baboon

Trust me. If he really liked you, he wouldn't of moved.

Reply 5

Maid Marian

Sounds like he was just doing it for fun and never wanted a relationship with you :sad:

Reply 6

517340

How close did you two live beforehand? Was it easy for you two to meet up and be there for eachother in person? LDRs work but only if you're prepared to put the effort in.

He may try to be moving on from his past? People do that when they move, try to start a new life, as harsh at it may sound.

I suppose it may be part of the problem then, he's grown attached to you, and realised that this couldn't be a regular thing when he moves away, so he's trying to cool it down for his sake. The jealousy is a bit of an oddball though, it's like he wants you for himself but at the same time wants space or something?? A few too many mixed messages here!

How long ago did he move?

Arrrgh im so confused! does he like me or not?!

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