Struggling so much, please help :(

Hi Everyone

I just really need some advice..

I'm a 20 year old girl with asperger's syndrome based in England, United Kingdom. I have been signing on for nearly 6 months... recently finally gotten a start date for a support worker job supporting adults with disabilities. It took them 3 months to sort out a start date.. and had been messing me around for ages.

Anyway, I took the job as aside from wanting to sign off, I want to be able to do some good. Problem is, I have been feeling so down lately, I have literally not had a full night's sleep in as long as I can remember, I am constantly on edge... I feel like crying all the time. And my thoughts keep drifting to those of a self harming variety. My mum suggested I could be depressed. But I am worried... I feel like I am barely keeping a lid on my emotions most days... I don't know whether or not to go to the doctors again about it? they were so iffy when I told them I had Asperger's, for 2 months they made me feel like I was on trial. So would I have to tell them I had depression? I can't afford to lose this job.... I am so scared....

I went to my G.P about it on Monday, told her how bad I had been feeling (had 4 recurring bouts of tonsilitis since this July) been feeling like hell, this year alone, had to drop out of college due to being unable to afford it, and the rest of the family's money is going on supporting my older brother who is currently at university. Told her I am struggling emotionally and physically, can't sleep. After getting the wrong end of the stick regarding sleep, she then eventually goes "well in adult life things are different once you leave college, with depression you just power through it like she does (she works part time and is off sick most of the time anyway).

So stressed out of my skull right now. Want to cry, I love my family, we are all on edge due to the difficulties my younger brother has *severe autistic, with very violent tendancies* There is just so much rowing and bad feeling.

I personally haven't seen my friends for months and cannot afford to do so. Even if I squirreled a bit of money away, it was cause the mother of all rows with family for and I quote "wasting the money on a pointless trip" as have no friends around here. I feel too sick to move most days, due to extreme joint pain, and cannot make another doctor's appointment till late November/december due to waiting times. I just feel like it's all gone so wrong and so hopeless. :frown:

For sleep, she's prescribing me antrypaline. Doing nothing for the rest of it.

Anyway, thanks for listening, I am probably just being stupid... I just feel horribly trapped right now.

Reply 1

Kabloomybuzz

If its going to take that long to see a doctor again, I strongly suggest you change GP surgeries. Might be a good thing since your doctor doesn't sound very understanding.

Amitriptyline is an anti depressant as well as a sleep aid, so give it a few weeks, you might find it helps a bit

Struggling so much, please help :(

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