How do you deal with bullying?
In keeping with the upcoming Anti-bullying week, I ask you: how do you deal with bullying? As we all know, 'ignore them' or 'turn the other cheek' can often be futile, and the cliche of 'they lose interest after a while' is usually wrong. Therefore I open it up to you: what did you do? Ignore them? Walk away? Laugh it off? Retaliate? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, do not feel obligated.
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Original post by Arkasia
In keeping with the upcoming Anti-bullying week, I ask you: how do you deal with bullying? As we all know, 'ignore them' or 'turn the other cheek' can often be futile, and the cliche of 'they lose interest after a while' is usually wrong. Therefore I open it up to you: what did you do? Ignore them? Walk away? Laugh it off? Retaliate? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, do not feel obligated.
Laugh it off and totally agree with them eventually they realise you don't really care.
Original post by Shadoo
Laugh it off and totally agree with them eventually they realise you don't really care.
But then it can sometimes become an 'injoke' and they mention it every time they see you because they think you find it funny.
It's only happened once or twice in my life, but usually by demonstrating how much smarter I am than them by unequivocally pwning them in front of everyone. They don't usually bother after that.
I used to try and show to them that I didn't bother me- by ignoring them, not joining in e.t.c but I didn't avoid them or hide away either I just carried on as normal, showing them that their behaviour wasn't going to make me back down or defeat me. Eventually it died out and I did speak to my mum about it, if it had got any further I would have told a teacher.
Original post by Arkasia
In keeping with the upcoming Anti-bullying week, I ask you: how do you deal with bullying? As we all know, 'ignore them' or 'turn the other cheek' can often be futile, and the cliche of 'they lose interest after a while' is usually wrong. Therefore I open it up to you: what did you do? Ignore them? Walk away? Laugh it off? Retaliate? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, do not feel obligated.
I've learnt that in some cases it helps to grow a thicker skin by pitying the bully instead of hating them. It's not ideal but there are definitely situations in life when it feels like this is the only option!
Original post by Arkasia
In keeping with the upcoming Anti-bullying week, I ask you: how do you deal with bullying? As we all know, 'ignore them' or 'turn the other cheek' can often be futile, and the cliche of 'they lose interest after a while' is usually wrong. Therefore I open it up to you: what did you do? Ignore them? Walk away? Laugh it off? Retaliate? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, do not feel obligated.
Someone once, a long time ago, tried to bully me. Infact, he did for a few weeks or so. Anyway, violence isn't something to be proud of but, the guy was pushing me around in woodwork of all places, so I just punched him once in the nose.
He didn't do it again.
The point of my story is; generally, bullies think their victims won't do anything because the bullies have a 'status' - but if you do stand up to them, they shrink and scuttle away into a corner.
I think it really depends on the specific situation. Like if someone was gay and they got bullied for it, they might be in danger of being beaten up or killed.
Being told to ignore it sucks because it doesn't really solve anything unless you have a lot of self-esteem or confidence. Sometimes it's all you can do if you're in danger. Telling people is sometimes an option too.
Saying that I think that confronting them is probably the best way to go if you don't think they're going to hurt you physically, and then mentally the pain will kind of stop if they **** off.
Being told to ignore it sucks because it doesn't really solve anything unless you have a lot of self-esteem or confidence. Sometimes it's all you can do if you're in danger. Telling people is sometimes an option too.
Saying that I think that confronting them is probably the best way to go if you don't think they're going to hurt you physically, and then mentally the pain will kind of stop if they **** off.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Queen Cersei
I've learnt that in some cases it helps to grow a thicker skin by pitying the bully instead of hating them. It's not ideal but there are definitely situations in life when it feels like this is the only option!
Hating them works for me.
I was bullied for a really long time, I think these are the top 5 things that helped me to date! 
It's so sad that bullying happens so often, every day 
1. Don't blame yourself - it is not your fault
2. Be proud of who you are - Despite what the bully (or your own mind) says there are wonderful things about you, writing down a couple of nice things about yourself is good
3. Get help - Talking to someone. This really helped me but took a LONG time to do
4. Protect yourself - Safety is important and getting to a safe place / getting out of dangerous situations is a must
5. Feel your inner strength - This is the biggest one i learnt and am still working on
Everyone has an inner strength to draw on; bullies try to make you feel that you lack this strength and that you’re less of a person because of this. It’s not true. It’s easy to think they can take everything we have as a person away from us. Believe that you are stronger than they are, because deep down you are stronger than they are and ever will be.
It's so sad that bullying happens so often, every day 1. Don't blame yourself - it is not your fault
2. Be proud of who you are - Despite what the bully (or your own mind) says there are wonderful things about you, writing down a couple of nice things about yourself is good
3. Get help - Talking to someone. This really helped me but took a LONG time to do
4. Protect yourself - Safety is important and getting to a safe place / getting out of dangerous situations is a must
5. Feel your inner strength - This is the biggest one i learnt and am still working on
Everyone has an inner strength to draw on; bullies try to make you feel that you lack this strength and that you’re less of a person because of this. It’s not true. It’s easy to think they can take everything we have as a person away from us. Believe that you are stronger than they are, because deep down you are stronger than they are and ever will be.(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Arkasia
In keeping with the upcoming Anti-bullying week, I ask you: how do you deal with bullying? As we all know, 'ignore them' or 'turn the other cheek' can often be futile, and the cliche of 'they lose interest after a while' is usually wrong. Therefore I open it up to you: what did you do? Ignore them? Walk away? Laugh it off? Retaliate? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, do not feel obligated.
I was bullied by the same girl for years in primary school and I saw her recently and she still gave me a dirty look
I think the best thing you can do is tell somebody you trust like a teacher or a parent. I never did that and I think it would have nipped it in the bud but I was so embarrassed that I was being bullied so I just kept it to myself.
I think people should know that you can trust adults and you should tell them and also do not blame yourself!
Original post by Queen Cersei
I've learnt that in some cases it helps to grow a thicker skin by pitying the bully instead of hating them. It's not ideal but there are definitely situations in life when it feels like this is the only option!
Pity does not stop the pain, and it does not stop bully.
Original post by Balloon Baboon
Someone once, a long time ago, tried to bully me. Infact, he did for a few weeks or so. Anyway, violence isn't something to be proud of but, the guy was pushing me around in woodwork of all places, so I just punched him once in the nose.
He didn't do it again.
The point of my story is; generally, bullies think their victims won't do anything because the bullies have a 'status' - but if you do stand up to them, they shrink and scuttle away into a corner.
He didn't do it again.
The point of my story is; generally, bullies think their victims won't do anything because the bullies have a 'status' - but if you do stand up to them, they shrink and scuttle away into a corner.
Do you not think that is reducing the issue? Perhaps 6/10 times, that might work, but the other 4 times would just cause the issue to escalate.
Original post by EloiseStar
I was bullied by the same girl for years in primary school and I saw her recently and she still gave me a dirty look
I think the best thing you can do is tell somebody you trust like a teacher or a parent. I never did that and I think it would have nipped it in the bud but I was so embarrassed that I was being bullied so I just kept it to myself.
I think people should know that you can trust adults and you should tell them and also do not blame yourself!
I think the best thing you can do is tell somebody you trust like a teacher or a parent. I never did that and I think it would have nipped it in the bud but I was so embarrassed that I was being bullied so I just kept it to myself.
I think people should know that you can trust adults and you should tell them and also do not blame yourself!
Very true, telling someone can help, but regardless of what adults tell you, most times it does nothing. The bully adapts and learns to only bully you when the adults aren't looking.
Original post by Arkasia
Pity does not stop the pain, and it does not stop bully.
Do you not think that is reducing the issue? Perhaps 6/10 times, that might work, but the other 4 times would just cause the issue to escalate.
Very true, telling someone can help, but regardless of what adults tell you, most times it does nothing. The bully adapts and learns to only bully you when the adults aren't looking.
Do you not think that is reducing the issue? Perhaps 6/10 times, that might work, but the other 4 times would just cause the issue to escalate.
Very true, telling someone can help, but regardless of what adults tell you, most times it does nothing. The bully adapts and learns to only bully you when the adults aren't looking.
I honestly think it's probably higher than 6/10. But that's only my opinion.
Original post by Arkasia
In keeping with the upcoming Anti-bullying week, I ask you: how do you deal with bullying? As we all know, 'ignore them' or 'turn the other cheek' can often be futile, and the cliche of 'they lose interest after a while' is usually wrong. Therefore I open it up to you: what did you do? Ignore them? Walk away? Laugh it off? Retaliate? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, do not feel obligated.
Depends.. in work I ignore it, on the street I'm more than happy to go toe to toe. I dont fear humans tbh.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I was bullied at school for a year by two girls. It all started with them calling me 'nerd' whenever I raised my hand to answer a question in class (while they would put on nail polish during class) or giving me personal comments and looking at me laughing and then whisper to themselves every lesson. It got so bad that they would send people after me who would tell me to die (that too on my birthday) or call me at home and bully me via phone. I ignored them (occasionally cried at home), but as they saw that it was not affecting me and their strategy was failing they tried to get others in class against me. There was a time where half of the class was against me/disliked me (for no reason) apart from my friends.
You would not believe that by the end of year 7 tables turned and the entire class started to hate those two girls without me ever saying anything. Next year I was elected class rep.
So, in my case ignoring the bully helped, but I believe that if somebody bullies you and if you can say something back without hurting them, say it, they will eventually shut up and know that you are not an easy target. I personally never knew what to say on time.
Just so you know, the main bully of the two girls had to switch school after year 7 due to bad grades (initially from a Grammar school in Germany, 'Gymnasium', she was transferred to the lowest level of schools 'Hauptschule', then later on to a school for mentally challenged 'Sonderschule'). The other girl transferred to another class in year 8, as she had no friends. Later on I found out (from a teacher who once noticed them bullying me) that the main girl who bullied me had some problems at home.
So, morale of the story: Ignore the bully, they often have issues with themselves and don't worry those bullies will eventually face their own KARMA.
You would not believe that by the end of year 7 tables turned and the entire class started to hate those two girls without me ever saying anything. Next year I was elected class rep.
So, in my case ignoring the bully helped, but I believe that if somebody bullies you and if you can say something back without hurting them, say it, they will eventually shut up and know that you are not an easy target. I personally never knew what to say on time.
Just so you know, the main bully of the two girls had to switch school after year 7 due to bad grades (initially from a Grammar school in Germany, 'Gymnasium', she was transferred to the lowest level of schools 'Hauptschule', then later on to a school for mentally challenged 'Sonderschule'). The other girl transferred to another class in year 8, as she had no friends. Later on I found out (from a teacher who once noticed them bullying me) that the main girl who bullied me had some problems at home.
So, morale of the story: Ignore the bully, they often have issues with themselves and don't worry those bullies will eventually face their own KARMA.
Original post by Arkasia
Very true, telling someone can help, but regardless of what adults tell you, most times it does nothing. The bully adapts and learns to only bully you when the adults aren't looking.
Very true, telling someone can help, but regardless of what adults tell you, most times it does nothing. The bully adapts and learns to only bully you when the adults aren't looking.
I think in my case it would help. I had the misfortune of sitting by this girl for 4 years but the bullying got worse in years 5/6. I think a teacher would have moved me and immidiately reduced some of the bullying. Obviously the bully probably would get to me whenever she could and talk about me behind my back but it would have stopped a large majority of it. At least in my experience anyway. There are some instances in my experience where telling wouldn't result in anything great because the bullying was subtle (mouthing hateful words etc) but I don't think it's easy to say telling won't help because it's pretty generalised. In my experience, in just this instance, telling would have really helped. I wish I had.
Original post by Balloon Baboon
I honestly think it's probably higher than 6/10. But that's only my opinion.
So do you think more than 6/10 bullies conform to the stereotype of lion on the outside, pussycat on the inside?
Original post by MrMango
Depends.. in work I ignore it, on the street I'm more than happy to go toe to toe. I dont fear humans tbh.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Really? Wouldn't street brawling be worse because of the lack of rules or regulation that you would find in other scenarios (e.g. in work, someone couldn't punch or push you too blatantly).
Original post by EloiseStar
I think in my case it would help. I had the misfortune of sitting by this girl for 4 years but the bullying got worse in years 5/6. I think a teacher would have moved me and immidiately reduced some of the bullying. Obviously the bully probably would get to me whenever she could and talk about me behind my back but it would have stopped a large majority of it. At least in my experience anyway. There are some instances in my experience where telling wouldn't result in anything great because the bullying was subtle (mouthing hateful words etc) but I don't think it's easy to say telling won't help because it's pretty generalised. In my experience, in just this instance, telling would have really helped. I wish I had.
'Pretty generalized' basically sums up how society tries to counter bullies. For some reason we think it's a natural part of growing up, so beyond "turn the other cheek" or "tell an adult", no-one actually cares or tries to help. What did you do then? If you did ignore her and the bullying continued for 4+ years, that just shows that each case of bullying is highly personal, and there is no blanket statement that someone can use to make things better.
Original post by Arkasia
So do you think more than 6/10 bullies conform to the stereotype of lion on the outside, pussycat on the inside?
I believe if you stand up to a bully you have a much greater chance of him leaving you alone than if you don't.
Original post by Balloon Baboon
I believe if you stand up to a bully you have a much greater chance of him leaving you alone than if you don't.
Very true, but 0.1% is much greater than 0.01% (to take two random numbers, I'm not saying these are the exact chances of each scenario working), if you get my meaning. Neither are guaranteed to work, and for many people they can make things worse.
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