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Isn't it funny...

...How it is almost exclusively advised you never change who you are for someone else yet are expected to make yourself look more attractive in one way or another if you are not natural relationship material?

...How someone can yearn to be in a relationship, yet hold back in some way out of fear they'll lose their freedom and independence, as if being in a relationship necessarily precludes the possibility for freedom and independence?

... How some claim one should go for who a person is rather than what they look like, implying a person's physical appearance isn't a part of who they are?

Yes, quite.

Hilarious in fact.

Seriously, though, WTF?

Reply 3

Elegy

OP

I was hoping for a discussion. I'm curious to hear other people's opinions on why there are these apparent hypocrises.

Reply 4

Zoecb

11

What matt@internet said ^

ha ya that is funny

we are all hypocrites :biggrin:

.

Reply 7

Renal

17

Oh god, kill me now!

:rolleyes:

Reply 8

Steezy20

1

making yourself look attractive is not the same as changing who you are. Its merely making who you are look fitter :p:

*edit* w00t, 800th post :biggrin:

Reply 9

Princess_Peach

Some people hold back because they have been hurt in the past and their emotional scars are too severe to warrant a second helping. Their heart is heavy and their mind is fearful.

oh I see, this was a joke. :biggrin:

Reply 10

*Ridwan*

1

People can be rich/poor - that's not their fault and they can't hepl it

BUT they should definitely be clean - today someone at school smelt of BO and Im like 'why dont they use deodarant'

Even if you are poor you should be clean, not have bad habits and just basically fresh and clean, and have a nice cologne.

Reply 11

spamking

14

rizzyh

People can be rich/poor - that's not their fault and they can't hepl it

BUT they should definitely be clean - today someone at school smelt of BO and Im like 'why dont they use deodarant'

Even if you are poor you should be clean, not have bad habits and just basically fresh and clean, and have a nice cologne.

Some people simply can't afford cologne/deodorant :p:

Reply 12

L i b

19

Spelling ---> window -----> outside.

Reply 13

dyslexic_banana

1

Elegy

...How it is almost exclusively advised you never change who you are for someone else yet are expected to make yourself look more attractive in one way or another if you are not natural relationship material?

I think such people who say this mean that people shouldn't change the way they actually act, for anyone else; they shouldn't sacrifice their values, or compromise too much on their social lives, etc etc. Changing the way we look, however, is something which will not impact as much on the way we feel, as changing the way we act. For example, say some guy thinks acting macho will get himself a woman, it would be ill-advised for him to do so, as he would be, in a sense, living a lie; it would all be an act, and any women he attracted that he wouldn't otherwise have, would be partly liking him for someone he wasn't. In the long-run, it's unlikely he'd be happy to carry on such an act. However, if the said guy were simply to go down the gym, or maybe simply adopt a better fashion sense, or even get a haircut (i.e. anything which simply made him more attractive to women), then the chances are that he wouldn't suffer any negative consequences from doing so, such as feelings of strangeness.

Elegy

...How someone can yearn to be in a relationship, yet hold back in some way out of fear they'll lose their freedom and independence, as if being in a relationship necessarily precludes the possibility for freedom and independence?

That's women, for yo......oops. I suppose it's indecisiveness and uncertainty, i.e. thinking "On the one hand it could be this, but on the other hand it could be that. I'd like this, but then I might not like that". Some may have had their freedom and independence compromised, by an obsessive, clingy partner, in the past, while others may be thinking along the lines of liking the thought of love and security, but also liking the thought of meeting, flirting with and bedding, numerous people; people may weigh up the pros and cons, finding it hard to come to a decision as to what they want.

Elegy

... How some claim one should go for who a person is rather than what they look like, implying a person's physical appearance isn't a part of who they are?

But a person's physical appearence isn't something over which they have much control; I suppose it's a moralistic take on things. The moralist in me agrees with this, and, at any rate, in my opinion, there is so much to a person's character; generally, thick people don't realise this, have few values and personality preferences, and hence don't crave any particular personality type; this said, the only things that can really attract them are physical. I, for one, still consider looks to come into the equation, but to be of secondary performance to personality. There's definitely a slight, negative correlation between intelligence of an individual, and the value s/he places on looks.

Isn't it funny...

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