The Student Room Group

You're always told you'll make friends at university but I haven't made too many.

I have made friends on my course, that's been no problem at all but I've been placed into a flat with 4 foreigners and one quiet guy who I have seen maybe 2 times in the flesh in 2 months of being here, seriously.

On my moving in date, I made an effort, I left my door open, I was waiting for people to move in and went in with such high expectations! They were utterly let down. 3 of the 4 foreigners weren't due to start for another week, 1 of them never left his room and the other had already moved in and was playing his Playstation already. So we had 3 people in our flat, no socializing, nothing.

I plumped for it and asked the one English guy if he wanted to do something on night one and he said that he didn't think anyone did anything on the first weekend and that he was staying in. Fun.

I managed to find a flat party on Facebook and made friends over Freshers but the workload has meant nights out have become more sparse and with me being in a different flat to the majority of them I don't really see them too much. Mondays and Wednesdays are Student Nights here and I have placement and uni on Tuesday and Thursday mornings so I can't go out then.

I've had to start going home at the weekend just to see friends/family and my girlfriend and the whole situation has basically made me feel quite lonely while at university and I find myself looking forward to the weekend so I can get some sort of normality back. The worst times are at around 6 or 7 o'clock when you know everyone else in halls will be in their kitchens eating dinner together and chatting and I'm in my room like a lemon because I can't actually interact with 80% of my flatmates.

It's making me question if I can do it for another 3 years. I feel almost cheated out of the experience and I feel a bit lost. I gave up a lot for this.
Reply 1
I would suggest attempting to switch flats with someone - there's likely someone having the opposite problem to you and wanting to get away from it all - I imagine if you were in a more active flat you'd feel a lot better.
My advice would be to check with your local students union as to what societies there are that you can join. Many have hundreds ranging from sports, to departmental to miscellaneous so you are bound to find something that interests you with like-minded people who you can make friends with. Please don't feel that you are on your own in this - guaranteed that if you feel this way then there are plenty others that do too!

I understand that your timetable may be packed but try to make yourself as available as you can for extra-curricular activities - post on this forum in your university pages and see if you can buddy up with someone on here - that's what I did many moons ago when I was a mature undergraduate.
I am in second year and live at home. I have one friend and that suits me just fine. I was working full time before uni so I think I treat it more like a job. You sound like the type to need more socialising. Have you joined societies? My friend is always out on ultimate frisbee tournaments amd nights out :tongue: Connect with these other people more and maybe start to chat about living arrangements for next year :h:
Swapping flats would be a good idea if it's possible. Remember that you're only in this flat for this academic year though. After Christmas, it will be time to start looking round for house-share arrangements for next year. Start putting out feelers for potential flat mates as soon as you can, and you may be in for a much more sociable time next year.
Make friends at your course and then just join them at their flats. You can still interact with others, when you don't live together.
Original post by OMGItsJackieChan
I have made friends on my course, that's been no problem at all but I've been placed into a flat with 4 foreigners and one quiet guy who I have seen maybe 2 times in the flesh in 2 months of being here, seriously.

On my moving in date, I made an effort, I left my door open, I was waiting for people to move in and went in with such high expectations! They were utterly let down. 3 of the 4 foreigners weren't due to start for another week, 1 of them never left his room and the other had already moved in and was playing his Playstation already. So we had 3 people in our flat, no socializing, nothing.

I plumped for it and asked the one English guy if he wanted to do something on night one and he said that he didn't think anyone did anything on the first weekend and that he was staying in. Fun.

I managed to find a flat party on Facebook and made friends over Freshers but the workload has meant nights out have become more sparse and with me being in a different flat to the majority of them I don't really see them too much. Mondays and Wednesdays are Student Nights here and I have placement and uni on Tuesday and Thursday mornings so I can't go out then.

I've had to start going home at the weekend just to see friends/family and my girlfriend and the whole situation has basically made me feel quite lonely while at university and I find myself looking forward to the weekend so I can get some sort of normality back. The worst times are at around 6 or 7 o'clock when you know everyone else in halls will be in their kitchens eating dinner together and chatting and I'm in my room like a lemon because I can't actually interact with 80% of my flatmates.

It's making me question if I can do it for another 3 years. I feel almost cheated out of the experience and I feel a bit lost. I gave up a lot for this.


join society's u'll find many people there go out with them stay in touch n u'll make new friends soon

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