Everyone Hates Me

Hey guys

I started Bangor Uni September 2014 and everything has slowly become worse.

When I first moved in my flatmates didn't really talk much, we never really saw each other and never really bonded, no one really knew each other.

lectures started and everyone began to bond and make friends, but as the weeks progressed I realized that no one wanted to talk to me, or if they did they would never talk to me again.

My flatmates began acting weird, odd comments to me, strange looks and cruel giggles. I never really spoke and once the awkward silences followed by glares began and I wanted to hide in my room. I have one friend in the flat and he would sit and talk with the others occasionally and relay any information back to me, he was my only connection to my flatmates, it was then that he began to notice hateful words from the others. They would occasionally bitch about me behind my back, I realized that i wasn't imagining the cruel looks, they were real. As the weeks went on the words became more and more hateful, they began spreading into their few conversations with me to my face. "Queen bitch" and "majestic ****", they called me, accusing me of writing notes complaining about flat parties that I hadn't written and despite me never having spoken to them for more than a few greetings they seemed to think they knew me. I have become the most hated girl in the flat and it is getting worse, the comments come more and more often, but I know that if i tell the warden it will just make things worse.

Its week 8 now and I still have made no friends other than the one in my flat. My flatmates either actively avoid me or purposefully say things nasty to me.

Is anyone else finding it hard to make friends here or is being bullied somewhat, I hate it and I just want people to talk to.

hey guys

i started bangor uni september 2014 and everything has slowly become worse.

When i first moved in my flatmates didn't really talk much, we never really saw each other and never really bonded, no one really knew each other.

Lectures started and everyone began to bond and make friends, but as the weeks progressed i realized that no one wanted to talk to me, or if they did they would never talk to me again.

My flatmates began acting weird, odd comments to me, strange looks and cruel giggles. I never really spoke and once the awkward silences followed by glares began and i wanted to hide in my room. I have one friend in the flat and he would sit and talk with the others occasionally and relay any information back to me, he was my only connection to my flatmates, it was then that he began to notice hateful words from the others. They would occasionally bitch about me behind my back, i realized that i wasn't imagining the cruel looks, they were real. As the weeks went on the words became more and more hateful, they began spreading into their few conversations with me to my face. "queen bitch" and "majestic ****", they called me, accusing me of writing notes complaining about flat parties that i hadn't written and despite me never having spoken to them for more than a few greetings they seemed to think they knew me. I have become the most hated girl in the flat and it is getting worse, the comments come more and more often, but i know that if i tell the warden it will just make things worse.

Its week 8 now and i still have made no friends other than the one in my flat. My flatmates either actively avoid me or purposefully say things nasty to me.

Is anyone else finding it hard to make friends here or is being bullied somewhat, i hate it and i just want people to talk to.

Hey I'm at Bangor!

Talk to your warden (message them via Facebook or e-mail perhaps) about the issues. They'll try to address it the best they can without causing tension either. Also if you want to move, contact halls office, you may be able to swap halls relatively easily.

Please talk to somebody official like your tutor. If you don't know who, your peer guide can point you in the right direction.

x

I agree with this. It could make things worse if they find out you've spoken to someone, but equally, tutors / wardens will know this, and know how to handle things sensitively. At the very least, they can give you advice, or help you move flats if it comes to that.

Do you have any idea what might have triggered it? They may well just be bullies, but there may have been some kind of misunderstanding. It's possible someone else left those notes, and blamed it on you. It's also possible that one of them has turned you into a target in order to facilitate their own bonding with the group, and that this person could be somehow removed. Or perhaps you're someone they might be jealous of (in terms of looks / weight etc)? Unfortunately, the most likely thing is that you have been identified as the weak link, and because they are so desperate to make friends with each other, none of them want to appear friendly towards you.

Can you get one of them alone, and find out what's going on? Or could your friend do this for you? There is something really weird going on here - it's not uncommon to have a hard time with flatmates, but being targeted like this, and accused as if you are the bully is NOT normal, and you don't have to put up with it.

I would get something sorted as soon as possible, even if it means moving. It will be easiest to come back to different accommodation in January - it might be hard to find space, but some people do drop out. The situation might improve by itself, but you don't want to let it drag on until exam time.

Meanwhile, join some societies (it takes time, but it does work), and try to talk to people from other flats. Don't feel like you're missing out on the 'time of your life' or anything - second and third year are much better than first, trust me. Everyone is so much more grown up. At the very least, get a great degree, and you won't have any regrets in a few years.

Hey guys

I started Bangor Uni September 2014 and everything has slowly become worse.

When I first moved in my flatmates didn't really talk much, we never really saw each other and never really bonded, no one really knew each other.

lectures started and everyone began to bond and make friends, but as the weeks progressed I realized that no one wanted to talk to me, or if they did they would never talk to me again.

My flatmates began acting weird, odd comments to me, strange looks and cruel giggles. I never really spoke and once the awkward silences followed by glares began and I wanted to hide in my room. I have one friend in the flat and he would sit and talk with the others occasionally and relay any information back to me, he was my only connection to my flatmates, it was then that he began to notice hateful words from the others. They would occasionally bitch about me behind my back, I realized that i wasn't imagining the cruel looks, they were real. As the weeks went on the words became more and more hateful, they began spreading into their few conversations with me to my face. "Queen bitch" and "majestic ****", they called me, accusing me of writing notes complaining about flat parties that I hadn't written and despite me never having spoken to them for more than a few greetings they seemed to think they knew me. I have become the most hated girl in the flat and it is getting worse, the comments come more and more often, but I know that if i tell the warden it will just make things worse.

Its week 8 now and I still have made no friends other than the one in my flat. My flatmates either actively avoid me or purposefully say things nasty to me.

Is anyone else finding it hard to make friends here or is being bullied somewhat, I hate it and I just want people to talk to.

Hey everyone, thank you so much for your replies, for anyone who wanted to know I do Zoology with Marine Zoology and I'm in Gwynant.

If i'm honest its starting to get worse again, apparently I am forcing my friend to do things for me, that he is brown-nosing me (kissing my ***) even if he gets me a cup of tea even though I do the same for him.

I feel like I need to do everything for the both of us (cooking, cleaning, doing everything for him, apologizing for things I didn't do wrong in front of them) solely so they don't make me out to be a slave worker.

I am so tired of this.

Assassins society (everyone here is really friendly)

I can attest to this, everyone in the guild is really friendly and we love welcoming new members any time through the year.

Alex_3401, were you present on Saturday evening for the fort social? I ask because I don't know any assassin's called Alex personally, but I do know there are some.

Hi, I'm also in Gwynant!! I'm on floor 3, where are you?
Your living situation sounds horrible! If you don't want to move halls you could ask your friend if you want to move together and find a place to rent outside halls, this would also be cheaper.

I don't really talk with people on my floor, we occasionally just smile/ say hi. I made most of my friends on my course and in societies. Try to spend as much time outside halls as possible so you don't feel too isolated, and join loads of societies! If you haven't already, then definitely do in the 2nd semester. If you like walking you could join the mountain walking society, there's also the debating society, badminton, Assassins society (everyone here is really friendly) or other societies related to your course.

If you ever feel you want to meet up just reply or message me, it's always nice to have a chat!
Hope things start to get better for you x

Self reflection helps and if you can't see any good reason to why you've garnered all this hateful attention then it is totally their issue.

They sound like real douchebags though so I wouldn't be surprised if you were getting hate just because they need someone to gossip about and verbally attack.