Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years we know each other very well and neither of us can bear the thought of cheating on each other. However, when it comes to university, we have very differing views.I would be in Falmouth and he in Cambridge so it would cost us about £80 in train fares to get back and forth, we were thinking 3 weeks at most to see each other but both agree it's too long, though we can't really afford any shorter periods.
He believes that the whole point of student life (minus the degree bit) is to go out, have fun, party all night, drink and bring home someone for a one night stand. He believes that being in a relationship with me means he won't be able to do that, therefore would be missing out, and he's worried that he might accidentally cheat on me (last thing he wants to do). He has suggested going on a break for at least the first few months to do that and just have fun.
However, I disagree that having sex with other students is solely the joy of student life and I don't believe it really is needed. I don't see the appeal in going out getting drunk with some random person I don't know just to have sex, when I have a perfectly good boyfriend (Although we would see each other less than one night stands might crop up). He says there is a difference between having sex with me and having sex with random people because he loves me, but that just makes me think of Neil from the In-betweeners when he says "Oh, it's ok because we're not kissing" - My boyfriend's defence was "it's different because I love you". I'm refusing to go on a break, because in the meantime I would effectively be 'offering him out on loan', while he has his hands on some other woman. I hate this idea and it really upsets me, a little like I'm not quite good enough for him so he's running off to find something better while I sit on the sidelines waiting for university to end so we might get back together.
Also, to sum up my opinion, if it has taken us 3 and a half year to get to this stage, we have both agreed that this means we have put love, trust and effort into our relationship to get this far. WHY? Is it not inappropriate then to just give away yourself to some random person on some random night? It makes our whole relationship feel worthless and to be quite frank makes me feel sick. He means way too much to me to just offer him up to all those other women out there, but at the same time, he feels as though he would be missing out if we continued the relationship throughout.
Please help we've been talking it over and over and none of us can come to any compromises :'(