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What should I do about this girl? Please help

I have a female friend who I have strong feelings for. But she is in a relationship and I have sort of accepted that we can never be together (at least that's what I tell myself)

Her relationship is a little "unique". Her bf lives in another country and they have only met once in person. They have been talking via Skype and messaging for the past 4 years. And she wants to marry him when we finish uni (in 2yrs time). Her family doesn't know about him. That's a bit of background info on that.

About 6 months ago I sort of told her I had feelings for her and she said I'm sorry I have a bf. I love him. Etc. She did say to me that she thinks we can't be friends anymore because she doesn't want to see me sad. I said no I want to stay friends and within a week, it was back to normal between us.

I like being friends with her. We get on really well and I'm happy when I'm around her.

The only thing is, sometimes I feel like I am too nice to her, and treat her as if she is more than just a friend. I am always helping her whenever she asks and I am always available to her. It's not deliberate - I just sort of don't want to say no to people I care about.

Sometimes I feel maybe she doesn't appreciate everything I do for her.
Also, I feel really attached to her and sometimes I feel I act a bit needy and clingy. I know that's not good but that's what I feel.

I've never had a girlfriend so maybe my closeness to this girl is because of that? I don't know.

I want to stay friends with her, but I am scared of pushing her away or distancing myself from her, because I like the closeness I have with this girl and I don't really want to do anything to ruin our friendship.

So I'm not sure how to proceed. I also get really upset easily with things regarding her. I care about her a lot.

Do you guys think that this is a result of my unrequited feelings towards her? I don't mean to do it but I can't help it sometimes.

I already know I care about her a lot more than she cares about me. Maybe she doesn't need to care that much? Maybe I am expecting too much?

A few other issues. She has lots of guy friends and I am 99% sure they all like her. I kind of get jealous and uneasy when I see her talking to them :/

I get upset very easily with her. I don't like to argue or have any problems with her.

I also have sexual thoughts about her from time to time :/

From time to time, I become really sad about the whole thing because I really like her and I can't accept the reality of the situation :frown:

What are your thoughts?

Reply 1

Tootles

Original post by believeteam22

I have a female friend who I have strong feelings for. But she is in a relationship and I have sort of accepted that we can never be together (at least that's what I tell myself) ...

Because she's in an LDR doesn't mean its not a valid relationship.

I know how it feels to have feelings for a good girl friend who's in a relationship, and I can tell you you'll just get hurt.

So GET YOUR NOSE OUT.