Flatmate told me he liked me... difficult situation.

People have always asked if me and my flatmate were together. Despite only knowing each other for just over 3 months we have become pretty close, we instantly clicked from day one. Last night he was drunk, came into my room (I went home because I didn't feel well so I never made it out) and he told me he liked me. This is where it gets difficult because not so long ago I got locked out of the flat and had to stay with someone, I started to develop feelings for this person the more time we spent together. The person who I like is friends with a flat that me and my flatmate have become friends with. I've told him that I like him and he said he liked me back (hoping he wouldn't lie about it) but wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship and needed time to think about it (not that I'm waiting around for him to make up his mind...I like to think I'm keeping my options open although I do like him A LOT)

My flatmate now won't talk to me properly, we can talk through text but he won't come out of his room. He knows I don't feel the same way so I understand he's feeling a little rejected. He doesn't know that I like his kind of friend and I'd rather he didn't know either. He's told me he doesn't see us being friends after Christmas and that I should pretty much find some new friends.

What do I do?!

Felt sorry for him up till the last sentence.

We are literally in opposite situations, with me wanting my house mate to say he likes me while another a guy I met but don't have feelings for likes me :') Brilliant.

Anyway, all you can really do is allow your flatmate time to get over and accept the rejections. Let him know you're still there and still his friend but try not to get too in his space right now. He seems to be taking the rejection pretty hard, it is possible the friendship won't recover so it's best you accept that now just in case.

I don't think you meant that.

I can see where this is going... Tomorrow thread " Had sex with my flat mate HELP!!!"

I do feel kind of sorry for him but he's being acting like a dick for the past week, he's been punching holes in his bedroom wall and everything which I caused because I was sat talking to the person I like in the dining area he could have sat with us, not like we were talking about anything important it was just casual.





Good luck! Although going out with a flatmate might not be a good idea.

I'm trying to but it's difficult when we used to spend a lot of time together, I mean we spent like too much time together, as soon we woke up to the minute we went to bed and apart from when we were in lectures.

Thanks, and I wouldn't worry I've always been good with maintaining friendships if relationships didn't work out in the past

Yeah I can understand that :/ I'm sorry.
Also I just saw about him punching holes in his bedroom walls...got to say it's a good job you didn't like that guy or accept his advances if he has a temper like that

If you're insinuating that he may have turned violent, don't. Men are inherently more prone to expressing anger physically and doing so on a wall does not indicate a propensity for women beating.

If you're insinuating that he may have turned violent, don't. Men are inherently more prone to expressing anger physically and doing so on a wall does not indicate a propensity for women beating.

Thanks, and I wouldn't worry I've always been good with maintaining friendships if relationships didn't work out in the past

Yeah I can understand that :/ I'm sorry.
Also I just saw about him punching holes in his bedroom walls...got to say it's a good job you didn't like that guy or accept his advances if he has a temper like that

When you think about it, his comment means this: "You have till Christmas to get with me, or we're done." An ultimatum. It's just a weird comment really, giving a very specific time frame for when your friendship will die.

Not necessarily that he would to turn violent against her though I do believe it a possibility. But no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is so out of control with their anger that they would put holes in the wall. That boy needs anger management help.

Millions and millions of human males seem to need anger management help in times of heart break. Privately expressing grief physically does not make a man any more likely to be violent to women and frankly I think the suggestion is misandristic.

I would say the same thing if it was woman punching holes in the wall.

A woman doing it would be more unusual since women are generally not as prone to physical expression of emotion, so arguably there would be more grounds for suspecting potential violent traits.

Do you have any documented evidence for that? Or just deciding that for yourself?

Basic logic.

People have always asked if me and my flatmate were together. Despite only knowing each other for just over 3 months we have become pretty close, we instantly clicked from day one. Last night he was drunk, came into my room (I went home because I didn't feel well so I never made it out) and he told me he liked me. This is where it gets difficult because not so long ago I got locked out of the flat and had to stay with someone, I started to develop feelings for this person the more time we spent together. The person who I like is friends with a flat that me and my flatmate have become friends with. I've told him that I like him and he said he liked me back (hoping he wouldn't lie about it) but wasn't sure if he wanted a relationship and needed time to think about it (not that I'm waiting around for him to make up his mind...I like to think I'm keeping my options open although I do like him A LOT)

My flatmate now won't talk to me properly, we can talk through text but he won't come out of his room. He knows I don't feel the same way so I understand he's feeling a little rejected. He doesn't know that I like his kind of friend and I'd rather he didn't know either. He's told me he doesn't see us being friends after Christmas and that I should pretty much find some new friends.

What do I do?!

It seems you are allowed to use basic logic, whereas I am not.