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Am I Heartless?

I'll try to cut a long story short!

Basically this guy asked me out and I said no...and I kept on saying no. I told him I didn't trust him and asked him to leave me alone. And I never thought about him. But he was always messaging and calling, checking where I was, saying good morning and good night....He remembered every little detail about me, and asked me to give him one chance. So I did. But I still didn't like him. But I told him that I did, and I have no idea why. I had to have a drink before we were together because I didn't even want to touch him. Then I think I treated him like dirt one too many times and after ignoring him for a while I said sorry. Then it all changed.

After I hadn't heard from him for a week he told me he didn't have the same feeling that he used to have when we were together and he was sorry. So then I texted him and told him that I never had any feelings for him and I only went out with him because he asked me to. I told him that it was a lot of effort being with him because there were no real feelings. We spoke about this text a few weeks later and he looked like he was going to cry.

Now I keep hearing about him being seen with lots of girls, including one of my friends (we're no longer speaking!) They seem to be just casual flings, girls I know have been around with lots of other guys. Why did I pretend to like him - am I just an attention seeker? Why do I still feel guilty about lying and pretending? Why does it bother me to hear what he's up to? Thanks in advance...

Reply 1

WeedCanKill

Exactly why you started this thread, for a little bit of validation

Reply 2

buuu

I am asking a genuine question. Is what I did so wrong? I don't know....

Reply 3

Zarek

You are where you are and these things happen. Just cut contact and get fixed up with someone you do fancy.

Reply 4

Metropolis

don't worry about it, move on. spend your time thinking about guys you might actually like.

Reply 5

username47781

Just move on if you have no feelings for him?

Reply 6

Mercedes7

Well you weren't attention seeking because he was the one that kept asking you and giving you attention. You didn't lead him on or anything. I guess you shouldn't have said yes, but you've told him the truth anyway. Don't feel bad, **** happens.

Reply 7

smeehan98

One of the most painful things you can tell someone is you were stringing them along, even if it was with good intentions. It makes them feel like they were just being used for kicks and humiliated, even if that wasn't the intention.

So yeah you have a right to be guilty. It was kind of a dick move. Particularly telling him AFTER he'd come to terms with leaving you, which is basically the same as saying "no, I dumped you first". At that point it would have been a whole lot kinder to just sound accepting of him leaving or something along those lines - that way he would never have have felt like he'd been wasting his time on you. You should have told him no from the start and stuck to it, but telling him then was pretty mean.

Fortunately he seems to have moved on fairly well, if the flings are anything to go by. In some ways you may have helped him - now he can move on with other girls and hopefully forget the whole mess.

Reply 8

High Stakes

A story with a happy ending. The guy leaves the cruel and attention seeking girl and hooks up with her friend.

Reply 9

buuu

Ouch! Well sleeping with girls who are all sleeping with other guys isn't exactly a happy ending...

Reply 10

Black Cat

Original post by buuu

Ouch! Well sleeping with girls who are all sleeping with other guys isn't exactly a happy ending...

You like him don't you? :tongue:

Reply 11

smeehan98

Original post by buuu

Ouch! Well sleeping with girls who are all sleeping with other guys isn't exactly a happy ending...

For quite a few guys it is. Certainly better than being stuck in emotional hell cause he can't get over the girl who strung him up.

And it's not like it's one sided. He's sleeping with other girls too, so he's using them just as much as they are him.

Fair trade imo.