Girlfriend of 8 years threatening to break up with me

All because I haven't proposed to her but I don't think Im ready for commitment like that though I love her very much. What should I do because I don't want her to leave me and I can't afford marrying her and buying a house on my current salary.

Reply 1

a320airbus97

3

Original post by Ahmedb1

All because I haven't proposed to her but I don't think Im ready for commitment like that though I love her very much. What should I do because I don't want her to leave me and I can't afford marrying her and buying a house on my current salary.

Try telling her that you will propose to her, but you can't at this time due to your financial situation. If she really loves you, she will wait.

Reply 2

az08

7

Original post by Ahmedb1

All because I haven't proposed to her but I don't think Im ready for commitment like that though I love her very much. What should I do because I don't want her to leave me and I can't afford marrying her and buying a house on my current salary.

Firstly it has been 8 years and you say you love her, how can you not be ready for that commitment?

Secondly I would think the answer is that your gut is telling you its not the right thing to do, and by threatening you she is actually showing that.

Maybe start thinking if she is the right woman for you.

Reply 3

Uw0tm8_

11

Do you feel like she's the one?
If you feel like you cant commit dont go through with it, its better for you to not get married than for you to end up cheating or something

Reply 4

_Fergo

19

Original post by az08

Firstly it has been 8 years and you say you love her, how can you not be ready for that commitment?

Secondly I would think the answer is that your gut is telling you its not the right thing to do, and by threatening you she is actually showing that.

Maybe start thinking if she is the right woman for you.

"Marrying" isn't all about love. It's requires major financial commitments; not only is the marriage itself costly, but all that will follow after that require a steady and progressive income.

You can't say "Well I love her, so I'll marry her." when you can't be sure about your prospects.

I agree with the OP that he should, at first, make sure that he can actually afford the costs. Of course, he should also make that clear. As said above, if she loves him, she will wait regardless.

You need to explain that to her OP.

Now, if the reason is that you actually don't want a serious relationship commitment, that's a different story. In that case, you should make sure what it is that you actually want.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 5

Queen Cersei

18

Original post by Ahmedb1

All because I haven't proposed to her but I don't think Im ready for commitment like that though I love her very much. What should I do because I don't want her to leave me and I can't afford marrying her and buying a house on my current salary.

All it is is that after 8 years she might be feeling the pressure to settle down and make sure you are committed which you obviously are, make sure to stress to her that you have every intention of marrying her in the future but you want to do things right... give her the ring she wants, be able to not get in huge debt from having a wedding too soon and to be able to buy a house when your salary increases. Tell her it is not a question of love but patience. Good luck :smile:

Reply 6

Shueb95

9

It's been 8 years and your still not ready? slow and steady dosnt always win the race.

Any ways Hope you both come to a reasonable solution.

Reply 7

ridwan12

12

Original post by Ahmedb1

All because I haven't proposed to her but I don't think Im ready for commitment like that though I love her very much. What should I do because I don't want her to leave me and I can't afford marrying her and buying a house on my current salary.

8 YEARS.... and your not ready to commit. She probably feels like your wasting her time.

Either commit to her or she's obviously not the one and you should both move on. Being married is no different from the situation your in right now anyway.

Reply 8

donutaud15

22

Engagement doesnt have to lead immediately to marriage. How about compromise and propose but marry when you're ready?

Also you don't have to own a house to get married :rolleyes:

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 9

az08

7

Original post by *Stefan*

"Marrying" isn't all about love. It's requires major financial commitments; not only is the marriage itself costly, but all that will follow after that require a steady and progressive income.

You can't say "Well I love her, so I'll marry her." when you can't be sure about your prospects.

I agree with the OP that he should, at first, make sure that he can actually afford the costs. Of course, he should also make that clear. As said above, if she loves him, she will wait regardless.

You need to explain that to her OP.

Now, if the reason is that you actually don't want a serious relationship commitment, that's a different story. In that case, you should make sure what it is that you actually want.

Who mentioned anything about getting married? The OP clearly states he is not ready to propose, which is what his girlfriend wants. Getting engaged does not mean having to spend money. After 8 years with someone you should definately know whether or not you want to commit to them for life.

Reply 10

Tiger Rag

22

How old are you both?

Reply 11

_Fergo

19

Original post by az08

Who mentioned anything about getting married? The OP clearly states he is not ready to propose, which is what his girlfriend wants. Getting engaged does not mean having to spend money. After 8 years with someone you should definately know whether or not you want to commit to them for life.

Re-read the original post. He is referring to marriage, not getting engaged.

Reply 12

username47781

20

All you can do is stress that you do want to settle down with her but explain your financial position doesn't allow you to do so. Mind you one of my friends was engaged for over 8 years before she finally tied the knot, so you could just have a long engagement.

Reply 13

az08

7

Original post by *Stefan*

Re-read the original post. He is referring to marriage, not getting engaged.

You re-read the OP. He quite clearly states his girlfriend is not happy because he has not proposed yet, and that he is not ready for that commitment.

Getting engaged is a big commitment, but OP assumes that getting engaged means he needs to spend lots of money on a marriage and buy a new house within the next week.

Reply 14

_Fergo

19

Original post by az08

You re-read the OP. He quite clearly states his girlfriend is not happy because he has not proposed yet, and that he is not ready for that commitment.

Getting engaged is a big commitment, but OP assumes that getting engaged means he needs to spend lots of money on a marriage and buy a new house within the next week.

Either you are missing the point, or I am. Not all people who actually marry engage first. I haven't seen a couple engage for quite some time (and I mean quite some time!) here.

And OP refers directly to marriage. He mentions nothing about engaging.

Reply 15

BullViagra

15

if you dont like her in that way then youre an ass for stringing her along for 8 years

Reply 16

Rakas21

21

Op, if your not ready to marry the girl after 8 years, you probably never will be.

Stop wasting the girls time and either make her yours or break up.

Reply 17

StyleIcon

11

Original post by Ahmedb1

All because I haven't proposed to her but I don't think Im ready for commitment like that though I love her very much. What should I do because I don't want her to leave me and I can't afford marrying her and buying a house on my current salary.

Lol from your previous posts I can tell that you're somali. Is your girlfriend Somali too? If she is good luck! she won't stay around long cos Somali girls want that ring or its over loool

Reply 18

Zarek

21

Don't know what age you guys are. But you need to be very careful to avoid a women committing her prime dating and reproductive years and then the relationship not working out. I'm probably with her..