Afraid of seeing a sex therapist

So i've arranged to see a sex therapist because i'm 23 and still a virgin as i've got a huge fear and shame around my sexuality.

I feel a lot of guilt and shame for wanting to look at and appreciating feminine beauty. If i look at a girl and smile and even if she smiles back then i feel a lot of embarrassment.

I'm a little scared of turning up because, i happen to know this guy's wife. She is basically the daughter of some really good neighbours (we go to church together and attend bible study groups together and i visit their house a little)

I'm scared it'll be awkward and that he'll talk about my business to his wife and she'll then reveal it to everyone and i'll be really humiliated. What should i do?

Reply 1

Safiya122

15

it's her job though isn't it? and i'm sure his partner knows about his job and i'm sure part of the job requires confidentiality but if it's still worrying, find someone else instead?

Reply 2

username1670433

6

I'd say find another therapist (need not necessarily be sex therapist. any psychologist will do). go to your GP, claim you have behavioural issues, they'll make you a referral and you should be fine. this is how I got therapy for my anxiety through the NHS.

Also, don't worry about the whole situation that much. I'm 21 and still a virgin but not because I'm shy or ugly or anything, but just because I didn't feel physically attracted to any of the guys I dated.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by rri14

I'd say find another therapist (need not necessarily be sex therapist. any psychologist will do). go to your GP, claim you have behavioural issues, they'll make you a referral and you should be fine. this is how I got therapy for my anxiety through the NHS.

Also, don't worry about the whole situation that much. I'm 21 and still a virgin but not because I'm shy or ugly or anything, but just because I didn't feel physically attracted to any of the guys I dated.

Hmm what issues were you dealing with when you saw that NHS therapist? My issues are mostly to do with being shy around women and expressing my desires. Also being afraid of talking to a woman in public.

It's different for a woman being a virgin, you can sleep with any guy you want. I need to get this handled as all the good women get snapped up quickly.

Reply 4

username1670433

6

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm what issues were you dealing with when you saw that NHS therapist? My issues are mostly to do with being shy around women and expressing my desires. Also being afraid of talking to a woman in public.

It's different for a woman being a virgin, you can sleep with any guy you want. I need to get this handled as all the good women get snapped up quickly.

Depression and social anxiety. I can see your point. Anxiety does not affect one's sex life. You need help indeed.

I know this is not helping you at all, but I'm going to say it anyway: there is absolutely NO reason to be shy around women at your age - at any age, for that matter. We are all humans who have different weaknesses, be them of character or any other sort.

Research sex therapists on-line, maybe you can chat with them for free. (I did that when I was a teenager). Also, go to your GP and ask for a referral to see a psychologist asap.

I wish you very good luck! :smile:

Reply 5

iama

7

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm what issues were you dealing with when you saw that NHS therapist? My issues are mostly to do with being shy around women and expressing my desires. Also being afraid of talking to a woman in public.

It's different for a woman being a virgin, you can sleep with any guy you want. I need to get this handled as all the good women get snapped up quickly.

If a virgin woman would have your issue, it's obvious she wouldn't be able to sleep with just any guy. Just because she would maybe have the chance, it doesn't mean that she would be emotionally ready or willing to do so. Availability isn't by any means all that's required to have sex.

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Afraid of seeing a sex therapist

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