The Student Room Group

Should I tactically ignore my Gf's texts?

Lately it seems like she's been taking me for granted. Everything right now is revolving around her Uni homework. I came down to visit her for just this weekend (I'm leaving later today) and I've seen her twice. I suppose she does act quite intimate with me, but the other days I barely hear from her. Like yesterday I didn't hear from her at all.

I'm extremely busy too, but I still manage to make time for her and get good grades at Uni.

Why is she being like this?

Scroll to see replies

Why don't you talk to her about it instead of ignoring her texts? It's not going to help and then you'll be on here asking questions you should be asking your gf again...
Reply 2
Original post by C_tinie_D
Why don't you talk to her about it instead of ignoring her texts? It's not going to help and then you'll be on here asking questions you should be asking your gf again...


Because I've talked about it with her before without avail. All she says is that she's really busy. How can someone put so much time in work and forget about her BF? Why is this relationship so one-sided in terms of communication?
Communicate how you feel to her. Get her to understand WHY you don't like the fact she is busy. Some people are less good at managing their work than others, if this is the case and she has deadlines try to understand otherwise arrange a particular day when she is most free and take her out all day.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Why don't you just give her some space? She is obviously busy, so why pester her?
Maybe she just really wants to focus on uni right now , after all it does determine if she gets a well paid job in the future and is this her first year at uni or her last?
Reply 6
Original post by Collaborator
Why don't you just give her some space? She is obviously busy, so why pester her?



Oh yeah because that's a relationship ... I've given her space before, when she was having a rough time with her bitch of a friend, but that was a week ago. If I don't contact her and give her space, she'll just message me asking if I'm mad at her.
Original post by Dodgypirate
Oh yeah because that's a relationship ... I've given her space before, when she was having a rough time with her bitch of a friend, but that was a week ago. If I don't contact her and give her space, she'll just message me asking if I'm mad at her.


Why make this thread then if you have already made up your mind?
'Tactically ignoring' anyone is ridiculous.

Tell all of this to her, not to strangers on the internet. Then you might get somewhere.
Reply 9
Original post by Collaborator
Why make this thread then if you have already made up your mind?


Because I need advice on how to deal with this?
Original post by frankietbx
Maybe she just really wants to focus on uni right now , after all it does determine if she gets a well paid job in the future and is this her first year at uni or her last?


Her last ... But she's super smart, she doesn't need to work so much at all. She keeps complaining that she's going to fail her exams, but she gets really high grades any way.

He'll I spend barely any time revising and doing work at Uni ... But I still get really high grades too.

I just thought that both people had to put something into the relationship and find a balance between between it and work? It just feels really one sided at the moment.
Everyone has times where they are really busy, it is a bit silly to invite you down and then not see you but procrastination like that is common. Give her some space for a bit for heaven's sake
Them games right there..
Why do you go down just to be pissed off at her? Instead, don't bother in the future if all she is going to do is ignore you for the weekend. It works both ways in a relationship and you should not have to waste your time going down to see her, if all she is going to do is sit and do work.

I undestand that she may have a lot on her plate at the moment, but at the same time if you agreed to see one another, the last thing you should expect is to be sat on your own when you could be either enjoying your weekend yourself or doing something more productive.
Original post by 3309will
Why do you go down just to be pissed off at her? Instead, don't bother in the future if all she is going to do is ignore you for the weekend. It works both ways in a relationship and you should not have to waste your time going down to see her, if all she is going to do is sit and do work.

I undestand that she may have a lot on her plate at the moment, but at the same time if you agreed to see one another, the last thing you should expect is to be sat on your own when you could be either enjoying your weekend yourself or doing something more productive.


I had a of things to do over this weekend including seeing my dying aunt in hospital and adding the finishing touches to this 1750 word essay. But I still had time for her. I guess it's because I manage it better than her.

Honestly, she is great on person: she'll show how much she loves me, but when it comes to texting and calls it's a different story - possibly because she's **** at them both, but so am I.

Since were apart for 2 weeks at a time, we decided that we'd make the most out of the weekends we see each other, but spending 2 days out of 4 (long weekend) is just not enough.
Original post by scrotgrot
Everyone has times where they are really busy, it is a bit silly to invite you down and then not see you but procrastination like that is common. Give her some space for a bit for heaven's sake


It's not a question about inviting me down - we have agreed to do this ever since I started Uni. Every 2 weeks one of us travels to see the other.

The last 4 weeks I'm the one who has gone down: the first time because it was my turn and the second because she was too busy with work to come up. In 2 weeks time she's coming up because it's her friends birthday and it's her turn to do so.

How much bloody room does she want?? No calls? No texts? ... She'd start wondering if I had just ditched her completely.

I'm a busy bee too you know? I've been so stressed out lately with coursework, homework and the fact my aunt is dying from cancer yet I still give my Gf time because I want to see her.
Original post by Dodgypirate
Her last ... But she's super smart, she doesn't need to work so much at all. She keeps complaining that she's going to fail her exams, but she gets really high grades any way.

He'll I spend barely any time revising and doing work at Uni ... But I still get really high grades too.

I just thought that both people had to put something into the relationship and find a balance between between it and work? It just feels really one sided at the moment.


She's not complaining, she's worrying. Everybody does, whether it be way before an exam or just as it is about to start. The reason why she's super smart is because she constantly studies really hard, unlike you because you simply remember.

Everyone's ways of coping for exams are different. Also have you ever considered maybe whatever she's studying is a lot more harder and time consuming as the standard gets higher?

On a further note I say you should stick it out with her. It's not her fault that she has exams coming up and something like this could throw her off and disrupt her from getting the qualifications she needs. She might not say it but I think you just being there is keeping her going and if she's asking you 'Are you mad at me?' It shows that she still cares about you and values your opinion, if she didn't she wouldn't have bothered asking to begin with.

And of course a relationship is two sided but obviously there are ups and Downs, it's not glitter sparkles like in the movies. All the best relationships have succeeded because of both people's endurance and love for wanting the best life for their partner.
Original post by frankietbx
She's not complaining, she's worrying. Everybody does, whether it be way before an exam or just as it is about to start. The reason why she's super smart is because she constantly studies really hard, unlike you because you simply remember.

Everyone's ways of coping for exams are different. Also have you ever considered maybe whatever she's studying is a lot more harder and time consuming as the standard gets higher?

On a further note I say you should stick it out with her. It's not her fault that she has exams coming up and something like this could throw her off and disrupt her from getting the qualifications she needs. She might not say it but I think you just being there is keeping her going and if she's asking you 'Are you mad at me?' It shows that she still cares about you and values your opinion, if she didn't she wouldn't have bothered asking to begin with.

And of course a relationship is two sided but obviously there are ups and Downs, it's not glitter sparkles like in the movies. All the best relationships have succeeded because of both people's endurance and love for wanting the best life for their partner.


I think this is the answer I was looking for.

I'm struggling with it (a bit), but deep down I know I want her to succeed in life and get the qualifications she needs for the career she wants. She has mentioned in the past that she wants us to live together next year, which is a good sign.

I wasn't worried she was wanting to end the relationship ... I was worried about the intimacy levels. I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it till things start to cool down.

Thanks.
Original post by Dodgypirate
I think this is the answer I was looking for.

I'm struggling with it (a bit), but deep down I know I want her to succeed in life and get the qualifications she needs for the career she wants. She has mentioned in the past that she wants us to live together next year, which is a good sign.

I wasn't worried she was wanting to end the relationship ... I was worried about the intimacy levels. I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it till things start to cool down.

Thanks.


You're welcome:smile:

(I'd just like to point out that you just received the best advice of your life from a 15 year old 💁ahaha jokess)
She's ambitious and wants to do well -- nothing wrong with that. Just try and be patient and understanding of her situation. She may want to see you all the time, but she must make sacrifices as well you do.

Quick Reply

Latest