The Student Room Group

Should I ask him to get tested before sex or am I over worrying?

A 57 year old man asked me out (known him for 10 years tho) I'm in my late twenties, inexperienced and although I'm sort of attracted to him I'm worried about catching sti's. He has been a single womanizer all his life with girlfriends all over the country/world. I've always been very health conscious but is it generally classed as 'over the top'/ awkward to ask someone to get tested even though they are willing to use a condom? I mean I know the risks are low with condoms but are most people happy with this or do a lot make their partner get tested before sex? What would you do?
Reply 1
If he's worth your time, he won't mind.
Reply 2
"I'll have sex if you get tested" -> where do I sign up?
Original post by VannR
If he's worth your time, he won't mind.


I mean I'm willing to get tested to (even tho I'm inexperienced) but I somehow get the feeling not many tend to do so at the start if they are using protection.
Even if not many do (because relying on condoms is enough for them) you're not happy unless you do, are you?

A test will only tell you whether someone had HIV about a month ago. Many STIs have shorter 'window periods' than that, but you still end up with having to trust them to some extent.
You have kind of already decided to sleep with him. Why don't you go out with younger guys?
Original post by Guy Secretan
You have kind of already decided to sleep with him. Why don't you go out with younger guys?


Question is why dont they go out with me! Im not a girly girl and have always focused on sports etc so they havent really been interested. Theres also the maturity thing (even tho im not exactly mature) I did try it, met one guy my age online who was inexperienced like me, but i didnt feel a connection, gently let him down. So he called me an ugly lesbien, the latter isnt true. So its just not worked for me guess i cant afford to be picky lol.
Nope, better to be safe than sorry to be honest. If he's offended then move on, swiftly.

Don't put yourself down! You are only in your late twenties anyway, not late 90's just give it time.
Not everyone is interested in girly girls trust me on that one.

Just because you met ONE GUY your age doesn't mean we are all like that and you won't ever find a connection :O

Everyone deserves to be happy etc so don't go putting yourself down and 'settling' for this grandpa because you feel defeated. You haven't even started so you can't feel defeated already.

Also, if you are genuinely interested in him I take back what I said about the 'grandpa' bit but if you feel in your heart and mind you need/want him to get tested. Don't even think about sleeping with him if he refuses, you don't want to regret it. Once you've done it you can't take it back.

All the best :smile:
Reply 8
Nope, I think it's normal and good to ask :smile: you also have more facts as reasons to belive that he might have something. He should understand. Go for it!

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