The Student Room Group

Ladies, would you ever have a relationship with a man who had kid(s)?

Original poster:
Original post by SaucissonSecCy
X


http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2988063

I've seen the 'opposite' thread a few times. So fellow females, would you ever have a relationship with a man who had kid(s)?

Personally, I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to be the evil step mother, plus I don't really know if I want my own kids so why would I want to raise somebody elses?

My answer is based on personal experiences.
No, I wouldn't. The kids would alwys come first.

I am also concerned that if the relationship gets serious, they may see me as a mother figure, which may cause some issues if we split up.
Reply 2
Avatar for EloiseStar
EloiseStar
OP
18
Original post by OU Student
No, I wouldn't. The kids would alwys come first.

I am also concerned that if the relationship gets serious, they may see me as a mother figure, which may cause some issues if we split up.


I agree with your first point. As somebody who has a step-mother who is jealous of the attention my father gives me (I never recognised it, but other family members have), I wouldn't want to be seen from the child's perspective as stealing their parent. I think I'd struggle to get the boundary between caring step-mother without going too far where the child's mother felt threatened by me taking on her 'role'.
No, not at this stage of my life anyway. If I was in my late 30s I'd probably have to lower my standards slightly
I'd have to say a no because it really makes a difference to lifestyle and responsibilities. I'm selfish and don't want to be number 2. Nor do I want to painstakingly arrange baby sitters and the like to go out on simple things like a date or a holiday.
I like the spontaneous things in a relationship.
Not all children see you as the 'evil' stepmother. My boyfriend has two children, aged 7 and 5, and we get on really rather well. I know his children will always have to come first, but at least for me that's not an issue. It does make everything a lot more complicated, and I either have to be very, very spontaneous, or plan really far in advance, but it's always been worth it. I find it very rewarding they are letting me be part of their lives.

Then again, I'm not very keen on having my own children, so dating a divorced man feels like a win-win situation. A fun time with the children, not the same responsibilities their mother has.
Reply 6
Avatar for Rum Ham
Rum Ham
20
No I wouldn't. Wanting or having kids already is the biggest dealbreaker for me as I don't ever want kids.

Posted from TSR Mobile
No, I wouldn't want to date a man with children. I don't want children myself, let alone to look after and be nice to someone elses. Plus it'll be awkward when they're being little ****s and you can't tell them off because you don't want to overstep the mark.

I'd also think that someone my age with children didn't have the same core or family values I have, and that's really important to me.
Reply 8
Avatar for keturah
keturah
11
No not at this age. I'm not even sure I want kids when I'm older.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you