For those good with relationships why did this girl show interest then avoid me?

Hi all,

I was in work and this girl came to my desk to give me feedback, subsequently she signalled interest in me by being nervous around me and smiling.

I later then had three further experiences with this girl which caused her to avoid me. First one was I said Hi to her when I don't think I should have really said Hi to her which possibly made me come across as having no social skills? she was walking in a completely different direction to where I was going. Secondly I was in a group discussion and due to my lack of social skills I thought she needed way to pass through but she didn't there was plenty of room behind me. This possibly was interpreted as being too nice? There was another incident where I was speaking to gay members of her team. Did this make her think I was gay? I don't think it should have because she saw me being flirty with a female colleague as well?

Is this the three reasons why she then proceeded to avoid me?

Thanks

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

CatnipGlows

I think you're reading waaaaaay too much into all of this..

Reply 2

username1088466

Original post by abbiemac

I think you're reading waaaaaay too much into all of this..

Really? I don't understand why she then avoided me though?

Reply 3

WeedCanKill

Chill. Seriously the worst thing you can do is over think things and overreact. Just chill then it'll become more clear.

Reply 4

517340

I think the issue here is that you took her behaviour as interest towards you. Maybe she's just a timid person?

She was heading in a completely different direction to you in the first 'avoidance' example, can't really blame her for not sticking around if she had to go somewhere. Also, if 'Hi' is needy then I must be horrendously thirsty for saying "hey" to everyone.

I don't really understand what happened for the second example but again it looks like a non-issue.

The third one I personally think you've lost the plot with looking far too deeply into it. Again a non-issue, avoidance isn't even mentioned.

The flirting may be the only credible variable in this but again there's a massive chance you've misinterpreted this from the start.

Reply 5

username1088466

Original post by Ruthless Dutchman

This is what I think it is that I cannot interpret social situations and thus this led her to avoid me? And furthermore after all this when I came next to her in the canteen she then moved away from me?

In the second situation I moved back from the group to give her way this is why I felt she felt I had no social skills. Why would someone do this?

Thanks for your response

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

InnerTemple

Not unusual for someone to be nervous when giving feedback. Pretending to be nice and acting as if you actually like the person is the first thing they teach you in feedback school.

As for the rest - you're over thinking. Now crack on with paying more attention to your work, or else the poor girl will have to come and have a chat with you again.

Reply 7

517340

Original post by Saqua

This is what I think it is that I cannot interpret social situations and thus this led her to avoid me?

In the second situation I moved back from the group to give her way this is why I felt she felt I had no social skills. Why would someone do this?

And lost the plot? HAHA

Much love for your response dude!

I don't think any of that sounds like she's been avoiding you to be honest.

So you were in a group and you thought she wanted get past so you moved out of the way to give her space? That's a very normal thing to do? Social skills play no part in this.

Glad I could help :smile:

Reply 8

username1088466

Does sound like my fault actually, maybe I thought she was interested in me when she really wasn't.

Reply 9

Uw0tm8_

Youre O V E R analysing this m8

Reply 10

stargirl63

lol chill out - she's not even done anything worth posting about. Just be friendly to her and if you like her, ask her out. You trying to psycho-analyse the situation doesn't really help.

Reply 11

NatureFellow

You are thinking too much into it all.
Your mind is getting carried away.

You haven't done anything horrible to her.
If anything you are just being sweet.
Keep being nice, and see where it goes.

Maybe she's overthinking things just as much as you!