Lies, lies and more lies : (

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Anonymous

I emailed her just a sec ago and said this, I told you the truth about my whole life in one email so you can tell I'm not lying any more.

What can I do or is this a complete lost cause? I really want to prove myself and regain her trust. :frown:

Oh dear

When you've done something wrong, or hurt someone else, the hardest possible thing to do is to leave them alone. All your instincts are telling you to jump in there, make it better, say you're sorry a hundred times...then wait for them to forgive you. But people don't often work like that, I'm afraid. They take time to get over things.

That's why I think the best thing to do now is to leave her alone for a while. I know it's painful, it's excrutiating, it's distressing - but it's what you've got to do. Let her sit for a while, forget it, let it all die down. If you can do that - if you can restrain yourself for a while and not harang her and stalk her, you'll be showing that you are a mature person who just made a stupid, stupid mistake, and who is able to respect her wish to let her be for a while.

I hope things improve for you :smile:

xxx

Reply 21

Anonymous #1

This is the email I received just minutes ago:

'after everything you've done do you honestly think that i ever want to talk
2 you ever again?! forget about me and leave me alone, find someone else
that you like and make sure you dont make the same mistakes there'.

I had emailed earlier this afternoon asking for her to allow me a chance to just put things right but she wasn't having any of it and got that in response.

I won't reply.

I'm broken :frown:

Reply 22

Sam Beckett

You were broken before that email. A normal person doesn't try to evoke sympathy from people with false tales. Serious ones too, there are people with real diseases dying and in need of operations who don't get them.

Sounds like you're an attention seeker or something.

LEAVE THE POOR GIRL ALONE.

Reply 23

Anonymous #2

I don't mean to sound rude sam but u have no reason to talk much either considering you dumped your girlfriend on a thread in here.

Reply 24

Claire_Elizabeth

Give her time to cool off! Then try talking to her again in like a week. It wasnt very nice to lie though, what did you say you had to have an operation for?

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

The only reason there is or any reason would be because I wanted attention.

I have to reiterrate I am NOT an attention seaker usually and this is out of character completely for me.

I'm giving her time now I can only hope she can properly forgive me but her email today she will probably stick by for months probably years.
I'm never going to forget about her - I don't care how 'sad' that is I will not forget, yes I will get over it but never forget her as a person.

Its going to be so so hard on Monday when go back to uni, she will inevitably see me at least once and she may have told other people which will make me go down really well - its a complete mess!

What can I do right now? Her email today is last time she has said anything or me said anything to her so right now I am keeping away. But in the future?

Reply 26

Claire_Elizabeth

To be honest, there's nothing you can do for the time being, what's done is done and you cant change what has happened. I will admit what you did was wrong, however everybody makes mistakes and like you said it was completely out of character. Just give your friend time to "chill out" and give her her own space.

Reply 27

Anonymous #3

why does she matter so much, do you fancy her or something??? just find someone else!

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

Yes, I did fancy her at one point, I think I still do, I really don't know.

She is the closest female friend I have ever had and I want to just make it up to her I can't just 'move on' after doing this to her.
I feel I have to make it up to her or prove to her I am not a lier really and this was just a stupid thing that got so so much out of hand and I can't stress enough I SERIOUSLY regret it!

Reply 29

Shreerac1

Anonymous

There is still a chance she'll be friends with you again. Keep pestering her and she'll eventually cave in.

Reply 30

goldfiiisheee

why did you tell her you had a disease?

Reply 31

Anonymous #1

Please read my post - post #26

Reply 32

Anonymous #4

subterfuge

stop emailing her, at least for a while or you'll just make the situation worse.

if he was trying to lay her, this would be good advice, but in this situation, you need to concede the moral ground too and that means doing the leg work to make things right and **** like that. you obviously care about her... and in time she'll forget more and more about the lies

just my opinion tho

Reply 33

Anonymous #4

Anonymous

oh but dont come off as obsessive... that would be a disaster

Reply 34

Anonymous #1

Last poster, what do you suggest I say exactly, after I detailed the email she sent me today?

Thank you for your advice means a lot.

Reply 35

Anonymous #1

Like the previous annonymous poster said, I really need to get her to know I am sorry and right now she probably thinks I am laughing at her for being so gullable when it is far from that this is the worst thing I have done to any one in my life and I seriously mean that.

I regret this so much and I need to show I am sencerely sorry, other than a letter, what can I do in way of really showing I am sorry? She has one of these 'bebo' pages - perhaps draw a picture on the 'whiteboard' fucntion they have on there but then it would be public and her friends would ask why I am saying sorry and what I am sorry for!
How can I say sorry? I need the words to say to her I can't find them myself I need to email her and apologise once more, properly saying how sencerely sorry I am.

Further replies very very much appreicated.
Cheers

Reply 36

Sam Beckett

Anonymous

why does she matter so much, do you fancy her or something??? just find someone else!

He's obsessed and/or emo. You can tell from his posts.

You don't NEED to get her to know you're sorry. If she doesn't want to talk to you then she doesn't NEED your apology. Just move on and stop obsessing over this one girl. It's your own stupid fault for lying, deal with it but leave the girl alone. She's made it clear she wants nothing to do with you.

How many other guys would go this far just to say sorry to a ruddy girl? Do you need 'something more than a letter?'

I'm a guy but I find it kinda creepy how you won't just stop.

Reply 37

Ms.Golightly

All you can do is explain why you lied, explain how truly sorry you are, explain that her friendship means a lot to you and maybe explain that if she wants nothing else to do with you then you understand.

After that like everyone else said, it's pretty much up to her. She's probably more confused than anything so needs a bit of time. Like other said though, don't appear overly obsessive or it will make it worse.

Reply 38

danni_bella

little_red_sox

I'm embarrased for you dude.

Maybe just put this one down to experience?

:dito: Yep just put it down to experience :wink:

I'd still be your friend though :smile:

I dunno, maybe I'm just a sympathetic person but you seem so nice - making the effort to patch things up, I seriously wouldn't dream of holding a grudge against you if you were a mate of mine. Also given your circumstances, can't your 'friend' take any of this into consideration? Does she know about your situation? Perhaps explain to her what you just told us. Good luck!

Reply 39

a_t

Well your lying was a stupid thing to do

Considering you had already fallen out, now she has found this out you've got no chance. I'd focus on damage limitation in regard to stopping this getting out any further