The Student Room Group

I fancy a guy who thinks I should lose weight

We are good friends but not too close. i have started to develope feelings for him. I thought he did like me a bit as we hang out lots. He's very passionate about eating healthy, working out and cooking. He's inspired me a lot!
I have recently started to copy what he does to eat healthier. He noticed it and he's just sent me a message on facebook :

' you said you want to start eating more healthy. Here is your challengehttp://www.doctoroz.com/episode/eat-clean-whole30-elimination-plan '

Well, the videos are about losing weight not eating healthy :frown: I can't help but feeling like he thinks I should lose weight. This also means he thinks I am not good enough for him/he thinks I am fat and therefore he is not interested. :frown:(

Scroll to see replies

Spot on
Move on
if that's the case then don't bother with him.
Are you legitimately overweight though or is he one of those dweebs that only dates girls that are super skinny? Somehow I'm guessing it's the latter, in which case, forget that dunce.
Reply 4
I think his advice is that of a good friend. I don't think he's interested, but if you lose weight, you never know. But lose the weight for yourself, not for anyone else.
Forget it.

You will be constantly dieting to please him for fear he will dump you and comparing you to other 'perfect' (in his view only) girls.

May as well hand over your soul because you will already have given away your self esteem, confidence and personal control to him.

No-one is worth that.

Move on while you still possess them.

Keep him as a friend but find someone else to fall in love with. Seriously.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 6
what is so wrong about loosing weight? It is more beneficial for you then it is for him.
Loose weight then maybe ? I understand that doing it solely for him may be detrimental to your self worth but it will bring so much benefits . Do it for yourself so you can laugh in his face.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by uberteknik
Forget it.

You will be constantly dieting to please him for fear he will dump you and comparing you to other 'perfect' (in his view only) girls.

May as well hand over your soul because you will already have given away your self esteem, confidence and personal control to him.

No-one is worth that.

Move on while you still possess them.

Keep him as a friend but find someone else to fall in love with. Seriously.


This. Lose weight for you as you will be healthier but not for someone who may drop you as soon as you gain a pound. Find someone else to crush on and keep him in the friend zone. You will not find happiness with him.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 9
I don't see the problem.

He may well think your an 8, what's wrong with him wanting to make you a 9 in the same way you might try add value to a house.
Reply 10
I have an inkling you've left out the part in this story where you regularly say to him "OMG, I'm so fat, I really need to lose some weight." While hoping for him to turn around and say "No, you're perfect, let's ****."
Original post by Rakas21
I don't see the problem.

He may well think your an 8, what's wrong with him wanting to make you a 9 in the same way you might try add value to a house.


I don't think a person's value is determined by someone's weight, and that a person can be compared to a house - an object. If this guy doesn't appreciate you for who you are now a relationship simply wouldn't work, I don't think it would be an enjoyable relationship and it certainly can't be love.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 12
Be honest, do you think you're fat? I'm sure he didn't mean to send you that link with bad intentions, you said yourself that you'd like to be healthier. Don't ever change yourself for a guy, espcially if he has the balls to insult your appearance.
Original post by sugaratoms
I don't think a person's value is determined by someone's weight, and that a person can be compared to a house - an object. If this guy doesn't appreciate you for who you are now a relationship simply wouldn't work, I don't think it would be an enjoyable relationship and it certainly can't be love.

Posted from TSR Mobile


Of course, your being too literal. But i'm sure most people would like their partner to be a tad more attractive.

Most people are not in love when they get together, that comes over time.
As a guy who tends to be pretty oblivious on these things, maybe he just thought she was interested in healthy eating? I mean eating healthily and losing weight are strongly linked, that's the main reason people will make a big effort to lose weight. He might have sent this totally innocently.

There are also other reasons to want a girl to lose weight. I'd like my girlfriend to lose weight, just because she'd be happier and more confident.
Hi guys, thanks for the advice!

Just a few points I want to get across here.

I am slightly overweight ( size 14 ) and I am not a petite girl ( 5''7 ). I have never complaint about my weight in front of anyone, including him. I just know and accept myself. I always think that it is a sensitive subject and I might also hurt someone's feelings by complaining about my weight issues.

However, when talking to people I do say that I do not think I eat healthy enough. I must admit that I talk to him a lot about cooking therefore I must have repeated that I want to eat healthier.

Having said that, I feel upset when I got his message....technically telling me to lose weight. I am just confused if I am a bit oversensitive about this or he really means I am not worth it for him. This troubles me because I do like him.
...
so women are allowed to be shallow but not men?
jakes on him, dr oz is a renowned bro scientist
Reply 19
There's nothing wrong with him wanting to be with a healthy person or even trying to 'convert' other people to be healthy. It's just what health freaks do. It's not him being an ******* or being vain or shallow. Rather than that, he just wants the best for you as he believes that being healthy is the most beneficial and rewarding thing. Been there done that. It's just automatic for people like him. It's like a way of promoting healthy lifestyles as that is the norms/values he is used to. It's pretty standard.

Quick Reply

Latest