The Student Room Group

Diagnose my mental condition from this poem

I wrote this whilst in the library and going through a lot point, listening to slow piano music.

Are you able to read through and pick out what I may be suffering from?

Curious to know.

Struggles of mind

held back
half the person i could be
unable to smile
disabled
restricted
like there is little hope
lonelines
yet surrounded by humans
tiredness, fatigue
the fear
anxiety
sense of inadequacy
exhaustion
like i have no voice
but one weak and quivering
at any foresight of danger
no energy
my battles aren't equal
to those who suffer the same
my battles are my own
deeper, more substantial
difficult to break through
these shoes
bound to my feet
forever mine or empty
insurpassable
a challenge
insurmountable

a thousand attempts
at pushing my spirit
but no progress
only transient, restored
by the calm stability
of emptiness
a flat line
no pulse
no trajectory
the horizon, merely
an extrusion of this reality
through the axis of time

my intelligence
a quest for logic and reason
for intricacy
in conversation and thought
yet a most stubborn handicap
debilitating
unable to communicate
with simplicity
or jovial demeanour
colour, concealed
under a veil of seriousness
and pragmatism

an existence
that yearns for love and meaning
of warmth
yet drifts towards a crisp cold
an eternal orbit
around nothingness
with infinite escape velocity

a mind
that never rests
never sleeps
dancing
within the recesses
of worry and fear
an enemy, assailant
eternally present
wholly from within
Depression?

This is a very heart felt and sad poem.. :frown: I hope you seek the help you need.

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Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I wrote this whilst in the library and going through a lot point, listening to slow piano music.


Are you able to read through and pick out what I may be suffering from?

Curious to know.

Struggles of mind

held back
half the person i could be
unable to smile
disabled
restricted
like there is little hope
lonelines
yet surrounded by humans

tiredness, fatigue
the fear
anxiety
sense of inadequacy
exhaustion
like i have no voice
but one weak and quivering
at any foresight of danger
no energy
my battles aren't equal
to those who suffer the same
my battles are my own
deeper, more substantial
difficult to break through
these shoes
bound to my feet
forever mine or empty
insurpassable
a challenge
insurmountable

a thousand attempts
at pushing my spirit
but no progress
only transient, restored
by the calm stability
of emptiness
a flat line
no pulse
no trajectory
the horizon, merely
an extrusion of this reality
through the axis of time


my intelligence
a quest for logic and reason
for intricacy
in conversation and thought

yet a most stubborn handicap
debilitating
unable to communicate
with simplicity
or jovial demeanour
colour, concealed
under a veil of seriousness
and pragmatism

an existence
that yearns for love and meaning
of warmth
yet drifts towards a crisp cold

an eternal orbit
around nothingness
with infinite escape velocity

a mind
that never rests
never sleeps

dancing
within the recesses
of worry and fear
an enemy, assailant
eternally present
wholly from within


Aspergers
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 3
Just to clarify - I don't know myself. I have a feel that I do suffer a mental illness, but I haven't been formally diagnosed.

Depression - this is a possibility.

Aspergers - this is also a possibility. but I think I have way too much empathy and ability to read people for this to be the case?
I don't think it's wise to be psychologically diagnosed on a student forum.

It seems like there's a lot of stuff going on in your mind. Try to make sense of it slowly and that should help you articulate your feelings and thoughts better and allow you to write a more coherent poem. We can only speculate from your poem but at this stage, it's fragments of your mind which will only make sense to you.

I think you need someone to talk to. Maybe a specialist, a close friend or family member or someone anonymous online. Whoever it is, they should listen to you and you should be able to confide in them.
Reply 5
Original post by Quick-use
I don't think it's wise to be psychologically diagnosed on a student forum.

It seems like there's a lot of stuff going on in your mind. Try to make sense of it slowly and that should help you articulate your feelings and thoughts better and allow you to write a more coherent poem. We can only speculate from your poem but at this stage, it's fragments of your mind which will only make sense to you.

I think you need someone to talk to. Maybe a specialist, a close friend or family member or someone anonymous online. Whoever it is, they should listen to you and you should be able to confide in them.


Fair point

To be fair it isn't really a poem as such. The music I was listening to started making my feelings come out and I decided to just write them down.

I don't know who to confide in. I don't have family or friends who I am close enough to to feel comfortable confiding this stuff in. Most people see me as well accomplished and mentally robust.
You might be in a bad place right now but a) I highly doubt anyone here is a trained medic or counsellor b) If you do have a mental illness, nobody on here can give any practical help and c) it's pretty hard to diagnose anything from reading a poem. Coming from a student of English, here.
Go make an appointment with your GP and discuss properly with them any concerns you have about your mental or physical health. Best of luck.
No capital letters or punctuation? I'm going to go with dyslexic.
(edited 9 years ago)
Retardation.

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