The Student Room Group

How do you feel here?

How would you feel if the same person who loved you says he/she thought you like a sister/brother?

Like for so many years you were loving with your lover..then after many years when asking "Do you love me?" and they answer "I thought you as my sister or brother!"

What would you feel? What would be your reaction?
It's never happened to me but I'd no doubt be pretty upset, angry and hurt. Like not at them because they can't help but feel like that but idk just like in general because the guy i'd have feelings for would see me as a sister..
Reply 2
I've been 'brotherzoned' before. Trust me, it's a horrible feeling
You mean you were already in a relationship with them, or that you were just in love with them?
Anyway, depends on context, if it was a rejection of me wanting to be more than friends I'd be upset. If it was just generally, I'd feel a little weird, but also take it as a compliment - thinking of me as a sibling implies we're really close/lifelong friends etc.
Reply 4
Original post by joker12345
You mean you were already in a relationship with them, or that you were just in love with them?
Anyway, depends on context, if it was a rejection of me wanting to be more than friends I'd be upset. If it was just generally, I'd feel a little weird, but also take it as a compliment - thinking of me as a sibling implies we're really close/lifelong friends etc.


I was in a relationship with him.
Reply 5
Original post by joker12345
You mean you were already in a relationship with them, or that you were just in love with them?
Anyway, depends on context, if it was a rejection of me wanting to be more than friends I'd be upset. If it was just generally, I'd feel a little weird, but also take it as a compliment - thinking of me as a sibling implies we're really close/lifelong friends etc.


Original post by UWS
I've been 'brotherzoned' before. Trust me, it's a horrible feeling


Original post by Safiya122
It's never happened to me but I'd no doubt be pretty upset, angry and hurt. Like not at them because they can't help but feel like that but idk just like in general because the guy i'd have feelings for would see me as a sister..


Guys, I'm sure he still loves me though he's married. I do not want to do anything but, want to gift something which will be with him forever. So, he can keep it and have it with him wherever he goes. What is the best gift which he will keep in his mind reminded about me and which he can take everywhere with him without his wife's knowledge he is having my gift. So, they won't get a negative opinion. Please help me. I want to gift him something. Then only i will feel relieved.:sadnod: Please help me.

The thing is as I work as an auditor my salary is damn low. I want to gift him something he will love and take everywhere with him every single day. What is the best gift guys?? I'm sure you guys will know as you are males if you are:smile:
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Sena5
Guys, I'm sure he still loves me though he's married. I do not want to do anything but, want to gift something which will be with him forever. So, he can keep it and have it with him wherever he goes. What is the best gift which he will keep in his mind reminded about me and which he can take everywhere with him without his wife's knowledge he is having my gift. So, they won't get a negative opinion. Please help me. I want to gift him something. Then only i will feel relieved.:sadnod: Please help me.

The thing is as I work as an auditor my salary is damn low. I want to gift him something he will love and take everywhere with him every single day. What is the best gift guys?? I'm sure you guys will know as you are males if you are:smile:


Stay away from him! Don't give him a gift, he's a married man. I want you to imagine you are in his wife's situation... not nice is it? I bet you wouldn't like it if someone gave your husband a present when you get married. Cut contact with him, delete and block his number and on Facebook.
Original post by Sena5
How would you feel if the same person who loved you says he/she thought you like a sister/brother?

Like for so many years you were loving with your lover..then after many years when asking "Do you love me?" and they answer "I thought you as my sister or brother!"

What would you feel? What would be your reaction?


To me that's a flat out sign of not wanting a relationship. That may be because it seems to be the line all Christians jot out to make them rejecting someone sound nicer.. :rolleyes:
Reply 8
Original post by kayleighisonfire
Stay away from him! Don't give him a gift, he's a married man. I want you to imagine you are in his wife's situation... not nice is it? I bet you wouldn't like it if someone gave your husband a present when you get married. Cut contact with him, delete and block his number and on Facebook.


Giving a gift is not a problem.
Choosing the right gift is what is important!
I chose to gift him a "Happy Married Life" card and some cash..so he and his wife can buy whatever they want and be happy :smile:
Original post by Sena5
Giving a gift is not a problem.
Choosing the right gift is what is important!
I chose to gift him a "Happy Married Life" card and some cash..so he and his wife can buy whatever they want and be happy :smile:


I still think you should have left it and not have given him something.
Reply 10
Original post by kayleighisonfire
I still think you should have left it and not have given him something.


Whatever it is, he is my cousin , a family relation.
It won't be nice to keep him aside. What will others think of him and I? It's also a way of ruining both our lives :sadnod:
I want him to live happily ever after with his wife and have no guilty feelings and also I do not wish to spoil his life.
I want to live my life also happily with myself and my mother and sisters. That's all I have. I shall look after and love my future husband as much as I loved my cousin. I would pour out the love I had for my cousin to my husband. I would love my husband and respect his feelings. I do not want to hurt him or my cousin or any person.

If I have another birth, I pray god that my cousin should not be my cousin in the next birth but, he and I should meet, love and marry and live together for long. Actually he does love me, and he restricts himself as he knows he is married and never had any negative intention and didn't even take any chance. He is a good soul. Loving a human being is not bad. He and I are cousins. That is the mistake god has made. But luckily atleast I am in his family as cousin which in someway I have done good, I can always get to know how he is. I pray every single moment.

I guess in my previous birth he has been loving me and I have always rejected him. Which is what now in this birth I am suffering. Therefore, I will suffer now and wait till the golden moment of my next birth. :smile:
We can speak and be happy like normal ppl. Nothing has happened so far. I do not want to keep away an innocent person. He loves me but, keeps his feelings in his heart. Even when I previously asked before his marriage, "You will come to me, right?" He answered no. He knows what is happening and so he said no.Only thing is, I wasn't aware that he had a girl-friend there at uni and I didn't believe when ppl said he's gonna marry. I was thinking he was going to marry me. I suffered alot. I agree but, he did good to me. He didn't have any wrong intentions.:no:
(edited 9 years ago)

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