This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Is Paying For Sex Immoral,Are Men That Do It Losers?

I'm not going to speak of morality because it's going to differ for all people.

What I will say is that I don't think those who do it are losers. I'd say it's merely a more efficient way of getting what you want. You can either pay for sex or spend weeks buying drinks for women in the hope of getting lucky. I'd always choose the former if all I wanted was sex.

Exactly, it has far more honesty to it than women who are blatant gold diggers, and would claim that prostitutes are scum.

Reply 21

matthewduncan

OP

12

Original post by Fizzel

No reason why its immoral, unless you have some hang up on sex.

People pay for sex all the time. You'll rarely see a rich guy without a hot girl, they are just paying for it in cars, clothes and general lifestyle. Happens in work places with promotions, bars with free drinks, those are just hoping they can exchange financial favours for sex.

I've never understood the idea of it being sad either, not when you consider the usual efforts men will go to in clubs and bars. Spending your time off work and weeks pay trawling round bars and clubs, hoping to find some randomer (statistically speaking probably an average looking fat girl) who is sufficiently intoxicated they are willing to accept a few mins of drunken sex. Half these guys after hours of pleading for a girl's approval, strike out, grab a kebab and have a **** before bed.

Totally disagree with this analogy.
You cant compare paying for sex to paying for your womans lifestyle.
If im living the highlife and im looking hot I expect my woman to as well and i will gladly pay for her too look like she does.

Reply 22

miser

20

Original post by Sulpha

Paying for sex isn't illegal in the UK so I don't know why you're bringing the law into it.

I think there is some vagueity in the law in this area but as I understand it prostitution as a business is illegal. Please correct me if this is incorrect though.

Original post by Sulpha

And your first statement is partially correct, a large amount of people do visit prostitutes through difficulty obtaining it the traditional way but just as many people from the average Joe to powerful businessmen visit them as well even when they know they could go out and get it if they wanted to. Paying for sex with someone who knows what they're doing, is attractive to you and will leave afterwards is merely just convenience. It's the convenience that appeals to most of these people.

People who visit prostitutes not as a result of not being able to obtain sex the traditional way wouldn't be failures (at least not in the same sense as outlined in my previous post).

I don't have any figures on who visits prostitutes and why so I won't argue numbers.

Reply 23

matthewduncan

OP

12

Original post by Vixen47

No and no

Wait until you start earning a hell of a lot of money before you make up your mind.

The most unlikely people in the world do it. It's surprising who does it and for what reason. Some people just want to try out their fantasies. Other people might not be getting any from their SOs and if they don't want to leave their SO then it's just easier to have sex with a professional who won't think twice about the sex and won't get attached to the client because "what happens in the hour stays in the hour". Once your hour's up, the provider goes back to his/her life, as does the client. One of the most common client type is the really successful business guy/city worker kind of guy who doesn't have time for a relationship. They don't have the time to deal with someone who might require a lot of time so it's just easier for them to hire a girl whenever they need for however long they need.

If you go to high end girls (or guys) then you're unlikely to get an STD. Some providers and clients keep proof òf when they were last tested. They do have personal lives too - it's only the low end type or Pretty Woman street walker type who is more than likely to have a disease.

very informative but still disagree with me ever stooping so low.
It will not happen.
/
Have you done escorting yourself no offence you seem to know a lot?

Reply 24

trustmeimlying1

20

Original post by SophieSmall

Not immoral so long as:
- The man (or woman) isn't cheating on someone
- Both parties consent and no one is being coerced or forced into prostitution
- Good measures are taken in safe sex to prevent the spread of STDs

and the loser part:?
its not often you dont hear girls mope on about:?

personally its not for me.the morals of it..generally many are in compromised positions as prostitutes so I reckon its dodge in that regard.but what you speak of above...a woman whos fully consenting with choice then yeh its okay(although in reality there is hard to find)

besides in both cases it attracts a certain sort..but yeh even my "friends" have been to a few so its common alright

Original post by Fizzel

No reason why its immoral, unless you have some hang up on sex.

People pay for sex all the time. You'll rarely see a rich guy without a hot girl, they are just paying for it in cars, clothes and general lifestyle. Happens in work places with promotions, bars with free drinks, those are just hoping they can exchange financial favours for sex.

I've never understood the idea of it being sad either, not when you consider the usual efforts men will go to in clubs and bars. Spending your time off work and weeks pay trawling round bars and clubs, hoping to find some randomer (statistically speaking probably an average looking fat girl) who is sufficiently intoxicated they are willing to accept a few mins of drunken sex. Half these guys after hours of pleading for a girl's approval, strike out, grab a kebab and have a **** before bed.

hahah so true.

Reply 25

miser

20

Original post by Sulpha

It's actually not illegal to pay for sex in the UK. Hence the whole debate fairly recently about criminalising it for the buyers but not the sellers. There are certain scenarios surrounding the act which are illegal however, such as curb crawling, visiting a location with more than one worker (like a parlour) and few other ones which I forget.

However, if a worker is living independently and has paying visitors, it's not illegal.

Thanks for explaining. I withdraw the aspects of my argument relating to men having to go outside the law.

Reply 26

username1315644

17

Original post by Foo.mp3

No-one will ever convince me that objectification of people/commercialisation of intimate sexual acts is "good" (or right), and few sensible, upstanding, educated people of sound mind, body and soul from decent backgrounds would argue otherwise either

Thats generally not a good way to start a debate. Its an almost religious position on an issue. No one can convince me I am wrong and if they are they must lack either intelligence or have character flaws. Using terms like upstanding and of sound mind body and soul? Utterly arbitrary, the kind of thing people used to say about people who approved of homosexuality.

An acid test of the NIMBY faux-liberal on these matters is to ask yourself, truly, if it would bother you that e.g. your mother, sister, daughter, childhood sweetheart, or girlfriend(s) past or present, was involved in prostitution. I can guarantee you that the majority of those whom post here saying 'not immoral/it's fine' will/would have just such a problem, if they were truly honest with themselves :rolleyes:

This is also a poor test, most men in general have latent issue with females they care about having sex and they perceive being used in someway or another, a issue we also do not apply to men. How would you feel about your mother or sister having sex with multiple men every day/night for her own pleasure? If people found out their brother such was having sex with women and earning £100k a year doing it I doubt the same feelings would arise. Its more an issue we have connected to gender and how we value women rather than the sale of sex.

Original post by matthewduncan

Totally disagree with this analogy.
You cant compare paying for sex to paying for your womans lifestyle.

Of course you can. You're making up a deficit in either scenario. In one case the things you lack are made up for in cash, the other in life style. Its just an informal sugar baby sugar daddy scenario, which again is a slightly less formal version of straight up paying for sex.

Original post by miser

I think there is some vagueity in the law in this area but as I understand it prostitution as a business is illegal. Please correct me if this is incorrect though.

Its legal, illegality comes from curb crawling, brothels and known trafficked women. There a various issue regarding how you actually do this without breaking the law but the internet has solved most of them, how do you operate an escorting service without being a pimp? How do you run a professional premises without it being a brothel?

Reply 27

JamesManc

15

I am a male prostitute

Reply 28

unprinted

19

Original post by matthewduncan

Never seen the hype of giving your hard earned money to something that has been ran through so many times and possibly has a disease but thats just me.

Very high levels of condom use (and the way that getting an STI is bad for business mean that levels of STIs in escorts are low.

You might also want to look at your prejudice about people who've had more partners than you...

Original post by Vixen47

The most unlikely people in the world do it. It's surprising who does it and for what reason. Some people just want to try out their fantasies.

.. like wanting variety or to try something with a non-judgemental partner or..

Original post by matthewduncan

One form is. Curb crawling

That's not paying for sex. Until relatively recently, men looking for other male partners were at risk of 'importuning' - what the line "And if you smile, you break the law" from one of the early Pet Shop Boys hits is referring to - for doing the same thing as soliciting without any money being involved.

Reply 29

SophieSmall

21

Original post by trustmeimlying1

and the loser part:?
its not often you dont hear girls mope on about:?

personally its not for me.the morals of it..generally many are in compromised positions as prostitutes so I reckon its dodge in that regard.but what you speak of above...a woman whos fully consenting with choice then yeh its okay(although in reality there is hard to find)

besides in both cases it attracts a certain sort..but yeh even my "friends" have been to a few so its common alright

hahah so true.

Oh yes I didn't mention the loser part.

Hmm well, I don't know whether I'd definitely see them as a loser. But I would be likely to make assumptions about them such as that they may have a bad attitude towards women, sex and relationships and they likely struggle with romantic connections. Though I'd realise this would not always be the case.

Reply 30

unprinted

19

Original post by Sulpha

It's actually not illegal to pay for sex in the UK. Hence the whole debate fairly recently about criminalising it for the buyers but not the sellers. There are certain scenarios surrounding the act which are illegal however, such as curb crawling, visiting a location with more than one worker (like a parlour) and few other ones which I forget.

Not quite.

It's legal to work in or visit a brothel - anywhere where more than one person is offering sex, regardless of whether it's at the same time or (thanks to a classic bit of 1920s class discrimination) whether any money is being charged.* It's illegal to own, operate or allow someone else to operate one.

'Controlling prostitution for gain' is the other big illegal bit. As that doesn't need to involve chains or unwilling people or anything else the antis go on about, it catches people running (but again, not using) agencies.

It's also illegal to pay for otherwise legal sex with someone who's 16 or 17 (they don't commit an offence by charging...)

There have been hardly any (none?) prosecutions for the paying for sex with someone 'subject to force' - it's gesture politics.

* Yes, this means most students probably live in a brothel. Places like gay saunas and other 'sex on the premises' venues are also brothels.

Reply 31

username1315644

17

Original post by Foo.mp3

Homosexuality may be distasteful to some but cannot be helped, prostitution most certainly can be (excepting extreme cases)

I don't think that. However perhaps you think we should go down the Middle Eastern Islamic route, just acknowledge that its immoral and should not be promoted or allowed in society, they don't have to act upon their urges.

A degree of truth in this, for sure, although it doesn't negate the point made, nor was the point made limited to male sentimentality in this regard

If there is a degree of true its does go towards negating the point. Emotional feeling, that cannot be logically explained have no place in the discussion.

We do e.g. when it comes to young males being exploited by older men and women. However, even if one removes notional exploitation (and we are magically convinced that the female is fully empowered in such a scenario), it remains distasteful to most of us (with the abovenoted personal qualities) whom are being real with ourselves

Young as in under age, I've never heard of someone being concerned by a guy being some women's toy boy. No one has the same hang up on male promiscuity. 16 year old guy walking in to his fathers poker game and declaring he just lost his virginity, compared to a 16 year old girl doing the same.

My mum went a bit nuts when she separated from my father. It was strange at first but I ended up being quite philosophical about it, just as long as she was safe :smile:

My sister, I couldn’t care less about, plus she’s one of these uptight feminazi types

The point being how you feel is a **** test of logic. I have negative feelings towards my sister and her boyfriend, because I think highly of my sis and not very highly of her choices in men, it has zero bearing on the morality of the issue. Men often have issue with their daughters having sex at all, its not a morality based thing. NIMBY in this sense is just people acknowledging their feeling are not rational, and are based in their own prejudices.

Correct, ‘a woman’s body is a temple’; although one would still feel a little funny about it/prefer them to do something else/have concerns regarding their reputation and future prospects etc

Those are legitimate reasons that most people would not want anyone exposed to, however if you argument is based on solid it shouldn't change based on who is buying or selling.

I see SD arrangements as a lesser evil, but still not very healthy, unless broader balance/value creeps into the relationship

They are the same, they just aren't as cold. Its like differentiating between paying and escort for straight sex, and wanting a girlfriend experience. It boils down to, someone is getting paid to engage in sex.

So is alcohol. Both are poisonous on both personal and societal levels

I'd disagree again. Nothing poisonous about having a glass of red wine with a meal. Getting smashed and causing criminal damage then perhaps. But that is is a deeper discussion, its like comparing sex with a Thai village girl to sex with a £10k a night high class Ivy League grad escort. There are issues with one that don't arise with the other, hence its not an intrinsic problem, and we based our laws as such rather than blanket the issue.

Reply 32

username193837

17

Original post by matthewduncan

Never seen the hype of giving your hard earned money to something that has been ran through so many times and possibly has a disease but thats just me.
What is your stance on this?
Is it immoral to pay for sex?
ladies get involved in this debate as well

Men that pay for sex are not losers, most girls in real life don't even know how perform oral sex, take it hard and want you to use a condom. That sucks if you want to have good sex like in porn then do a prostitute.

Reply 33

matthewduncan

OP

12

Original post by Sulpha

Curb crawling isn't a form of sex. Curb crawling is curb crawling. The actual act of paying for sex is not illegal

The majority of sex workers and escorts operate out of their own private flats and their isn't anything illegal about it.

So realistically they are arrested for paying for sex lol.
Come on geeze.
We know full well curb crawling leads to paying for sex.
You might as well call a spade a spade

Reply 34

e aí rapaz

16

The morality of the issue for me would be based upon whether your actions are bringing happiness vs suffering to another person. I would guess that in 99% of cases, you're at least in part contributing to a situation that is born out of and/or revolves around somebody's personal suffering, so yes, I'd say it's almost always immoral.

Are people who pay for sex losers? I would say that they are people who are making bad decisions in their life and aren't entirely content.

Reply 35

natninja

21

Wouldn't say it's objectively immoral though the fact that it does happen can cause dangerous working conditions which would bring a different context into it which may consist of immoral things such as human trafficking....

IMHO why pay for something you can get for free?

Reply 36

Tillybanksy

I think it's wrong and degrading for the woman and the mental impact that it may bring her later on in life thinking that her body has a price tag.

Reply 37

username1315644

17

Original post by e aí rapaz

The morality of the issue for me would be based upon whether your actions are bringing happiness vs suffering to another person. I would guess that in 99% of cases, you're at least in part contributing to a situation that is born out of and/or revolves around somebody's personal suffering, so yes, I'd say it's almost always immoral.

That is just capitalism really. Having someone do something they otherwise wouldn't do, and don't enjoy doing because they are in need of finance is exploitative but pretty much how the world works, you think how many times you are having fun and the people working probably aren't. I think it like anything else is dependant upon how much choice the person actually has. I wrote in a reply earlier, a Thai village girl and a 10k a night high class Ivy league grad escort.

Original post by natninja

IMHO why pay for something you can get for free?

Why do you go to a restaurant or order take away when you could cook? Similar reasons probably apply.

Reply 38

e aí rapaz

16

Original post by Fizzel

That is just capitalism really. Having someone do something they otherwise wouldn't do, and don't enjoy doing because they are in need of finance is exploitative but pretty much how the world works, you think how many times you are having fun and the people working probably aren't. I think it like anything else is dependant upon how much choice the person actually has. I wrote in a reply earlier, a Thai village girl and a 10k a night high class Ivy league grad escort.

I'd say I would be contributing significantly more to a persons/peoples suffering through partaking in the sex trade than I do when I pay people for other services.

I don't think it's worth debating "high class" escorts because a) they're the tiny minority and anyone who thinks otherwise is buying into a myth that gets pedalled to make people feel better, and b) I still don't think most of them are happy or would do what they do if they were truly aware of the roots of their decisions and actions.