Ok, well my calamitous event happened this summer. First, let me set the scene.
At 18 decided I wanted to study medicine and made a tough decision to start my A levels at 19. The way my college did exams was to sit most, if not all, of the units in the final year of study.
I thought that I should try and do all the AS modules in at least one subject, to avoid too much workload and pressure building up in my final year.
Despite not having been taught the 2nd AS unit in physics at all, it was my best subject, and so I independently asked the school if I could sit paper by myself.
I thus worked solidly for a week, and despite scoring well in practise papers, in the actual unit 2 exam I scored (for me), a poor score of 94/120 UMS (high B), but did well in the other modules (110/120 - unit 1, 59/60 - unit 3).
No matter.
Physics was my best subject, and at the end of the day I had learnt the unit from scratch by myself in a week, performed badly on exam day, and still achieved a high B. I was continually improving, had a nice buffer of AS UMS marks for that A grade, and I was aiming for that A* that the 'better' medical schools want.
The possibility that I wouldn't get an A overall didn't even cross my mind.
Cut to the following summer.
I decided against re-sitting the unit 2 physics module because every possible indicator throughout that year showed there was no risk of me getting a B overall, and was on track for A*. AS marks don't go towards A*, and so I just got on with preparing for the A2 units.
I prepared more for my first A2 physics exam (unit 4) more than I have ever prepared for an exam, and perhaps ever will do.
I scrupulously dissected the physics book from cover to cover, answered all the questions, and sat every past paper available... twice.
Cut to the exam.
Turn the page, and I start at the first question, which was allocated a lot of marks... and for some reason, I just can't seem to come to an answer I'm satisfied with. I know I'm close to getting it right and getting all the marks, but I'm just getting this ONE thing wrong. This weird pressure gradually fills my mind and starts pushing against the inside of my skull, and my thoughts become disorganised. I just can't get it, but it seems so close? What am I doing wrong..? Time goes by, I look at my watch, and my heart sinks.. I've taken far too long on this, and so I rustle up and move on. At this point, I realised the paper isn't going well, and I have a time debt to pay to the other questions. I start to rush, and things go from bad to worse. My hands start sweating, and I have difficulty with the second question. At this point I go into full panic, smash and grab mode, rushing through the questions without diligence or organised thought.
I come out of my exam distraught. I couldn't believe it. It was the worst exam performance I have ever given in practice or for real. My A* was certainly over, my A overall on the brink of destruction, and therefore my future on medicine was literally hanging in the balance. There was little chance of me getting in to med school as a mature student who took three years to complete A levels, so I had to perform and get it right first time...
As everything rested on my final Physics exam, unit 5, the pressure I felt was unreal. The weeks zipped past, I didn't focus on my other exams, and thus in my mind relinquished the prospect of getting A*'s in the other subjects. I was in tatters, putting everything I had into preparing. I figured I absolutely had to achieve a high A or A* in unit 5 in order to get an A overall... Sod getting in to a 'better' med school, I just wanted to study medicine!
Cut to exam day of unit 5
I knew that this exam was possibly the most important exam I would ever have to sit. I had prepared hard, it was my best unit, but I absolutely MUST perform.
I get into the exam, and it starts to go well. My thoughts feel well oiled, and I flow through the 1st paper with good pace and rhythm. I get onto the second paper, and find it a little harder. Still, I complete the final essay, and, unusually, I have time to go back over the paper.
We are dismissed, and I breathe a sigh of relief... Yeah, that had gone well, but it was still going to be touch and go.
And heres where it happened folks. Something that I've never done, nor will I think it will ever happen again.
I'm there chatting with my mates about the exam, I'm feeling decent, until one chap perked up "Ah yeah and what did you think about the relativity question...?"
My heart went cold.
'Err... What relativity question?' - I asked, disbelief in my voice
"You know, the one after the essay at the end?"
At this point, everything seemed to go black and white and I immediately walked away from the group without another word. I couldn't revise for the remaining A2 exams. I had literally just wasted 2 years of my life... Because I hadn't turned a ******* page, and missed an entire ******* question worth a decent proportion of the marks. Everything about the exam seemed over, and the format was deceiving and unconventional, but still. I had completely messed up, and I was in bits.
Everyone assured me that I must get an A. They saw me in class get A* after A* in the mocks, but they just didn't understand.
The ensuing months I literally had an existential crises, it was a really weird time. I couldn't believe I pissed away my dream of becoming a doctor. Maybe I didn't deserve it.
Well, it all seems a bit funny now, lol, but such is life. Sorry for the essay, I love writing