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Graduating soon and I'm in a relationship

Hello,

Would like some advice on what to do.

I'm graduating soon and plan on moving back home. My girlfriend is also graduating and she plans on moving back home.

What do I do?

I want to still be with her, I was thinking to ask if she wanted to move in with me (I live with my uncle), but our relationship is still premature… Any thoughts welcomed

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Are your homes... far apart?
Well if you can see your relationship being a long term thing then I suggest you do an LDR for a while, with the view that in a year or two one of you might move to be closer to the other.
Original post by pinkbullets
Well if you can see your relationship being a long term thing then I suggest you do an LDR for a while, with the view that in a year or two one of you might move to be closer to the other.

If you're asking them to wait a year or two, the relationship will fail. Most LDRs fail.
Original post by tehFrance
If you're asking them to wait a year or two, the relationship will fail. Most LDRs fail.


If their relationship isn't strong enough to survive a year of having to make a bit of an effort to see each other, then they certainly shouldn't be moving in together right now. You don't move in with someone because it's convenient for you - you do it because you want to share your life with that person.

Yes most LDRs fail, but not all. I've been in a one for two and a half years now and we're doing fine.
Premature? What does that mean?
Why don't you move out together?

Or do a gap year together?
How long have you been together?
Life requires sacrifices, and not all relationships last for a certain amount of time one desires.
But you can make it last for longer OP.. :biggrin:
Move out together if the love for another is great so nothing can interfere with your passions and love for one another.
Reply 9
Thanks for your inputs people. I spoke to her and I decided that it is way too soon for us to be living together. I don't believe LDR's work, so I think its for the best we enjoy our time together now and end it once the time comes.
Why don't you just end it now? Save the hassle?
Because you are not living together, does that mean the relationship must come to an end? :confused:
Original post by nb2508
Thanks for your inputs people. I spoke to her and I decided that it is way too soon for us to be living together. I don't believe LDR's work, so I think its for the best we enjoy our time together now and end it once the time comes.


That's an odd conclusion. Why be in a relationship that's definitely ending in the near future, may as well just end it now.
Why are the only options living together or break up? Can you not both move close to one another but not live together? Or just do a long distance thing for a while, if you're serious a year apart shouldn't be too hard (I'm assuming you're within visiting distance of each other).

This has happened to me twice, first time the relationship was pretty new (couple of months) but we ended up breaking up about 8 months down the line because our lives were going in separate directions. This time round we had already been together quite a while and my plan has always been to move back to where he lives, things haven't quite worked out and although I'm closer than if I had stayed at home we're still 3 hours apart. It's going OK for now, it's hard being apart but if you know it's only temporary then it's not so bad. Just have to make the most of the time you do spend together. This is life, it's rare that you'll always end up in the same place your partner does, I know loads of couples who've had years apart in their relationship (my own parents included, my dad lived abroad for 2 years and my mum stayed in England.)
That's a bit strange, I can understand you thinking it's a bit too soon to live together (although, in some ways you only truly know someone after you start living with them haha :giggle:) but I mean, were you at the same university? If not, you were already at least somewhat long distance, so doing the same while at home for a bit until you're ready to move in together or make other plans wouldn't be that bad. Although it's up to you of course, just seems a bit of a shame to call time on it if you wanted to stay with her.
Reply 14
Original post by puddingbot
That's a bit strange, I can understand you thinking it's a bit too soon to live together (although, in some ways you only truly know someone after you start living with them haha :giggle:) but I mean, were you at the same university? If not, you were already at least somewhat long distance, so doing the same while at home for a bit until you're ready to move in together or make other plans wouldn't be that bad. Although it's up to you of course, just seems a bit of a shame to call time on it if you wanted to stay with her.




Original post by LavenderBlueSky88
Why are the only options living together or break up? Can you not both move close to one another but not live together? Or just do a long distance thing for a while, if you're serious a year apart shouldn't be too hard (I'm assuming you're within visiting distance of each other).

This has happened to me twice, first time the relationship was pretty new (couple of months) but we ended up breaking up about 8 months down the line because our lives were going in separate directions. This time round we had already been together quite a while and my plan has always been to move back to where he lives, things haven't quite worked out and although I'm closer than if I had stayed at home we're still 3 hours apart. It's going OK for now, it's hard being apart but if you know it's only temporary then it's not so bad. Just have to make the most of the time you do spend together. This is life, it's rare that you'll always end up in the same place your partner does, I know loads of couples who've had years apart in their relationship (my own parents included, my dad lived abroad for 2 years and my mum stayed in England.)


I don't know what to do. I'm taking the simplest way out because I don't know if this relationship will go smoothly. I don't want to be responsible if the relationship ends and one of us has moved towns to be with that person. Of course, we will still be friends and stay in touch, but as things are going, the relationship can't continue.
Original post by nb2508
Hello,

Would like some advice on what to do.

I'm graduating soon and plan on moving back home. My girlfriend is also graduating and she plans on moving back home.

What do I do?

I want to still be with her, I was thinking to ask if she wanted to move in with me (I live with my uncle), but our relationship is still premature… Any thoughts welcomed


Wow, seems like you've hit the a crossroad. This is what I've been thinking about for a while, if you're in Uni and you have a relationship with another student, you'll need to plan ahead for the scenarios for when Uni finishes and you both finish your degree. Think about this next time.

As for now, you guys have several options. One would be to move in together if you have enough resources such as money, time etc. You could do a long distance relationship but that's a whole new story which I'm sure you don't want to do or just end it.

Best thing would be to find a way to move in together. It's the best way to get to know her even more by taking a huge step.

Hope this helped.
Well it's obviously not true love, else you would both put in the effort, albeit it be a LDR.






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(edited 9 years ago)
You've ignored one obvious option.. staying put for a while. Make sure you both have at least a menial job before you finish (enough that you can carry on living there) and then just aim to get your graduate jobs in the same city.
Reply 18
Original post by nb2508
I don't know what to do. I'm taking the simplest way out because I don't know if this relationship will go smoothly. I don't want to be responsible if the relationship ends and one of us has moved towns to be with that person. Of course, we will still be friends and stay in touch, but as things are going, the relationship can't continue.


Simplest way out...easiest way out..

Good thing you end it so she can find an actual man not a little boy.
Reply 19
Original post by az08
Simplest way out...easiest way out..

Good thing you end it so she can find an actual man not a little boy.


Thank you, I needed someone to tell me exactly how it is.

I've been thinking and thinking for months and 100 scenarios are running through my head. But actually, since I started university she's the only girl I've wanted a relationship with so I'm going to try the LDR for a few months and work on getting a place of our own after I saved enough.

I read a great quote today because of you.

'Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.'Theodore Roosevelt

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