Scared of failing/ incredibly depressed
This could be quite lengthy
So in 2013 I started university about an hour away from home. It was clear from day one that I really hated it there. The course, my flat and the fact that I made no friends didn't help. I left in January this year. I decided to go on anti-depressants as I felt like my life had hit rock bottom and I couldn't cope. After a few months working and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, I decided to apply to university again and 'start fresh' if you like. I applied to a uni 4 hours away from me and got accepted. The main problems I am having is that no matter what I seem to do I just cannot get rid of this depression. I love my course so much (English Lit) and I feel that I have made the right choice with that. I have made lots of good friends but most of them go home every weekend and live half an hour away.
I am applying for a transfer for second year to move home and commute to the university that is an hour away from me on a train. I decided I wanted to do this sometime in October and have my mind fairly set on this. I know it sounds pathetic but I just want to get my degree now, without having the depression take over my life. Some days I have missed lectures and seminars because I've felt like a failure even though I'm doing okay. If I was at home I think I'd be better, as if I felt like I'd had a bad day at least I get to go home and chill, rather than come back to an empty place and sit and cry.
My main worry is if I fail second year. I have already had a 'mistake year' and I really don't want to fail at all. It hasn't bothered me up until late, where I've been lying in my bed thinking about it and now I'm really scared. I just dunno what to think. Has anyone else been in any similar situations? I'm trying to put the work in so I don't but I'm already lacking motivation to go in to uni, mainly because of my depression.
So in 2013 I started university about an hour away from home. It was clear from day one that I really hated it there. The course, my flat and the fact that I made no friends didn't help. I left in January this year. I decided to go on anti-depressants as I felt like my life had hit rock bottom and I couldn't cope. After a few months working and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, I decided to apply to university again and 'start fresh' if you like. I applied to a uni 4 hours away from me and got accepted. The main problems I am having is that no matter what I seem to do I just cannot get rid of this depression. I love my course so much (English Lit) and I feel that I have made the right choice with that. I have made lots of good friends but most of them go home every weekend and live half an hour away.
I am applying for a transfer for second year to move home and commute to the university that is an hour away from me on a train. I decided I wanted to do this sometime in October and have my mind fairly set on this. I know it sounds pathetic but I just want to get my degree now, without having the depression take over my life. Some days I have missed lectures and seminars because I've felt like a failure even though I'm doing okay. If I was at home I think I'd be better, as if I felt like I'd had a bad day at least I get to go home and chill, rather than come back to an empty place and sit and cry.
My main worry is if I fail second year. I have already had a 'mistake year' and I really don't want to fail at all. It hasn't bothered me up until late, where I've been lying in my bed thinking about it and now I'm really scared. I just dunno what to think. Has anyone else been in any similar situations? I'm trying to put the work in so I don't but I'm already lacking motivation to go in to uni, mainly because of my depression.
When were you last not depressed ?
What were the circumstances ? Surroundings ? environment ? people ?
What do you want to feel ?
What would help me accomplish that ?
What am I feeling now ? What am I thinking ? What do I want ?
Do you feel understood by people around you, or your university ?
What were the circumstances ? Surroundings ? environment ? people ?
What do you want to feel ?
What would help me accomplish that ?
What am I feeling now ? What am I thinking ? What do I want ?
Do you feel understood by people around you, or your university ?
Quick Reply
Latest
Last reply 1 minute ago
Official UCL Offer Holders Thread for 2024 entryLast reply 6 minutes ago
Official: Aston University A100 2024 Entry Applicant threadMedical Schools
1165
Last reply 21 minutes ago
Official University of Edinburgh Applicant Thread for 2024Last reply 24 minutes ago
what happens if i dont meet the requirements for my degree apprenticeship?Last reply 33 minutes ago
University of Oxford 2025 Undergraduate Applicants Official ThreadLast reply 43 minutes ago
Can I switch to a placement year on the same course?Last reply 1 hour ago
Even Europe’s far-right firebrands seem to sense Brexit is a disaster- The Guardian
