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Relationships; all determined by personal estimation?

How much are relationships determined by personal estimation of oneself? Is it possible to have ANY partner if one estimates themselves as equal or superior, or at least displays that front to the other person?

Reply 1

kam

10

Some relationships are a complete mystery.
Like women who just keep going back to men who think nothing of them and mistreat them.

Reply 2

naivesincerity

OP

2

kam

Some relationships are a complete mystery.
Like women who just keep going back to men who think nothing of them and mistreat them.

Ah, well, is that to do with personal estimation kam?

Reply 3

naivesincerity

OP

2

darkfairy753

I don't think it is. If one were to consider themself superior to someone else, it doesn't mean that they can have them.

Yeah, but does it sway the other persons perception?(and maybe equal, not necessarily superior)

Reply 4

kam

10

naivesincerity

Ah, well, is that to do with personal estimation kam?

It can be. Like some people feel that they can't be with anyone else, they don't think highly of themselves, so feel that they need to be with the person they're with, even if it means being mistreated.

Reply 5

naivesincerity

OP

2

darkfairy753

Personal estimation and how you appear initially to other people are different. In the short run, how you appear initially may influence their perception of you, but in the long run, you have to feel as if you're both on roughly equal grounds in order for a good relationship imo.

Yeah, but that means if you construct a belief that you're goiing to estimate yourself as equal to anyone, then ANY relationship is possible

Reply 6

naivesincerity

OP

2

darkfairy753

Theoretically yes, but as we know, you can't change the perception of yourself just like that when you meet someone of a different "level", whatever that is.

You could do though. You could just say; I'm going to estimate myself as anybody's equal. Devious I guess, mind games maybe.

Reply 7

puppy

naivesincerity

How much are relationships determined by personal estimation of oneself? Is it possible to have ANY partner if one estimates themselves as equal or superior, or at least displays that front to the other person?

Well I think I'm hideous and worthless but I still want a hot and perfect partner so go figure.

Reply 8

naivesincerity

OP

2

puppy

Well I think I'm hideous and worthless but I still want a hot and perfect partner so go figure.

You want one, but do you believe you can have one?

Reply 9

naivesincerity

OP

2

darkfairy753

Hmm... so anyone could think of themselves as some celebrity and automatically be able to get a celebrity boyfriend or girlfriend?

Well not think of themselves as a celebrity but estimate themselves as their equal, be suitably unimpressed. Now I will give you that may be harder to do in humble circumstances, but not impossible if the person is strong

Reply 10

puppy

naivesincerity

You want one, but do you believe you can have one?

Well I don't want an ugly one and I don't want to die alone so by the process of elimination, yes.

Reply 11

naivesincerity

OP

2

'night. It was more of a theoretical thing i was discussing though

Reply 12

grace

15

for me it's the other way around. i seem to be ruining my relationship because i feel like i'm so much 'less' than my partner and like he could never be happy with someone like me...it's really starting to completely destroy our relationship. So i can see how the opposite would be true as well, to an extent.

Reply 13

naivesincerity

OP

2

grace

for me it's the other way around. i seem to be ruining my relationship because i feel like i'm so much 'less' than my partner and like he could never be happy with someone like me....

So does he start to think you're too 'easy' to have?

Reply 14

grace

15

naivesincerity

So does he start to think you're too 'easy' to have?

i think we're past that, we have a really deep, serious relationship. If we were at the 'playing games' phase that might be an issue. Actually, all he wants is to make me happy but I'm just starting to push him away, an awful lot. aaaarrrgghhhh analysis on a saturday night, what have i become?!

Reply 15

Squelchy

Translation: do you believe in leagues?

Answer: no. I speak from personal experience. I am a pretty confident guy, I wouldn't say I'm a bad catch, but I had a girl after me once who is the sort that knocks back Premiership footballers because she's too good for them. Waaaaaaaaaay out of my league, in a big, big way, but she wanted me big time.

Then again, there are some people you will just NEVER get near, no matter what you think of yourself. Sure, how you percive yourself does affect how others perceive you, to an extent, but there are some people you will never be attracted to under any circumstances, even if they think they're James Bond or Jessica Alba. It's more to do with how others perceive you, and how you perceive yourself only influences that fractionally.

Reply 16

Ditting Suck

8

puppy

Well I think I'm hideous and worthless

FWIW, I think you are one of the best posters on this forum and one of the few reasons I read through the vast quantities of crap. But you probably don't judge worth by the opinions of Internet weirdos, so nevermind :smile:

Relationships; all determined by personal estimation?

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