I am 26 and have fallen in love. But, I'm terrified and end up speechless!?
I am 26. When I was 17 me and a girl became each others first loves. Like most first loves it ended soon, after four months of extreme intensity. 8 years later (recently) we found each other again, she had been in two relationships, one of them lasting a good five years and I had been in several. For the first time in about 8 years, I feel that I can truely love again. I felt I had liked certain girls a lot, and assumed I loved them, but compared to how much I feel for this girl in question, I didn't. I feel like a kid again, I feel like there is something truely magical in my life.
We decided to meet up at the pub for a coffee and chat after so long. This just confirmed to me everything. It felt like a rekindling of something so special, like we had found each other again. She is now a doctor and I am a post-graduate doctorates student (on a 6 year doctorates degree).
The main problem here is, I like her so much I overthink everything. For instance, she messages me on whatsapp, and I can't just reply easily, I don't know what to say, I want to say the right thing, I don't want to say the wrong thing and I end up speechless. I am usually a very confident guy but with her I feel like i fall to my knee's.
What can I do? It's very hard to be myself with her due to how I feel. If it were as easy as taking a breather and relaxing I would, infact thats what I try to do!
Would love to hear your opinions and help.
We decided to meet up at the pub for a coffee and chat after so long. This just confirmed to me everything. It felt like a rekindling of something so special, like we had found each other again. She is now a doctor and I am a post-graduate doctorates student (on a 6 year doctorates degree).
The main problem here is, I like her so much I overthink everything. For instance, she messages me on whatsapp, and I can't just reply easily, I don't know what to say, I want to say the right thing, I don't want to say the wrong thing and I end up speechless. I am usually a very confident guy but with her I feel like i fall to my knee's.
What can I do? It's very hard to be myself with her due to how I feel. If it were as easy as taking a breather and relaxing I would, infact thats what I try to do!
Would love to hear your opinions and help.
First of all you need to find out if she feels the same way about you as you do her.
Second (providing that she does) just relax, you obviously believe that this girl is the one, you've had her once, you can have her again.
Third and finally with regards to whatsapp, can you preview the message? If you can then do that before opening it up and think of a reply.
Second (providing that she does) just relax, you obviously believe that this girl is the one, you've had her once, you can have her again.
Third and finally with regards to whatsapp, can you preview the message? If you can then do that before opening it up and think of a reply.
Just be calm and treat her like your other exes, she's just a girl and not superior to you so don't worry in slipping up
Give some advice and not post nonsense like this...
Original post by Simply93
Awwwwwwwwwwwww :')
Give some advice and not post nonsense like this...
The coffee and chat confirmed it for you but what about her? I know it can be hard (nigh on impossible) to ascertain how another person feels - even more so when they aren't sure themselves - but you sound like you have got a good head screwed on those shoulders, just don't over think it 
This is so sweet. Try to chill and think of a response. As long as you're polite and genuine you can't go wrong
I think you're just infatuated. Her pussy has already been tampered with, so why go back there again? She's nothing more than used goods. There's too much history there, why go back in for a second try knowing that there's a risk of break up? Just try to find other women, keep your options open. Don't restrict yourself to just one person, especially considering the fact that you two have history. It's a recipe for disaster, a risk not worth taking. Invest your time and energy in chasing other women, there are plenty more fish in the sea. And don't restrict yourself to just one, always remember this golden rule. Don't get tied down, don't get involved in relationships. Just have sex with them then leave them. Sex deprivation causes men to start thinking about silly things like love and relationships, when in reality all they really need is pussy. So take my advice, forget about this and don't pursue it any further, it's not worth the effort and the inevitable pain and heartbreak. The relationship failed before, it will fail again.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by C_tinie_D
First of all you need to find out if she feels the same way about you as you do her.
Second (providing that she does) just relax, you obviously believe that this girl is the one, you've had her once, you can have her again.
Third and finally with regards to whatsapp, can you preview the message? If you can then do that before opening it up and think of a reply.
Second (providing that she does) just relax, you obviously believe that this girl is the one, you've had her once, you can have her again.
Third and finally with regards to whatsapp, can you preview the message? If you can then do that before opening it up and think of a reply.
Without going intot oo much detail about her - she is afraid of being close to people due to her past, OCD and borderline personality - she is afraid tremendously of being left. Saying this, over the years I have pieced together that she does like me but she gets quite anxious. She will occasioanlly come out with it and explain how much she does love me, but it's every now and again and she doesn't talk like that often (I am the opposite but I try to not say it too much).
With regards to whats app, I can preview the message yes when it's not too long. I think she has the same problem - we both are very similar in ways. She will read my messages and then not respond for a day or so... and then will message me saying something completely different. She has quite bad anxiety problems. But also, her not responding gets me very anxious myself - but she almost usually always does.
Also I must add, her not responding is often because she is so busy. She is a doctor, and for instance this week she is working 13 hours a day. This means we can't meet up for a while, but she still tries to come on whatsapp to talk a bit.
Original post by bittr n swt
Just be calm and treat her like your other exes, she's just a girl and not superior to you so don't worry in slipping up
Give some advice and not post nonsense like this...
Give some advice and not post nonsense like this...
Thank you, yes... when I feel like I do I kind of see her as more than just a girl, but in truth she isn't superior, I need to be given that objective realisation sometimes.
Original post by jaffacake111
The coffee and chat confirmed it for you but what about her? I know it can be hard (nigh on impossible) to ascertain how another person feels - even more so when they aren't sure themselves - but you sound like you have got a good head screwed on those shoulders, just don't over think it
She told me afterwards ''We'll see each other again really soon''. I asked her if she's free at the weekend and she said ''unfortunately this weekend is extremely busy, it's so frustrating sometimes, but when are you thinking because I'd love to see you again
x'' - and she'd send me various hearts and kisses by text.Original post by Anonymous
Without going intot oo much detail about her - she is afraid of being close to people due to her past, OCD and borderline personality - she is afraid tremendously of being left. Saying this, over the years I have pieced together that she does like me but she gets quite anxious. She will occasioanlly come out with it and explain how much she does love me, but it's every now and again and she doesn't talk like that often (I am the opposite but I try to not say it too much).
With regards to whats app, I can preview the message yes when it's not too long. I think she has the same problem - we both are very similar in ways. She will read my messages and then not respond for a day or so... and then will message me saying something completely different. She has quite bad anxiety problems. But also, her not responding gets me very anxious myself - but she almost usually always does.
Also I must add, her not responding is often because she is so busy. She is a doctor, and for instance this week she is working 13 hours a day. This means we can't meet up for a while, but she still tries to come on whatsapp to talk a bit.
With regards to whats app, I can preview the message yes when it's not too long. I think she has the same problem - we both are very similar in ways. She will read my messages and then not respond for a day or so... and then will message me saying something completely different. She has quite bad anxiety problems. But also, her not responding gets me very anxious myself - but she almost usually always does.
Also I must add, her not responding is often because she is so busy. She is a doctor, and for instance this week she is working 13 hours a day. This means we can't meet up for a while, but she still tries to come on whatsapp to talk a bit.
Have you met up since you both been single and interested in each other yet?
Original post by C_tinie_D
Have you met up since you both been single and interested in each other yet?
We met up last thursday, and yes, we were both single and interested. Afterwards she said ''well see each other again really soon''... and on facebook afterwards she said ''it was so nice to see you again and thankyou for coming to see me''. I asked if she wants to see each other at the weekend and she said ''Unfortuantely this weekend im really busy, but when are you thinking because Id love to see you again
''... during the week she's been working 11am-midnight every day, adn this weekend Im in London unfortunately. So since our last date we haven't seen each other. But she says she wants to.I spoke to a couple who are engaged (and the girl is a doctor) and he said that its difficult sometimes as they work so much and irregular hours.
She finds relationships in general very anxiety provoking (due to her past) and finds it hard to let people in emotionally - but me and her go back almost a decade - we would not still bet alking if something wasn't there..
After reading this thread, this describes exactly how I feel now. I really like this guy (we are both sixteen) and it has lasted a year now. I can't describe the feeling, but it is exactly like what you have said- magical. I get so nervous, (he is worse). I have to make the effort most of the time and it is always reciprocated He blushes bright red in class, sweats heavily and I get hot flushes, the palms of my hand sweat and I can't stop smiling. He recently admitted that he loves me and I feel off this planet. One piece of advice I can give you is don't let her go. Despite, my guy's mum being racist, he can't forget about me and it has been so painful for both of us, but the feeling is still as strong as it was in school. We are both in college together!
He blushes bright red in class, sweats heavily and I get hot flushes, the palms of my hand sweat and I can't stop smiling. He recently admitted that he loves me and I feel off this planet. One piece of advice I can give you is don't let her go. Despite, my guy's mum being racist, he can't forget about me and it has been so painful for both of us, but the feeling is still as strong as it was in school. We are both in college together!I thought I should update this briefly. We since met up again, but briefly for 10 - 15 minutes. Though those 15 minutes were a quality 15 minutes, worth hours sitting in a pub...
She needs to set time limits or know what is going to happen or her anxiety will get worse. In person she comes across as very positive, laughy and relaxed though in reality she has OCD, worries a lot etc.
Anyway, we met up and before leaving she gave me a kiss on the lips, and said ''That's all you're getting for now'' and then grinning and going red.
The whole thing makes me nervous too because I like her so much. I asked if she's free this weekend but she's not, and next weekend she is working (I'm not sure if thats true or not) but she told me ''Lets sort something out I Just need to check my rota as not sure what hours im doing xxx ''
She needs to set time limits or know what is going to happen or her anxiety will get worse. In person she comes across as very positive, laughy and relaxed though in reality she has OCD, worries a lot etc.
Anyway, we met up and before leaving she gave me a kiss on the lips, and said ''That's all you're getting for now'' and then grinning and going red.
The whole thing makes me nervous too because I like her so much. I asked if she's free this weekend but she's not, and next weekend she is working (I'm not sure if thats true or not) but she told me ''Lets sort something out
I Just need to check my rota as not sure what hours im doing xxx ''Original post by Anonymous
I thought I should update this briefly. We since met up again, but briefly for 10 - 15 minutes. Though those 15 minutes were a quality 15 minutes, worth hours sitting in a pub...
She needs to set time limits or know what is going to happen or her anxiety will get worse. In person she comes across as very positive, laughy and relaxed though in reality she has OCD, worries a lot etc.
Anyway, we met up and before leaving she gave me a kiss on the lips, and said ''That's all you're getting for now'' and then grinning and going red.
The whole thing makes me nervous too because I like her so much. I asked if she's free this weekend but she's not, and next weekend she is working (I'm not sure if thats true or not) but she told me ''Lets sort something out I Just need to check my rota as not sure what hours im doing xxx ''
She needs to set time limits or know what is going to happen or her anxiety will get worse. In person she comes across as very positive, laughy and relaxed though in reality she has OCD, worries a lot etc.
Anyway, we met up and before leaving she gave me a kiss on the lips, and said ''That's all you're getting for now'' and then grinning and going red.
The whole thing makes me nervous too because I like her so much. I asked if she's free this weekend but she's not, and next weekend she is working (I'm not sure if thats true or not) but she told me ''Lets sort something out
I Just need to check my rota as not sure what hours im doing xxx ''She went bright red, exactly how he reacts to me. It is really frustrating though because no one seems to understand the feeling because it is so rare. Good luck
I hope this isn't the same girl I like!
shes a doctor too
shes a doctor too
Original post by Adipoptosis
I hope this isn't the same girl I like!
shes a doctor too
shes a doctor too
Love triangle forming.
Posted from TSR Mobile
what the hell is the guy doing on the student room.... your 26 and you've said previously you've been in other relationships too.... grow a pair of balls dude
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