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A person who is "normal" dating someone who has an illness

Like learning dificulties
Or you know them people who are like 20 something years old but have the brains of 8 year olds.
Only asking cos i remember reading someone on here (cant remember the tread) saying that they dont agree with it because the person is probably trying to take advantage.
what are your views
(edited 9 years ago)

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Reply 1
Avatar for SkyT
SkyT
7
Why not? If you come along really great with that person it doesn't really matter if this person is smart or dumb. After all, I have met people who were not really educated or intelligent, but they had a great heart, which is in my opinion even more important. Just think about all those smart people who are cold-blooded, rational machines.
Reply 2
Avatar for Shadoo
Shadoo
12
Original post by SkyT
Why not? If you come along really great with that person it doesn't really matter if this person is smart or dumb. After all, I have met people who were not really educated or intelligent, but they had a great heart, which is in my opinion even more important. Just think about all those smart people who are cold-blooded, rational machines.


I like how you sneaked in rational in there.
Original post by matthewduncan
Like learning dificulties or is dumb.
Or you know them people who are like 20 something years old but have the brains of 8 year olds.
Only asking cos i remember reading someone on here (cant remember the tread) saying that they dont agree with it because the person is probably trying to take advantage.
what are your views


How old are you may I ask?


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Original post by _Charlotte15
How old are you may I ask?


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Completely off topic I know haha


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Original post by SkyT
Why not? If you come along really great with that person it doesn't really matter if this person is smart or dumb. After all, I have met people who were not really educated or intelligent, but they had a great heart, which is in my opinion even more important. Just think about all those smart people who are cold-blooded, rational machines.


im not talking about people who are uneducated or unintelligent im talking about people who are mentally disabled.
People who will always be that way.
Original post by _Charlotte15
How old are you may I ask?


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22
Everybody has a right to love, be loved and be in a relationship with whoever they wish.


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Original post by HBPrincess
Everybody has a right to love, be loved and be in a relationship with whoever they wish.


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That's not strictly true though is it?
Just found this on wiki.

Prevalence rates of sexual violence against people with intellectual disabilities are high when compared with the experience of the general population[citation needed].[1]:61 Whilst people with intellectual disabilities experience sexual violence in many of the same ways as the general population,[2][3]:73 they may encounter additional issues relating to their impairments and / or the social environments in which they live. These can include increased vulnerability, questions around ability to consent to sexual activities, differential treatment before the law, social attitudes about intellectual disability and sexuality, and restricted access to suitable support and recovery services.
Having a illness = not normal
Reply 11
Avatar for Shaffa
Shaffa
Original post by anonwinner
Having a illness = not normal


Why is it not normal? Just because somebody has an illness doesnt mean theyre not normal. Why should they be excluded and deemed as 'not normal' just because they have something they cant control. People who have any type of illness just want to fit in and be accepted like any 'normal' person would and who are you to judge what is normal and what isn't?

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Original post by Shaffa
Why is it not normal? Just because somebody has an illness doesnt mean theyre not normal. Why should they be excluded and deemed as 'not normal' just because they have something they cant control. People who have any type of illness just want to fit in and be accepted like any 'normal' person would and who are you to judge what is normal and what isn't?

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Um I was being sarcastic and making fun of the title of this thread: 'A person who is normal dating a person who has an illness'
Moved to philosophy, because it might start some good philosophical debate ie: Is a 20 year old, with an 8 year old's brain really 20 years old?etc..
Reply 14
Avatar for Shaffa
Shaffa
Original post by anonwinner
Um I was being sarcastic and making fun of the title of this thread: 'A person who is normal dating a person who has an illness'


Oh im sorry for ranting at you when i should really be ranting at the author of this forum for being insensitive. Please accept my apologies.

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Original post by The_Internet
Moved to philosophy, because it might start some good philosophical debate ie: Is a 20 year old, with an 8 year old's brain really 20 years old?etc..


Monsieur Mod, I believe this thread was, based off OP's thread history, not supposed to spark any civilised debate but merely demean people with learning disabilities; possibly attack people with autism and mental health problems too
Original post by matthewduncan
Just found this on wiki.

Prevalence rates of sexual violence against people with intellectual disabilities are high when compared with the experience of the general population[citation needed].[1]:61 Whilst people with intellectual disabilities experience sexual violence in many of the same ways as the general population,[2][3]:73 they may encounter additional issues relating to their impairments and / or the social environments in which they live. These can include increased vulnerability, questions around ability to consent to sexual activities, differential treatment before the law, social attitudes about intellectual disability and sexuality, and restricted access to suitable support and recovery services.


Fair but not everyone views disabled people as toys to play with we can't generalise
Original post by Smash Bandicoot
Monsieur Mod, I believe this thread was, based off OP's thread history, not supposed to spark any civilised debate but merely demean people with learning disabilities; possibly attack people with autism and mental health problems too


If it does, please report them :smile:
Original post by Shaffa
Why is it not normal? Just because somebody has an illness doesnt mean theyre not normal. Why should they be excluded and deemed as 'not normal' just because they have something they cant control. People who have any type of illness just want to fit in and be accepted like any 'normal' person would and who are you to judge what is normal and what isn't?

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But an illness by definition is a deviation from the norm, hence not normal. His wording was fine. I seriously doubt OP was trying to cause offence or anything by this. At least it doesn't read that way to me.
I think all friendships, including romantic ones should be based on reciprocity. If you are an absolute genius with an IQ of 160 you really are not going to get much out of a relationship with somebody who has an IQ of 60 are you and vice versa. Empathy is needed, it's really key in order to bring about trust.

I don't personally see why a none mentally-disabled person would want to enter a romantic relationship with a mentally disabled person other than for sex itself. If you want to care for them then you don't need to have sex with them...

Of course there is a very important problem with discussing this at all in that "mentally disabled" is not very clearly defined and comes in varying degrees. If someone has some particular mental illness like clinical depression or paedophilia or something else that is relatively trivial in terms of being unable to empathise with other "normal" people then I don't see a problem with the pair being romantically involved but as I said before if someone has more severe mental health problems it isn't clear to me how ethical entering into a sexual relationship with them is...

P.S Illness is actually defined as abnormality. Detrimental parts of the human make-up that are common such as flaws in our reasoning that are no longer useful in modern society are not considered illness purely because they are "normal".
(edited 9 years ago)

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