Facebook friend requesting too soon - have I scared him off?

Met a guy on Tinder and had two great dates. He texted me after the first to say he'd a great time and to check I had enjoyed it too; after the second, he was a bit drunk and suggested we go home together. I said 'not after the second date'. We mentioned meeting after Xmas and he texted the next day to say he'd a great night. He then started an irreverant text convo, and at the end of it I asked whether he was on FB so we could chat for free over the hols (I live abroad & am going home). He then replied asking if I had Whatsapp.

I'm worried now that I've scared him off, seeming too keen by asking for his FB. I genuinely hadn't thought of Whatsapp and was just trying to think of a cheaper way to stay in touch. I didn't realise FB was such a big step - other guys I've met on Tinder have sent me friend requests before we've even met, and someone else I was dating friend-ed me after just one date.

Have I scared him off, and if so is there anything I can do to rectify this?

He has a girlfriend.

OP

Original post by Huskaris

He has a girlfriend.

You really think so? There've been a fair few public displays of affection on our dates, surely he'd be too worried about being seen if he really did have a gf?

One of my female friends said she would wait to accept a friend request before she'd been on a few dates with someone she met on Tinder, until she was sure she liked him enough to let him into her life.

What does anyone else think?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Also, isn't Tinder pretty bloody risky if you have a girlf/boyf? I.e. the chances of a friend or contact seeing you on there and telling your partner must be pretty high.

Reply 4

username1003420

20

I doubt he has a gf, he probably just doesn't use fb much (I don't) so he probably thought talking on whatsapp would be better.

Reply 5

Reue

20

Original post by Huskaris

He has a girlfriend.

This was my initial thought

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by tammie123

I doubt he has a gf, he probably just doesn't use fb much (I don't) so he probably thought talking on whatsapp would be better.

Hmm, well that's what I first thought. But the fact he didn't explicitly say he doesn't use FB much makes me think he does use it and for some reason doesn't want me to see it: either because he has something to hide or (& this I think is more perhaps more likely) because he thinks it's too much of an 'intimate' step after only a second date.

Reply 7

username1003420

20

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm, well that's what I first thought. But the fact he didn't explicitly say he doesn't use FB much makes me think he does use it and for some reason doesn't want me to see it: either because he has something to hide or (& this I think is more perhaps more likely) because he thinks it's too much of an 'intimate' step after only a second date.

You're over thinking this, just because he doesn't explicitly say it, it doesn't means that's not the case. As for the hiding thing, that could be true, but I really doubt it's the gf thing. Maybe you should just ask him, not now but after a few more dates

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by tammie123

You're over thinking this, just because he doesn't explicitly say it, it doesn't means that's not the case. As for the hiding thing, that could be true, but I really doubt it's the gf thing. Maybe you should just ask him, not now but after a few more dates

Thanks for your response, I'm sure you're right! I do have a massive tendency to overthink things. :smile:

Reply 9

Inazuma

20

Whatsapp update better to my phone than messenger so that could be it. Also the chances of a FB friend getting a reply is waaay lower than someone I have on Whatsapp.
Could be a weird reason like so.

Reply 10

stargirl63

17

I usually give my number to people a lot sooner than facebook. I find facebook much more personal with regards to seeing your friends, family tagged photos etc. So if it was someone I wanted to get to know and we were in the initial stages of contact, they wouldn't get my facebook for a while.