Do you think it's always better to be honest with someone even if it hurts them?

Like in some situations you might think it would be beneficial to be honest as it will help them in the long-run. I'd say it depends on the situation, other times I'd just try not to comment rather than lying. What do you think? :smile:

Reply 1

Schrödingers Cat

Man yes

Woman hell no

Reply 2

Hot_Potato

I'd say its better to be honest and tell them the truth even if it hurts. It does depend on the situation but it will help them in the future

Reply 3

surely ur joking

Absolutely.

If I walk like a ponce tell me.
If I dress like a fool tell me.
If I speak like a fool tell me.
If I think like a fool tell me.

There's four types of criticism in my view

honest - diplomatic, meant to improve
hypocritical - amusing because the person who says it is also affected
nonsense - clearly wrong
hostile - meant to aggrevate you

also let things slide, dont be pedantic, its annoying

Reply 4

fitness bobcat

If ur not sure, just keep quiet... at least it avoids conflicts..

But i would prefer to tell the truth. :biggrin:

Reply 5

Powpowpowpowpow

Original post by Multitalented me

I don't like it when people are dishonest to spare somebody's feelings, because the truth is usually only concealed for the short term. Most of the time it becomes clear eventually and just hurts a lot more for the person who was lied to.

Reply 6

SophieSmall

I don't think you should always be honest no, I mean say for example you find someone unattractive. There is no need to tell them really unless they ask you in which case they should be prepared for any answer.

Like if someone just came up to me a were like "dang girl you ugly", yeah sure they are being honest or at least honest in their opinion but that doesn't help me, I already have **** self esteem. I feel sometimes people think they are helping, like maybe they think I'll try to do something to be "prettier" but I don't know, it depends.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 7

furryface12

I think it's important to not lie to someone if that's what you mean, but sometimes it needs to be thought about how to say things in such a way as it's least likely to hurt (whilst still being honest), or maybe not even tell the whole truth. In both of these cases it should be for the person's benefit though if that makes sense.

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Reply 8

whatisthis47

Being honest is crucial if the truth helps them more than it hinders them in the long run. E.g. telling your friend that their SO is cheating on them, or telling your friend that they need to change their diet/lifestyle because their life/health depends on it. In this case it'll hurt them for a short while, but after they get over that hurt, they'll move on with their life/do what needs to be done to bring about a positive change. It'll end up helping them more than it will hurt them.

If you want to protect those you love from a harsh reality which they don't need to know about then go ahead and lie as much as you need to. I've been doing this for years. I lie through my teeth to keep my family happy and ignorant about me. They don't need to be more concerned about me than they already are. If they knew some truths (that I was molested as a child, sexually assaulted at 15, and then raped at 18) they might actually be a little nicer and understanding/compassionate toward me, but at the same time they'll be absolutely broken over the fact that the baby of the family had to deal with that. God knows if I found out one day that my nephew had to deal with things like that it would crush me. My family have always been over protective with me. I can't put them through the pain even though it's something I really wish they knew. On the other hand, if they knew certain other truths then they just wouldn't be able to look at me in the same way anymore. I'd probably be disowned and kicked out from home.
In this case, it'll do more harm than good because it'll bring pain in the long run.

Ultimately, for me, what it comes down to is the question: "if I told this truth today what would life be like in 5/10/20 years time for those involved? will it be better or worse?"

Reply 9

Octohedral

Not always, no. However, I would be careful not to assume anything initially. To not mention it means that I am making a negative judgement on their character, and I would prefer it if people were honest with me, so I ought to afford other people the same dignity if I can.

Original post by Schrödingers Cat

Man yes

Woman hell no

Reckon you need to meet different women. :tongue:

Reply 10

DiddyDec01

As father says "Honesty is the best policy"

I am always honest with someone, even if it is seen as blunt.

Reply 11

Kvothe the Arcane

No. But mostly, yes.

But being honest doesn't mean being callously blunt.

Reply 12

Schrödingers Cat

Original post by Octohedral

Reckon you need to meet different women. :tongue:

Really? I don't see any situation where being honest to a woman can reflect well on you

Reply 13

Vito Scaletta

depends

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Reply 14

Octohedral

Original post by Schrödingers Cat

Really? I don't see any situation where being honest to a woman can reflect well on you

What? We're not a different species.

I agree that in general, women are more emotional than men. However, anyone intelligent should be capable of taking constructive criticism, and in my experience plenty are.

Reply 15

Schrödingers Cat

Original post by Octohedral

That's different, if a woman says something to a woman it's fine, if a man says something to a woman it's a whole other story

Reply 16

SirMasterKey

Honesty is always better in the long run. It just all depends how you go about it.

Reply 17

Legilimency

In majority of cases - yes. Telling the truth a soon as possible makes it much easier to solve the problem, rather than hoping it magically will go away on its own. Telling early on will also make way for the hurt person to mend sooner as a substitute to later. But it also depends on the context, of course. I don't think it's a good idea telling you mother her new shirt she likes very much is ugly, and doing so in the name of honesty. In such a case it would probably be better to tell her it looks nice. Lies can sometime be justified (as in a case like the above-mentioned one), but the hard thing is to define when lying is not ok. It requiers rigorous and fine-tuned reason. Not a simple task, no.