Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

What am I supposed to do with this?!

Please keep anon.

To cut to the chase: a friend and I have been enjoying an ambiguous relationship and it is driving me insane. Most of the time we are just very good friends, at others, particularly when we are alone, we will be a bit more (go out for drinks, kiss, cuddle; we had sex on one occasion), and at other times she will be relatively distant, usually in the days following a period of being especially close (and I do my very best to give her space and act equally distant).

The problem is that I can't ****ing tell what this is. So I have two choices:

a) talk to her about it (we've never spoken about anything that has happened between us). The problem with this is that I'm afraid of ruining it; defining something makes it less interesting.

b) let time decide. Well maybe this is a flaw of mine, but this isn't going too well, which is why I'm writing this. It could easily take ages, and the fear of it simply disappearing from one day to the next is driving me crazy anyway.

Anyone experienced something similar, or just willing to share an opinion? Would really appreciate any advice here.

Reply 1

Kaiju

experienced similar, except i was the one doing the distant-ness thing

the problem here is that she may be fully aware of what she's doing and by approaching the issue you'll effectively "spook" her

it's also possible that she's just waiting for you to make a move because she doesn't know where you stand on it, though.

if it's bothering you enough to make a forum post about it it's probably worth bringing up with her.
be prepared that it might not go too well
at least you won't be worrying about it

Reply 2

WeedCanKill

Does the worry of a non-defined relationship cause you more pain than no cuddles/sex with her? If the answer is yes then go for it. Whereas of the answer is no, then be aware you could lose sexytime with this move.