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What do I do?

Me and my ex were together for 2 years and broke up in August (he broke up with me). After we broke up, he moved to uni 120 miles away and started getting really abusive towards me. He'd text me telling me to kill myself and get his flatmates to send me snapchats and tweets calling me every name under the sun which was really rough for me.
He realised how much of an idiot he was (so he says) and has called me every night since and keeps texting me and won't give up on me and even though I still love him (I was with him for so long, it's hard not to I guess), I have enough self respect not to want him back.
The problem is, he's autistic and has depression and when his ex broke up with him, he tried to commit suicide. I really want him to leave me alone so I can be done with him and finally move on, but I don't know how to because I don't want anything bad to happen to him.. (Ignoring him doesn't work)
Any advice? What do I do?
Pass the "kill yourself" messages to the police. That's all you can do. Justice will take care of your ex
Reply 2
Original post by shawn_o1
Pass the "kill yourself" messages to the police. That's all you can do. Justice will take care of your ex


Extraordinarily bad advice. “Justice”, by which I assume you mean law enforcement, isn't always particularly sensitive to the needs of the autistic. An autistic depressive trying not to lose a part of his world will not benefit from having all the added pressure of some cowboy PC turn up at his door acting the big man with him, which is all too often the reality of your “justice”, especially when it comes to the uninformed and older generations, who tend to think of autism as something that one can be “snapped out of” with a little tough love.

If you've had any contact with his family, they're probably your best bet. They will know his triggers and coping mechanisms. They'll know best how to work with him to deal with change and difficult situations.


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Autism is no excuse for threatening to kill someone. (Or telling someone to commit suicide.)
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 4
Original post by shawn_o1
Autism is no excuse for threatening to kill someone.


He didn't threaten to kill anyone, but I understand your point. “Hang 'em and flog 'em” is not an appropriate attitude here though. Autism is a serious condition and (snap judgement, correct me if I'm wrong) I don't think that you have the background or information to casually dole out “solutions” like this. With the history alluded to in the OP, there will very likely be social work involvement (if not, there damn well should be), with a support structure already in place. If he's moved away and you then involve local police in this, without giving them the background and necessary briefing from that support structure, you could do some real damage. I understand that you think you're giving great advice to simple problems, but please understand that your reflex response could ruin someone's life and result in the suicide of a disabled human being.

His family will be accustomed to his responses and coping strategies. They will understand how to help him and they will have access to the appropriate social care resources. That's why they're a more appropriate point of contact in the first instance.


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