The plan for her on the 28th
The way I look at the situation is, she liked me a lot (She has showed and told me this a few times). Her friends got involved and ruined it. She is giving off so many mixed emotions it's unreal, people are telling me to just drop her out but I am not a ***hole and I care about her a lot. Never give up on a girl you really like, and considering she liked me a lot. It's worth the effort, for a life lesson learned or something special...
So the plan is for me to pick her up from the airport when she lands on the 28th - despite our awkward conversation about the situation on the 12th, 8 days later she hasn't told me not to come and collect her, yet...
So with that opportunity in mind.
Depending on what happens next, I am going to chill at hers. help her pack for her next trip and chill out. NO sex under no circumstances. Just chill out.
Constructive thoughts/advice please?
So the plan is for me to pick her up from the airport when she lands on the 28th - despite our awkward conversation about the situation on the 12th, 8 days later she hasn't told me not to come and collect her, yet...
So with that opportunity in mind.
•
I plan on hugging her then moving back holding her waist and saying "Did you miss me then?" (If she says yes, I will kiss her).
•
I'll ask her how her Christmas went
•
I'll ask her if she has the Paddington Bear I bought her, and if she looked after it.
•
Then when on the train back to her place, I'll say the following
Look I don't have to be here, I'm doing this out of the goodwill of my heart. Guys like me don't come around often, you should be counting your stars lucky you have someone like me in your life, because if you let it go, you'll regret it forever. Regardless of what your friends have said, never loose an opportunity in life when it's a good one.
I'm not asking for commitment or pushing you into anything you don't want. But deep down I think you still like me. All I want to do for you is be that figure in your life, someone you can trust and rely on; and I kept my promise to you by being here today. If you tell your Mum or dad what I've just said or someone older than you; they'd say " Never let that guy go...
I'm not asking for commitment or pushing you into anything you don't want. But deep down I think you still like me. All I want to do for you is be that figure in your life, someone you can trust and rely on; and I kept my promise to you by being here today. If you tell your Mum or dad what I've just said or someone older than you; they'd say " Never let that guy go...
we had great chemistry and you know deep down I can give you everything you want, you can see your family more, you can see your friends more and I can be supportive of you. We should at least try and get to know eachother better and take things very slow, and you lead the way. You know me better than your friends, and you know full well I'd never hurt you.
Depending on what happens next, I am going to chill at hers. help her pack for her next trip and chill out. NO sex under no circumstances. Just chill out.
Constructive thoughts/advice please?
I haven't seen your first thread but I can tell you that you shouldn't over-think. I over-thought it a lot last month when I went out with my first girlfriend. Just be natural. Don't plan anything out that hasn't got a very good chance of happening yet. Just chill and let things fold out for themselves.
The more you stress, the more likely you're going to do something stupid.
The more you stress, the more likely you're going to do something stupid.
I've just seen your message. Hang on.
No stress guys. I had a plan for the 12th, I stuck with it and it worked out well. What's to say this won't work out well on the 28th. Overall I plan with going with the flow. But I need to get it across that I am not after sex, that I am there for her more than anyone else. Actions speak louder than words.
Turning up on the 28th as promised, is a start....
Turning up on the 28th as promised, is a start....
Original post by LeftArmOrthodox
I haven't seen your first thread but I can tell you that you shouldn't over-think. I over-thought it a lot last month when I went out with my first girlfriend. Just be natural. Don't plan anything out that hasn't got a very good chance of happening yet. Just chill and let things fold out for themselves.
The more you stress, the more likely you're going to do something stupid.
The more you stress, the more likely you're going to do something stupid.
Original post by jaffacake111
I've just seen your message. Hang on.
Original post by CescaD96
I remember your first thread...honestly, calm down, you're overthinking EVERYTHING.
Original post by tehFrance
So weird... Just stop over thinking it.
Original post by ConcordeBA
No stress guys. I had a plan for the 12th, I stuck with it and it worked out well. What's to say this won't work out well on the 28th. Overall I plan with going with the flow. But I need to get it across that I am not after sex, that I am there for her more than anyone else. Actions speak louder than words.
Turning up on the 28th as promised, is a start....
Turning up on the 28th as promised, is a start....
Can you post a link to you're first thread pls? Thanks.
Edit: I'd gladly ready through it and get a better understanding of your situation.
Original post by ConcordeBA
No stress guys. I had a plan for the 12th, I stuck with it and it worked out well. What's to say this won't work out well on the 28th. Overall I plan with going with the flow. But I need to get it across that I am not after sex, that I am there for her more than anyone else. Actions speak louder than words.
Turning up on the 28th as promised, is a start....
Turning up on the 28th as promised, is a start....
If it doesn't work out well then it's a sign.
But I apologise on the behalf of the female race for us being tricky b******.
Original post by CescaD96
If it doesn't work out well then it's a sign.
But I apologise on the behalf of the female race for us being tricky b******.
But I apologise on the behalf of the female race for us being tricky b******.
No need to apologise. At the end of the day, her friends wanted to protect her. They got it wrong. Last week she went with her heart and let me into her place and then onwards to the airport.
I want her, not her innocence. She needs to realise this, with time.
We had a very deep and awkward conversation. Two very lovely hugs good bye and she's not contacted me since to tell me she doesn't want me seeing her on the 28th.
It all looks very promising. I'm giving her space right now with family, so hopefully this will make things better with time. But right now she's got her guard up...
Original post by LeftArmOrthodox
Can you post a link to you're first thread pls? Thanks.
Edit: I'd gladly ready through it and get a better understanding of your situation.
Edit: I'd gladly ready through it and get a better understanding of your situation.
There's more than one. Look at my profile and you'll find them. If not I'll do it when on a desktop.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by ConcordeBA
No need to apologise. At the end of the day, her friends wanted to protect her. They got it wrong. Last week she went with her heart and let me into her place and then onwards to the airport.
I want her, not her innocence. She needs to realise this, with time.
We had a very deep and awkward conversation. Two very lovely hugs good bye and she's not contacted me since to tell me she doesn't want me seeing her on the 28th.
It all looks very promising. I'm giving her space right now with family, so hopefully this will make things better with time. But right now she's got her guard up...
Posted from TSR Mobile
I want her, not her innocence. She needs to realise this, with time.
We had a very deep and awkward conversation. Two very lovely hugs good bye and she's not contacted me since to tell me she doesn't want me seeing her on the 28th.
It all looks very promising. I'm giving her space right now with family, so hopefully this will make things better with time. But right now she's got her guard up...
Posted from TSR Mobile
Apart from her having protective friends (all of us girls have friends like that, trust me, I'm very protective of my best friend with her boyfriend) she seems like a great, clever girl. I hope it works out well for you both.
Original post by CescaD96
Apart from her having protective friends (all of us girls have friends like that, trust me, I'm very protective of my best friend with her boyfriend) she seems like a great, clever girl. I hope it works out well for you both.
The situation is. We had sexual interaction, 4 weeks before some guy did it to her and left her. No contact, nothing. On the second date I was going to go back to hers, but her friends got involved and she text me saying "she's not ready for commitment" which is number one for getting rid of someone, but I've tried to see her again and eventually she went through with it
Letting me in her bedroom and sitting on her bed with her.
But she still shows signs of interest. I've just got to maintain it, but it won't happen overnight.
Posted from TSR Mobile
The thing about planning everything out like this is that it won't play out how you want it to. You'll forget what you want to say and trip over your words unless you learn it like a script. But obviously don't do that because it'll seem robotic and creepy. Just chill out and go with the flow.
Original post by ConcordeBA
The situation is. We had sexual interaction, 4 weeks before some guy did it to her and left her. No contact, nothing. On the second date I was going to go back to hers, but her friends got involved and she text me saying "she's not ready for commitment" which is number one for getting rid of someone, but I've tried to see her again and eventually she went through with it
Letting me in her bedroom and sitting on her bed with her.
But she still shows signs of interest. I've just got to maintain it, but it won't happen overnight.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Letting me in her bedroom and sitting on her bed with her.
But she still shows signs of interest. I've just got to maintain it, but it won't happen overnight.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Definitely try to maintain it, but as Dr Pesto has said in the post above, gp with the flow, what feels natural. Don't force it. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
It's a bit weird for you to be like you should thank your lucky stars that someone like me has come along or whatever it said. Makes it sound like your saying she could never get anyone like you, like she's not worthy. That's how I'd see it. The whole first paragraph is just not right at all!
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Well I did that with the phone call, wrote down my apology and smoothly read it out to her. It worked pretty damn well, 3 days later I managed to call her again and arrange to see her off before she goes home for 16 days.
Friday 12th, I just went with the flow and so far I think it's worked. I haven't had any contact from her since, so I am assuming she just wants space. She did sort of hint at that by saying she might not be able to contact me, and that we'd see each other on the 28th.
The plan is to go back to hers, chill, help her out, have something to eat. That was the plan...
Do I keep up the hugging/touching barrier? Or lower this a tad, at no point was she uncomfortable with this at the suttle level I did it at.
That is not my intentions. But surely I need to reassure her that I am not after one thing only. That I want to take things slower. I agree with going with the flow and playing it cool, but at the end of the day she was making a bigger deal out of than I was. Burying her head into her phone.
All of my friends have told me, she's not worth it. It's her loss and that I can do a lot better. But we both had chemistry. It just went too quick. Maybe taking things nice and slowly as friends could re-ignite what we once had. Are you suggesting this?
Original post by Dr Pesto
...
Well I did that with the phone call, wrote down my apology and smoothly read it out to her. It worked pretty damn well, 3 days later I managed to call her again and arrange to see her off before she goes home for 16 days.
Friday 12th, I just went with the flow and so far I think it's worked. I haven't had any contact from her since, so I am assuming she just wants space. She did sort of hint at that by saying she might not be able to contact me, and that we'd see each other on the 28th.
The plan is to go back to hers, chill, help her out, have something to eat. That was the plan...
Original post by CescaD96
...
Do I keep up the hugging/touching barrier? Or lower this a tad, at no point was she uncomfortable with this at the suttle level I did it at.
Original post by littlesocksx
...
That is not my intentions. But surely I need to reassure her that I am not after one thing only. That I want to take things slower. I agree with going with the flow and playing it cool, but at the end of the day she was making a bigger deal out of than I was. Burying her head into her phone.
All of my friends have told me, she's not worth it. It's her loss and that I can do a lot better. But we both had chemistry. It just went too quick. Maybe taking things nice and slowly as friends could re-ignite what we once had. Are you suggesting this?
awful
you cant fit your girlfriend in a little box like this, by all means have a hypothesis but dont have a script
its difficult to fake reality, and if you succeed youll ruin the fun of unplanned circumstances
you cant fit your girlfriend in a little box like this, by all means have a hypothesis but dont have a script
its difficult to fake reality, and if you succeed youll ruin the fun of unplanned circumstances
Original post by ConcordeBA
Well I did that with the phone call, wrote down my apology and smoothly read it out to her. It worked pretty damn well, 3 days later I managed to call her again and arrange to see her off before she goes home for 16 days.
Friday 12th, I just went with the flow and so far I think it's worked. I haven't had any contact from her since, so I am assuming she just wants space. She did sort of hint at that by saying she might not be able to contact me, and that we'd see each other on the 28th.
The plan is to go back to hers, chill, help her out, have something to eat. That was the plan...
Do I keep up the hugging/touching barrier? Or lower this a tad, at no point was she uncomfortable with this at the suttle level I did it at.
That is not my intentions. But surely I need to reassure her that I am not after one thing only. That I want to take things slower. I agree with going with the flow and playing it cool, but at the end of the day she was making a bigger deal out of than I was. Burying her head into her phone.
All of my friends have told me, she's not worth it. It's her loss and that I can do a lot better. But we both had chemistry. It just went too quick. Maybe taking things nice and slowly as friends could re-ignite what we once had. Are you suggesting this?
Well I did that with the phone call, wrote down my apology and smoothly read it out to her. It worked pretty damn well, 3 days later I managed to call her again and arrange to see her off before she goes home for 16 days.
Friday 12th, I just went with the flow and so far I think it's worked. I haven't had any contact from her since, so I am assuming she just wants space. She did sort of hint at that by saying she might not be able to contact me, and that we'd see each other on the 28th.
The plan is to go back to hers, chill, help her out, have something to eat. That was the plan...
Do I keep up the hugging/touching barrier? Or lower this a tad, at no point was she uncomfortable with this at the suttle level I did it at.
That is not my intentions. But surely I need to reassure her that I am not after one thing only. That I want to take things slower. I agree with going with the flow and playing it cool, but at the end of the day she was making a bigger deal out of than I was. Burying her head into her phone.
All of my friends have told me, she's not worth it. It's her loss and that I can do a lot better. But we both had chemistry. It just went too quick. Maybe taking things nice and slowly as friends could re-ignite what we once had. Are you suggesting this?
Just a little bit, but don't cut it straight out, then she'll start wondering what the hell is going on.
Original post by CescaD96
Just a little bit, but don't cut it straight out, then she'll start wondering what the hell is going on.
Sorry, don't cut what straight out? It's interesting, she knows I like her a lot but she doesn't run a square mile and push me away. Based on what she does and has told me, she seems heavily influenced by her friends. She could never make her mind up on meeting me again, except Friday when she really needed me.
Original post by doctor francis
awful
you cant fit your girlfriend in a little box like this, by all means have a hypothesis but dont have a script
its difficult to fake reality, and if you succeed youll ruin the fun of unplanned circumstances
you cant fit your girlfriend in a little box like this, by all means have a hypothesis but dont have a script
its difficult to fake reality, and if you succeed youll ruin the fun of unplanned circumstances
She's not my girlfriend. But things went too far, I am trying to rectify this. Maybe just being myself is the best way forward and not overwhelm her.
Do you think I should take her stuff back, help her out with unpacking/packing her suitcase for the next adventure she is doing. Help tidy/hoover her room as I did say I'll help her. Then ask her if she'd like me to go now? Or if she'd like me to stay for dinner.
Original post by ConcordeBA
Or if she'd like me to stay for dinner.
Don't ask that at all!!
Just say once it's all done that it's time for you to go, she'll then decide if she wants you to stay or not.
Original post by tehFrance
Don't ask that at all!!
Just say once it's all done that it's time for you to go, she'll then decide if she wants you to stay or not.
Just say once it's all done that it's time for you to go, she'll then decide if she wants you to stay or not.
I am thinking on the train back to hers.
I don't plan on staying that long, I'll help you with your suitcases, your flight details for tomorrow (29th), tidying your room then I'll leave.
Although she may start panicking as to why I am acting distant, and wanting out of the situation. But is the best thing to do? Because when I acted disinterested in her she panicked and gave me her full attention.
Remember I am seeing her on the 10th too, and I want to secure that too.
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