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Slept with my friend's boyfriend

One of my close friends has a boyfriend, he's really hot. A few of us went out a few nights ago, she had to go home but the rest of us, including her boyfriend, went back to someone else's to sleep. We were drunk and once the others were asleep, he came onto me and I couldn't help myself :frown: he's really attractive and knows it so I couldn't resist - we had sex.

She has now found out, and says she never wants to see me again. And she is the sort of person who doesn't forgive easily. They're also breaking up.

What can I do? I can't think straight tbh.
Also, is it bad that I don't feel that bad for sleeping with him? Maybe it's just cause he came onto me and not the other way around? I know I'm a bad friend but I don't feel awful like I should.

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Reply 1
Everyone makes mistakes


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It's interesting you don't feel bad about it. If that's how you feel fair enough. I suppose the question is, if you were the girlfriend, and somebody else had sex with your boyfriend?

It's also interesting how you argue this might be because he came onto you? Is it fair game then do you think? If a guy with a gf comes on to you, and he's hot, is it fair game to have sex with him? Maybe some girls see it that way.

Don't beat yourself up. You've crushed your friends relationship, but maybe you needed sex and needed to be ruthless to get it? Sometimes you have to look after number one, especially if others around you are getting sex and you aren't.

Some mixed thoughts for you there.
Original post by Anonymous
One of my close friends has a boyfriend, he's really hot. A few of us went out a few nights ago, she had to go home but the rest of us, including her boyfriend, went back to someone else's to sleep. We were drunk and once the others were asleep, he came onto me and I couldn't help myself :frown: he's really attractive and knows it so I couldn't resist - we had sex.

She has now found out, and says she never wants to see me again. And she is the sort of person who doesn't forgive easily. They're also breaking up.

What can I do? I can't think straight tbh.
Also, is it bad that I don't feel that bad for sleeping with him? Maybe it's just cause he came onto me and not the other way around? I know I'm a bad friend but I don't feel awful like I should.


Why did you decide to wreak a home?!!
Reply 4
You're both in the wrong, but then you knew that already. But if you don't feel bad about it, then so what? That friend clearly can't have meant much to you.
You should feel bad. Not because you slept with a guy with a girlfriend, because you betrayed YOUR FRIEND. Of course it's his fault too, more so because he came on to you - but don't you think you're an awful friend? If you want to repair your friendship first understand this and then apologise sincerely.
Just move on.

You have no self worth, you have no morals, ..secretly you always wanted to and are blaming drink.

I don't even know why you are posting, what question do you have? She hates you and rightfully so and never wants to see you again so just go about your business and try not to wreck anymore homes! :rolleyes:
Original post by queen-bee
Why did you decide to wreak a home?!!


The 'home' was wrecked the moment the bf came onto OP.
Well, it takes two- so you're not the only bad party.
Honestly, I'd suggest moving on and forgetting about your friend and her ex boyfriend. If she's anything like me, or the girls I know- you will never get that bond back that you once had. Trust is gone.
People make mistakes, it happens- don't beat yourself up about it. Just try not to do it again, because it's really quite sad for everyone involved.
So classy S, the best friend and the boyfriend.


Watch out S, Queen B is out for revenge

XOXO Gossip Girl
Original post by joker12345
The 'home' was wrecked the moment the bf came onto OP.


She had a choice
Original post by queen-bee
She had a choice


Yeah, and I said she was wrong bevause she betrayed a friend. But the home was wrecked by the bf, not her.
Reply 12
i think misogyny is to blame for this
Original post by joker12345
Yeah, and I said she was wrong bevause she betrayed a friend. But the home was wrecked by the bf, not her.


It takes two to tango
it's human nature
Original post by Eboracum
It's interesting you don't feel bad about it. If that's how you feel fair enough. I suppose the question is, if you were the girlfriend, and somebody else had sex with your boyfriend?

It's also interesting how you argue this might be because he came onto you? Is it fair game then do you think? If a guy with a gf comes on to you, and he's hot, is it fair game to have sex with him? Maybe some girls see it that way.

Don't beat yourself up. You've crushed your friends relationship, but maybe you needed sex and needed to be ruthless to get it? Sometimes you have to look after number one, especially if others around you are getting sex and you aren't.

Some mixed thoughts for you there.

I've never had a boyfriend but I'm sure I'd hate it if my boyfriend cheated on me with a friend, I don't doubt that.

Yeah, I think it might be cause of that, means I don't feel responsible for the sex? :s-smilie: He's the one who chose to ruin his relationship, not me.

I didn't "need" sex. I don't have a boyfriend but I get plenty of guys, and I'm not that sex-hungry anyway.

Original post by queen-bee
Why did you decide to wreak a home?!!

What?

Original post by Drewski
You're both in the wrong, but then you knew that already. But if you don't feel bad about it, then so what? That friend clearly can't have meant much to you.

But she does. I really care about her... that's why I don't understand why I don't feel worse about it.

Original post by anonymouspie227
Well, it takes two- so you're not the only bad party.
Honestly, I'd suggest moving on and forgetting about your friend and her ex boyfriend. If she's anything like me, or the girls I know- you will never get that bond back that you once had. Trust is gone.
People make mistakes, it happens- don't beat yourself up about it. Just try not to do it again, because it's really quite sad for everyone involved.

that sucks :frown: this hasn't happened before with any of my friends so idk what to expect. I don't want to lose her, though I know she can't trust me now.

Original post by joker12345
Yeah, and I said she was wrong bevause she betrayed a friend. But the home was wrecked by the bf, not her.

People keep saying "wrecked home" but I have no idea what that means. I feel stupid, can someone explain? :confused::confused::confused:
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 16
How did she find out?
Original post by Pindar
How did she find out?

He told her before she could find out from anyone I'd told, he knows I'm a bit of a gossip :P
Original post by Anonymous

People keep saying "wrecked home" but I have no idea what that means. I feel stupid, can someone explain? :confused::confused::confused:


A "homewrecker" is used to describe someone who breaks up a marriage or relationship.

Although it is partly your fault, I'd say the blame lies much more on him. He was the one in the relationship. It takes two to tango.


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Original post by Anonymous
One of my close friends has a boyfriend, he's really hot. A few of us went out a few nights ago, she had to go home but the rest of us, including her boyfriend, went back to someone else's to sleep. We were drunk and once the others were asleep, he came onto me and I couldn't help myself :frown: he's really attractive and knows it so I couldn't resist - we had sex.

She has now found out, and says she never wants to see me again. And she is the sort of person who doesn't forgive easily. They're also breaking up.

What can I do? I can't think straight tbh.
Also, is it bad that I don't feel that bad for sleeping with him? Maybe it's just cause he came onto me and not the other way around? I know I'm a bad friend but I don't feel awful like I should.


Fair enough you don't feel bad and I'm not going to judge you because I have nearly been in a similar situation but the man was married with kids I couldn't do it but you need to understand why you're friend doesn't want to talk to you again. She feels betrayed from you and her ex boyfriend. Just leave her and let her carry on with her life and try and learn from your choice you made to not sleep with someone's man again. Even though he's hot etc.


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