I barely respect my own mum?
I'll try summarise everything-
I live with my mum and sister. Dad works abroad - work is his life. We see him 2-3x a year. My mum hasn't worked since I was born.
5 years ago my mum went on an intensive course to learn to teach English part time. She wound up getting carted off to the mental hospital after a breakdown, was then diagnosed with bipolar.
That put an end to her attempts at restarting a career.
This year she split up with my dad after 20years of marriage over the phone. 1 month later she's found a boyfriend who spends about 2 days a week on average living at our house. She's still married to my dad. I admit I wasn't overly welcoming - he's a nice guy but I was just annoyed I saw his face more than my own dads, that's all.
Shes just so..... Stupid? She'll ask my dad if he's ok with it, he'll answer yes. She then thinks everything is working out absolutely fine when it obviously isn't.
They haven't been in love for years (and if I'm honest I've been anticipating their divorce for years-a bit of a relief it's finally happening ha) but all my dad has apart from a full paid house, is(was) my mum, me and my sister.
Her contribution to our income is apparently, getting lodgers and students. Which I would accept if they were actually consistent. The odd two weeker paying £200 total isn't income.
the house is never tidy, she never tidies unless it's absolutely necessary
so recently, the strain is huge. My dad tries not to say anything, but it's visible to the point I'm seriously worried. 11+ hour shifts every day is not ok. I hate it. I even considered skipping uni and going out there at 18 to help in his work. Until I realised that would shatter his dreams of his kids going to uni... So I'm off to uni next year, and my sister is 4yrs younger than me. That's another 8 years of funding.
me and my sister have tried bringing up the money issue various times but each time we've been accused of 'bullying' her (I do love being called a bully by my own mum it's so mood lifting), not appreciating her, never helping around the house, hurting her, she's 'put her life on hold' for us, and she storms off. And im worried about re-setting off the bipolar. So we stay relatively quiet if possible. But we're only human, and the arguments have got out of hand at least twice a month.
..
I guess it's the constant(daily) self victimising she does, the scrounging off two men (where she'll be in 10yrs I have no idea. I expect she's relying on me and my sister) and her giving up way too easily that's just doing my head in.
My god, I'm mid a levels and tried to get a part time job to which she disagreed and rang up my dad to force me not to. And then she has the audacity to tell me I do nothing?
(ignore typos it's rushed and it's late and I'm on my phone)
its not unnatural to have lost respect for my own mother this last year especially, is it? yes I feel mean and evil but..
Sorry for the essay, your thoughts?
I live with my mum and sister. Dad works abroad - work is his life. We see him 2-3x a year. My mum hasn't worked since I was born.
5 years ago my mum went on an intensive course to learn to teach English part time. She wound up getting carted off to the mental hospital after a breakdown, was then diagnosed with bipolar.
That put an end to her attempts at restarting a career.
This year she split up with my dad after 20years of marriage over the phone. 1 month later she's found a boyfriend who spends about 2 days a week on average living at our house. She's still married to my dad. I admit I wasn't overly welcoming - he's a nice guy but I was just annoyed I saw his face more than my own dads, that's all.
Shes just so..... Stupid? She'll ask my dad if he's ok with it, he'll answer yes. She then thinks everything is working out absolutely fine when it obviously isn't.
They haven't been in love for years (and if I'm honest I've been anticipating their divorce for years-a bit of a relief it's finally happening ha) but all my dad has apart from a full paid house, is(was) my mum, me and my sister.
Her contribution to our income is apparently, getting lodgers and students. Which I would accept if they were actually consistent. The odd two weeker paying £200 total isn't income.
the house is never tidy, she never tidies unless it's absolutely necessary
so recently, the strain is huge. My dad tries not to say anything, but it's visible to the point I'm seriously worried. 11+ hour shifts every day is not ok. I hate it. I even considered skipping uni and going out there at 18 to help in his work. Until I realised that would shatter his dreams of his kids going to uni... So I'm off to uni next year, and my sister is 4yrs younger than me. That's another 8 years of funding.
me and my sister have tried bringing up the money issue various times but each time we've been accused of 'bullying' her (I do love being called a bully by my own mum it's so mood lifting), not appreciating her, never helping around the house, hurting her, she's 'put her life on hold' for us, and she storms off. And im worried about re-setting off the bipolar. So we stay relatively quiet if possible. But we're only human, and the arguments have got out of hand at least twice a month.
..
I guess it's the constant(daily) self victimising she does, the scrounging off two men (where she'll be in 10yrs I have no idea. I expect she's relying on me and my sister) and her giving up way too easily that's just doing my head in.
My god, I'm mid a levels and tried to get a part time job to which she disagreed and rang up my dad to force me not to. And then she has the audacity to tell me I do nothing?
(ignore typos it's rushed and it's late and I'm on my phone)
its not unnatural to have lost respect for my own mother this last year especially, is it? yes I feel mean and evil but..
Sorry for the essay, your thoughts?
Every mother is different I'm the same in a way with my mother since she dumped me at my dads for the weekend and never came back since she moved abroad for 2 years but all parents are different, I love my mum even though she's completely insane and not the best mum but no mother is great everyone has their faults even you have faults and I do myself. She's obviously not coping, she's probably feeling abandoned since your dad never sees her, imagine if the love of your life was barely even in your life anymore you should try tidying the house and taking care of her for a little while, try and get her to trust and talk to you. Try to get her to explain what's she's hiding from you because she's probably got something she wants to say but too scared to say anything. She's probably just upset that your dad left for his job when family always come first and that she's had to move on with her life and things haven't gone to plan. Just talk to her and be nice about everything.
It's the lack of sex your mum is experiencing, just obtain D for her.
Original post by itslaurajxx
Every mother is different I'm the same in a way with my mother since she dumped me at my dads for the weekend and never came back since she moved abroad for 2 years but all parents are different, I love my mum even though she's completely insane and not the best mum but no mother is great everyone has their faults even you have faults and I do myself. She's obviously not coping, she's probably feeling abandoned since your dad never sees her, imagine if the love of your life was barely even in your life anymore you should try tidying the house and taking care of her for a little while, try and get her to trust and talk to you. Try to get her to explain what's she's hiding from you because she's probably got something she wants to say but too scared to say anything. She's probably just upset that your dad left for his job when family always come first and that she's had to move on with her life and things haven't gone to plan. Just talk to her and be nice about everything.
There must be a motive for you to be not enraged by your mothers actions.
Respect is earned. You might love your mum but it's not compulsory to respect her.
It's obvious your mum has coping issues and despite have reasons to resent her a bit sometimes your are still being too harsh on her. I think some of her actions can be directly related to her bipolar disorder. Related your mum's relation with your dad, splitting up and having a new boyfriend...your dad working abroad is not helping issues and despite providing financial support, the lack of emotional support from your dad might have hit hard on your mum. I think your mum needs your support, you need to try to understand her condition and try to see things through her eyes. The way I see things, at the moment the way you treat her only makes it harder for her which in turn it makes it harder for you as well.
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
Respect is earned. You might love your mum but it's not compulsory to respect her.
But as well the OP might try to understand his mum's situation, I think he is being harsh on her.
Original post by Anonymous
I'll try summarise everything-
I live with my mum and sister. Dad works abroad - work is his life. We see him 2-3x a year. My mum hasn't worked since I was born.
5 years ago my mum went on an intensive course to learn to teach English part time. She wound up getting carted off to the mental hospital after a breakdown, was then diagnosed with bipolar.
That put an end to her attempts at restarting a career.
This year she split up with my dad after 20years of marriage over the phone. 1 month later she's found a boyfriend who spends about 2 days a week on average living at our house. She's still married to my dad. I admit I wasn't overly welcoming - he's a nice guy but I was just annoyed I saw his face more than my own dads, that's all.
Shes just so..... Stupid? She'll ask my dad if he's ok with it, he'll answer yes. She then thinks everything is working out absolutely fine when it obviously isn't.
They haven't been in love for years (and if I'm honest I've been anticipating their divorce for years-a bit of a relief it's finally happening ha) but all my dad has apart from a full paid house, is(was) my mum, me and my sister.
Her contribution to our income is apparently, getting lodgers and students. Which I would accept if they were actually consistent. The odd two weeker paying £200 total isn't income.
the house is never tidy, she never tidies unless it's absolutely necessary
so recently, the strain is huge. My dad tries not to say anything, but it's visible to the point I'm seriously worried. 11+ hour shifts every day is not ok. I hate it. I even considered skipping uni and going out there at 18 to help in his work. Until I realised that would shatter his dreams of his kids going to uni... So I'm off to uni next year, and my sister is 4yrs younger than me. That's another 8 years of funding.
me and my sister have tried bringing up the money issue various times but each time we've been accused of 'bullying' her (I do love being called a bully by my own mum it's so mood lifting), not appreciating her, never helping around the house, hurting her, she's 'put her life on hold' for us, and she storms off. And im worried about re-setting off the bipolar. So we stay relatively quiet if possible. But we're only human, and the arguments have got out of hand at least twice a month.
..
I guess it's the constant(daily) self victimising she does, the scrounging off two men (where she'll be in 10yrs I have no idea. I expect she's relying on me and my sister) and her giving up way too easily that's just doing my head in.
My god, I'm mid a levels and tried to get a part time job to which she disagreed and rang up my dad to force me not to. And then she has the audacity to tell me I do nothing?
(ignore typos it's rushed and it's late and I'm on my phone)
its not unnatural to have lost respect for my own mother this last year especially, is it? yes I feel mean and evil but..
Sorry for the essay, your thoughts?
I live with my mum and sister. Dad works abroad - work is his life. We see him 2-3x a year. My mum hasn't worked since I was born.
5 years ago my mum went on an intensive course to learn to teach English part time. She wound up getting carted off to the mental hospital after a breakdown, was then diagnosed with bipolar.
That put an end to her attempts at restarting a career.
This year she split up with my dad after 20years of marriage over the phone. 1 month later she's found a boyfriend who spends about 2 days a week on average living at our house. She's still married to my dad. I admit I wasn't overly welcoming - he's a nice guy but I was just annoyed I saw his face more than my own dads, that's all.
Shes just so..... Stupid? She'll ask my dad if he's ok with it, he'll answer yes. She then thinks everything is working out absolutely fine when it obviously isn't.
They haven't been in love for years (and if I'm honest I've been anticipating their divorce for years-a bit of a relief it's finally happening ha) but all my dad has apart from a full paid house, is(was) my mum, me and my sister.
Her contribution to our income is apparently, getting lodgers and students. Which I would accept if they were actually consistent. The odd two weeker paying £200 total isn't income.
the house is never tidy, she never tidies unless it's absolutely necessary
so recently, the strain is huge. My dad tries not to say anything, but it's visible to the point I'm seriously worried. 11+ hour shifts every day is not ok. I hate it. I even considered skipping uni and going out there at 18 to help in his work. Until I realised that would shatter his dreams of his kids going to uni... So I'm off to uni next year, and my sister is 4yrs younger than me. That's another 8 years of funding.
me and my sister have tried bringing up the money issue various times but each time we've been accused of 'bullying' her (I do love being called a bully by my own mum it's so mood lifting), not appreciating her, never helping around the house, hurting her, she's 'put her life on hold' for us, and she storms off. And im worried about re-setting off the bipolar. So we stay relatively quiet if possible. But we're only human, and the arguments have got out of hand at least twice a month.
..
I guess it's the constant(daily) self victimising she does, the scrounging off two men (where she'll be in 10yrs I have no idea. I expect she's relying on me and my sister) and her giving up way too easily that's just doing my head in.
My god, I'm mid a levels and tried to get a part time job to which she disagreed and rang up my dad to force me not to. And then she has the audacity to tell me I do nothing?
(ignore typos it's rushed and it's late and I'm on my phone)
its not unnatural to have lost respect for my own mother this last year especially, is it? yes I feel mean and evil but..
Sorry for the essay, your thoughts?
A bipolar family member is very difficult to live with. There's no reason you have to respect your own mother, respect is earned. I have no respect for my own mother. It's difficult, but you just have to try and work through it. It will be hard and it will be difficult, but it'll make things so much nicer for you when you move out to go to Uni. Try and carry on looking towards the future, and think about how one day things will be better
don't let her drag you down, because you'll regret it in later life. Always remember that no matter how guilty she tries to make you feel, it isn't your fault.
Original post by Infectious
just obtain D for her.
Eww
I hated my mother for a long time and I haven't long accepted it's in the past, we all need to move on, we had to talk through it and take everything one step at a time, that's what you should do x
A mother will always love her child. I know people who do not have a mother, you are lucky trust me
Original post by abbiemac
A bipolar family member is very difficult to live with. There's no reason you have to respect your own mother, respect is earned. I have no respect for my own mother. It's difficult, but you just have to try and work through it. It will be hard and it will be difficult, but it'll make things so much nicer for you when you move out to go to Uni. Try and carry on looking towards the future, and think about how one day things will be better don't let her drag you down, because you'll regret it in later life. Always remember that no matter how guilty she tries to make you feel, it isn't your fault.
don't let her drag you down, because you'll regret it in later life. Always remember that no matter how guilty she tries to make you feel, it isn't your fault.Original post by Eva.Gregoria
Respect is earned. You might love your mum but it's not compulsory to respect her.
Respect is a two way thing, you have to show respect to get respect.
Original post by Enoxial
Eww
Men don't write "eww", they write "delicious", no matter what.
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