Saw boyfriends messages

Hello,

I need some help! My boyffiend and I have only been dating a few months but it's going very well and we are progressinf rather quickly. He's open about the fact he has a lot of girls who flirt with him and he laughs it off.

He's been talking about how one girl messaged him a few weeks ago asking him out for a drink (he has slept with her before) and claimed he never replied. However, every time he has shown me some messages from his friends in his inbox her name has been up there so he has been replying. Even yesterday I could see he had replied too!

I don't want to turn all jealous girlfriend on him but I am quite hurt that he's been replying but don't know what to do :frown:

Reply 1

Reue

Personally I'd ignore it. If you trust him then there's nothing wrong with him being friends with other girls. Perhaps he lied because he knew you would react badly.

If you don't trust him then dump him and do both of yourselves a favour.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Reue

Thank you for the reply. It's just a bit mean of him to keep going on that he didn't reply to her/they don't talk when I know that they do. Why lie!

Reply 3

Reue

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for the reply. It's just a bit mean of him to keep going on that he didn't reply to her/they don't talk when I know that they do. Why lie!

Why lie?

You've felt so strongly about this that you felt the need to ask strangers on the Internet about it. That's probably why he lies :smile:

Reply 4

Hot_Potato

I suppose it can go two ways..

If you ask he may feel like you don't trust him

But if you don't ask you may forever be wondering

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Juday

I suppose it can go two ways..

If you ask he may feel like you don't trust him

But if you don't ask you may forever be wondering

He already thinks I have trust issues so asking may not be an option :frown:

Reply 6

Hot_Potato

Original post by Anonymous

He already thinks I have trust issues so asking may not be an option :frown:

Well I suppose just wait and see then? Unless it's really bothering you

Reply 7

WeedCanKill

Alot of guys do harmless flirting, chill out it's just a bit of fun

Reply 8

TurboCretin

Original post by Anonymous

I understand your concern, but from a practical standpoint it's difficult to see what you can do about this. I think you have three options:

1) Ask him to stop talking to her entirely
2) Monitor all his correspondence
3) Trust him

I think we all know which option is going to be the healthiest for your relationship. Just be clear with him that you'd like him to continue to be open with the fact that girls are flirting with him, and that it builds trust in the relationship when he talks to you about it. If he turns out not to be trustworthy then he's not worth your time, but you cannot ultimately control what he does.

Reply 9

☺Cat☺

Original post by WeedCanKill

Alot of guys do harmless flirting, chill out it's just a bit of fun

It's not harmless if hurts anon's feelings :s-smilie:

Reply 10

TurboCretin

Original post by WeedCanKill

Alot of guys do harmless flirting, chill out it's just a bit of fun

It's less harmless if you've slept with the person before and now have a girlfriend.

Reply 11

pseudonymegg

ahaha when I first saw this I thought you meant he was sending you some sadistic SAW i.e. Jigsaw messages... I wanna play a game...

Reply 12

treetrunks

I wouldn't stay with a liar. If he lies about this, who knows what else he could lie about.

Reply 13

az08

Original post by treetrunks

I wouldn't stay with a liar. If he lies about this, who knows what else he could lie about.

Very true. The problem is not that he is still messaging her, but told you he wasn't, this is a big red flag.

When I started a new relationship with my new girlfriend I told her about a girl that I had previously slept with, that we were just friends, and that we still kept in contact. I specifically told her that I wanted her to know about her in case she was ever to see a message from her pop up, so she would know who she is. As it turns out we dont keep in contact that much anymore anyway as all my focus is on the girlfriend.

Yes I am a super boyfriend.