girls making the first move

i'd just like to know peoples experiences of this

I'm not one for sticking to social conventions or "tradition" and want to know if any girls have asked guys out in the past, and if so how and how did it go?

Alternatively, any blokes ever been asked out by a girl? do you mind? how would you feel if a girl you hadn't paid attention to much just asked you out?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Anon as embarrassing :biggrin:

Sent him a note just before valentine's day, in his pigeonhole at uni. A very cringey poem of sorts - with my number on.
He was pretty awesome anyway; sadly I wasn't/am not ready for anything close to a relationship after my ex and won't be for many years so not a happy ending. And I sitll feel like a **** for having to end it when I started it, especially as he was pretty cool.

Reply 2

Gjaykay

11

Original post by bluetree112

i'd just like to know peoples experiences of this

I'm not one for sticking to social conventions or "tradition" and want to know if any girls have asked guys out in the past, and if so how and how did it go?

Alternatively, any blokes ever been asked out by a girl? do you mind? how would you feel if a girl you hadn't paid attention to much just asked you out?

Yeah I have been asked out by a few girls. I enjoyed it, it's nice to feel wanted rather than chasing some lassie.
If someone I hadn't really spoke to asked me out, I'd go out with them, talk to them, get to know them.
OP tell the guy how you feel, like I said it's nice when you feel wanted!

Reply 3

bluetree112

OP

Original post by Gjaykay

Yeah I have been asked out by a few girls. I enjoyed it, it's nice to feel wanted rather than chasing some lassie.
If someone I hadn't really spoke to asked me out, I'd go out with them, talk to them, get to know them.
OP tell the guy how you feel, like I said it's nice when you feel wanted!

Only thing is, i work with the guy and am scared of it being really awkward if it turns out he has a girlfriend or isn't interested :tongue:

Reply 4

Gjaykay

11

Original post by bluetree112

Only thing is, i work with the guy and am scared of it being really awkward if it turns out he has a girlfriend or isn't interested :tongue:

That's how every guy feels. By virtue of being a lassie though, the guy will be polite if he isn't interested or is taken, and honestly, it'll probably not be awkward because in general guys aren't like that. I do speak from my own personal experience, but yours may differ.

Still, take a chance, you never know you could be posting here in a year or twos time telling us all about how got together and are getting married or something :smile:

Reply 5

bluetree112

OP

Original post by Gjaykay

That's how every guy feels. By virtue of being a lassie though, the guy will be polite if he isn't interested or is taken, and honestly, it'll probably not be awkward because in general guys aren't like that. I do speak from my own personal experience, but yours may differ.

Still, take a chance, you never know you could be posting here in a year or twos time telling us all about how got together and are getting married or something :smile:

i know, i just need to suck it up :tongue:

thing is, i already kinda asked him out as friends to hang out and he was busy then, so i don't want to seem to be pestering him. I know just now i like him more than he likes me

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

That was not a good move. Control yourself next time. I can just imagine how your sister would be feeling.. & she doesn't deserve him.

Reply 7

Gjaykay

11

Original post by bluetree112

i know, i just need to suck it up :tongue:

thing is, i already kinda asked him out as friends to hang out and he was busy then, so i don't want to seem to be pestering him. I know just now i like him more than he likes me

Try again, you don't get if you don't ask :smile:

Just try and get him when he's not busy one day to go out for lunch or drinks, let him get to know you and I'm sure you'll knock him dead!
People are busy - it happens - don't let that deter you.

Reply 8

owl_

1

you never know! my new year's resolution is to try and ask a guy out at some point rather than being all shy and hoping they'll come to me... life's too short! so go for it... and let me know how it goes! :smile:

Reply 9

bluetree112

OP

Original post by Gjaykay

Try again, you don't get if you don't ask :smile:

Just try and get him when he's not busy one day to go out for lunch or drinks, let him get to know you and I'm sure you'll knock him dead!
People are busy - it happens - don't let that deter you.

Thank you

i'll see how it goes next time im at work (if i get a chance to talk to him) and if not i'll think of something :smile:

hopefully i won't have to resort to asking him via facebook messenger though :tongue:

Reply 10

Veggiechic6

14

I've never asked a guy out. I'd like to try, but I'm too worried about getting knocked back and humiliated. I kinda feel sorry for how guys are always expected to make the first move.

Reply 11

bluetree112

OP

Original post by Veggiechic6

I've never asked a guy out. I'd like to try, but I'm too worried about getting knocked back and humiliated. I kinda feel sorry for how guys are always expected to make the first move.

With my ex we met at a party and then i added him on facebook and started talking to him on there, so i kinda made the first move. Not sure i would have been so confident if i was sober :tongue:

I've never been approached and asked out by a guy, it usually tends to be meeting in a neutral situation and then both being equally interested. Blokes don't seem to want to make any move sometimes

Reply 12

upagumtree

12

Original post by bluetree112

Only thing is, i work with the guy and am scared of it being really awkward if it turns out he has a girlfriend or isn't interested :tongue:

I was in a very similar situation just recently. I worked with someone now and again and always enjoyed speaking to him. We had quite a bit in common I think. He however, never used to mention whether he was single or not. I got an opportunity to speak to him alone and started out asking him what he was up to this weekend, he said nothing planned and I said neither did I. I was getting scarily close to actually just asking him out there and then but changed tactic at the last minute and asked casually, "so what does you girlfriend do?" half expecting him to say oh I dont have one. He replied with, "oh she work in ...etc". I was soooo glad I found this out before trying anything! Lesson learned, always find out for sure whether or not there is a significant other.
I don't know if the line I used is a good one or not? I had it used on me once. I think it sort of, well, obvioulsy gets the job done but maybe subtely/not-so-subtely shows that you are interested at the same time.

I have been forthcoming with my feelings before this though and got together with the guy (this was a few years ago). He replied that he was very glad I had said something because he would have been too afraid!