OP, your mention of wanting to be 'normal' reminded me of an awesome quote from the Addams Family (hey, I'm a goth, bear with me) - Morticia says 'Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly'. There's a lot of wisdom in that! So you're not 'normal' in the conventional, 'socially accepted', vanilla world. Who cares about vanilla though? (I know I don't!) There are SO many totally exciting flavours in life's ice cream counter! There's a lot of pressure on men and women in today's world to be certain ways, and these ways can be verrrry restrictive. Additional layers of anxiety and wrangling can be heaped on top of all that if someone is struggling with their sexual/gender identity. You're still young and figuring stuff out in a complex social system which takes every opportunity to impose a 'cookie cutter' identity onto people. It's difficult. Please be kind to yourself.
I know the responses here may be hard to take. This is TSR, a generic student site so there may not be much by way of validation for you. I did a quick net search and there are zillions of asexual websites and networks out there. People who will recognise your experience and be able to relate, maybe even give you advice. And who knows, you may meet somebody cool and nice to explore a relationship with.
Chill. Be patient with yourself. Connect with others of like-mind. It'll be ok :-)