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My boyfriend keeps putting himself down and feels worthless?

Hey

we're both 21, and I love him lots. He's quite a funny guy but lately I think he's been feeling a bit down or he's hiding his true feelings?

On Christmas Day, his family all sit around and open their presents all one at a time. He said to me he didn't want to open his. I asked why and he said to me it's because he felt like he didn't deserve it? It just sounded upsetting because he is one of the nicest, friendliest, most helpful people you could ever meet. He is always thinking about others yet he said that? Why would anyone think like that?

He works where I used to work and a Manager I knew came over to me when I visited recently and told me he was putting himself down about his work too much and asked me if everything was alright.

My boyfriend loves photography and i'm not just saying it, but he's pretty amazing at it. The photos are beautiful. He studied photography and they're professional level. 1000 people could say his photography work is good, yet he'd say it's rubbish.

He seems quite shy at times too. He dresses well and he's a really good looking guy, but he'll always put himself down about how he looks. I'm not just saying that, but he is attractive. We'll go out and he'll get looks from the ladies. He's slim and on holiday last Summer, he would not go shirtless and into the sea. I think he gets anxiety or he's worried what people think of him.

He's lovely, thoughtful, he's nice, sexy, yet he keeps putting himself down like this. He's got around £7000 or £8000 in savings, but he won't spend any of his hard earned money on himself because "he doesn't deserve it". I'm not telling him to spend the lot, but he should buy himself something nice with it.

His Mum brought him up with his sister and as a single parent, they were quite poor so I'm not sure if that has something to do with it, but I don't know why he's like that with everything else? His Great Nan & Grandad both passed away a few years ago and he still gets upset and sometimes I think that's why he feels like this. It's been going on about a month now.

What do I do? and thanks for reading this!! x

Reply 1

Protégé

I think you need to get him to open up and talk about the source of his sense of worthlessness. If he doesn't open up then comforting him and making him feel like a good use of sperm couldn't hurt, right?

Reply 2

iHateLaw

I think you shouldn't put pressure on him, he'll gradually learn to accept and love who he is and what he does. Perhaps keep on doing what you're doing? - which I'm guessing is complimenting him when he looks good, complimenting his work, but just a simple 'that looks great on you' or an even simpler 'wow' with a smile.

have you spoken to him about this? If you haven't, perhaps it's best.

best of luck :smile: