Alone.

Hi guys, I just want to tell my story and ask for help? Thanks.

I'm currently in the 5th form (yr11) at my school, where i've been at since yr7. I started off with a circle of friends but after the first year I just felt ignored. I've invited people over and other things but I never get invited back.

Currently people don't talk to me at school and only talk to me if we are doing something like a pair exercise or if they want to borrow money. I feel excluded in the way that people don't see me as anyone, just someone who buy food for them from Sainsbury's. People who I consider my friends have parties and go out and I even have tried to self invite myself, and getting a polite "go away."

I really have considered these people as my friends for the last five years, but it seems they only won't to know me between the hours of 08:30-16:00 Monday to Friday (term time) and ignore me otherwise. In my year used to be a lot of **** about me, and pretty much no-one talks to me.

I don't know if it something about me? I know that friendships are two way things but I don't know what makes 120 people in my year to avoid me? Also I should mention it is a boys only school.

Thanks

Reply 1

Cremated_Spatula

What was the stuff people spread about you? (if you don't mind)

Do you joke around much or are you very serious most of the time?

Is there anything about your background which is very different to the norm?

Reply 2

rgsguildford5A

Original post by Cremated_Spatula

Hi thanks for replying.

It was lots of stuff which I found out from someone else. Mainly being that I'm weird and people shouldn't talk to me because it will look bad on them. I joke around with people but (not to contradict) I'm serious when I need to be serious. People occasionally laugh at my jokes...

Similar background to everyone else apart from that I'm Asian, but so other many other people in the school. thanks

Reply 3

tinkerbell_xxx

Don't let them talk **** about you then expect you to buy them food! Try to just focus on yourself and get the best grades possible for yourself. Go to a different sixth form if possible.
Do you do any other activities where you could meet some new people?

Reply 4

Cremated_Spatula

Original post by rgsguildford5A

Np, I went to a boys school in Sandbach, so I can sympathize.

Race shouldn't really matter.

I meant stuff like religion if I'm honest, it's quite hard for other people to understand.

Do you try to chat with anyone? Or do you try to take a more neutral approach?

I think you just have to be honest to yourself about these things.

Reply 5

Protégé

Don't degrade yourslelf by actively trying to make friends with people who treat you like crap. Do your own thing. I'd rather be alone throughout life than surrounded with some passive-aggressive idiots.

Reply 6

Judge Jasel

Friends aren't the be all and end all. If you only want to be friends with people in your school, then you've narrowed your range a lot. I know I don't speak for everyone, but you've got friends here, who are willing to listen.

Real life friends wise.... Why not go out to your local community and join a group like...scouts maybe? You're bound to find friends there. In anycase, a lot of friends just come and go, and that's the sad truth. Despite that, there will be people thinking on your same wavelength. You just haven't found them yet. :wink:

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Reply 7

BumbleFluff

These people wont make it one week as your friend beyond school. Don't bother wasting your time on these vultures. They're using you because you're too passive by the sounds of it. :P Just focus on yourself, you don't need friends to 'hang out' with. I wish I abandoned my "friends" in school and focused on getting the help and support I needed for better grades. Now I'm 22 and only doing my A-Levels...

Think of your future and who you want to become, and work towards it... you will need the head start. Good luck!

Reply 8

ParadiseFound

Just spend your time in school working your ass of to get into a good university where hopefully you wont meet as many cretins.

Reply 9

cityhunter

Hey buddy you have the same story as me and I'm also Asian hehe. I was in your position and two years later im much happier and have some friends that are really close. Just remember anyone can say anything but in a few years all that will be meaningless because you'll have your own life and theyll have theirs. You focus on what you love and what you are doing (your GCSEs) don't let anyone bring you down. Even if you are on your own like I was its worth it in the end when you work towards something you are passionate about. Once you find that passion people won't say many bad things anymore because you are showing you have your own priorities. But don't show anyone you are affected by what they say otherwise they will come back at you and stronger. I think my case was more extreme than yours but I hope i helped in anyway. Keep your heads up :smile:

Reply 10

rgsguildford5A

Thanks everyone for your responses. You've made me feel a lot happier.

Reply 11

Lewierhodes

I'd rather be by myself than trying to befriend horrible people, eventually they will grow up.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Forget about them ,its a new year.Happy new year!

Reply 13

jambojim97

You're in year 11. Right now, focus on getting the best GCSEs you can achieve, and then go to a different sixth form. I'd recommend a large sixth form college, which is separate from any high school, because sixth forms joint onto schools tend to be very cliquey and it is hard to make friends (personal experience).

Go to a large, inner-city college where there will be loads of new people for you to meet and make friends. These people you think are your 'friends' are what we call FAKE friends, who are only 'nice' to you when they need something. I would just keep my head down, and study study study for now. Then during sixth form you will make new friends, and have an entirely fresh start. You will be able to reinvent yourself, and you'll be in a much better place.

I wish you the best of luck, and feel free to private message me if you ever want to talk. :smile:

Reply 14

TCH4

I had a similar experience, although now that I look back I think a lot of it was just how you see it. A lot of people probably feel the same as you and equally don't know what to do. I'm now friends with people I never expected and have several people I'd consider best friends. We never got the chance to mix and socialise before Sixth Form and I so wish we had been able to. I found that late on in my GCSEs I started to get more confident and felt more comfortable and found a group of people I fit in with and one thing people say to me is that they thought I was really quiet and that they were clearly wrong. :P

Definitely just ignore anyone that uses you or that makes you feel worse than you should! There will be people out there, may take their time but when you find them it will be worth it!