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Regretting my uni choice due to anxiety...

I've always had a strong interest in English, writing and some aspects of the media, mostly penning gig reviews and such. When I had to choose a degree while at sixth form, I went for the obvious, Journalism. I gained work experience over the summer, which ended in uncontrollable tears as I felt highly uncomfortable using the phone (and very silly) and felt way out of my depth.

I left sixth form, had a fairly unproductive summer and moved to a university two hours away. I was so excited for a fresh start.

To cut a long story short, I struggled so much and ended up dropping out after around two weeks, putting my place on hold until 2014 for easiness. After returning home, I was diagnosed with social anxiety and mild depression, the struggles I had faced since secondary school started to make sense.

I was determined to return and just focused on trying to get better during my year out. I attended CBT sessions and worked weekends in order to save some money. I also wrote reviews for my local newspaper from the comfort of my bedroom.

I restarted the course last September and have successfully completed my first semester (just two exams to go in a couple of weeks). My family are proud of me and I'm proud of myself, I couldn't sit through a lecture the year before. It has been a real struggle and I've had countless breakdowns and now after a three week break at home over Christmas, I'm worrying I'm on the wrong course.

Like I said, I love the writing side of things. I'm not so keen on the constant pressure, dealing with strangers and always feeling out of my comfort zone.

I've been very lucky to be put in halls with people that like the same music as me and share other interests, we're all like one huge family and my anxiety is low when I'm with them - I haven't exclusively shared my problems with any of them, however, some of them may have guessed after I had a panic attack while walking through campus just before we broke up.

I keep myself to myself in lectures and lessons, I haven't shared my problems with anyone. I can't help feeling like I should have chosen as English based course. I've lost all motivation to make a career as a journalist, unless sitting in my bedroom and producing copy from there counts as a job!

As I already dropped out last year, I've used one year of student finance and I've left it too late this year to transfer courses.

I love the university lifestyle and living with some of the best friends I've ever had but I feel like as I was always set on going to university, I rushed my degree choice and now it seems rather pointless carrying on with it...

I have no idea what I'd do if I was to leave university. I'm now 19 by the way.

Advice please :frown:
I don't know which uni you are at - but there must be a student disability service, or something with a similar title. As you have mental health issues you should have access to help from them. As a parent, I would suggest them as a useful source of initial advice. They might also be a useful source of ongoing counselling.

Specifically, they should be able to advise on whether your mental health problems in 1st and 2nd year (for which you would need evidence - letters from the relevant health professionals) mean you are eligible for special consideration from student finance if you decided to start again and do an English course. I think their usual approach is to allow one year extra for people changing their mind, so you would need an extra year. Also ask about whether you could stay at your current uni and switch to English and what the implications would be.

Good luck.
I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and I think it is very important that you get professional help asap. You stated that you were keeping a lot of problems to yourself, and you must find a healthy outlet.

Please don't let your condition keep you from doing what you are passionate about. Is there an on-campus councilor at university you can talk to?

Stay strong and good luck!

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