VIRGIN

Soooo I'm an 18 year old female, turning 19 in a few months. I'm finishing school this year. Not only am I a virgin but I've never had a boyfriend either. I've never made out with anybody :s-smilie:

. Its so embarrassing to write this even though I'm on anon. I can't really get into a relationship at the moment as I'm really busy with schoolwork and applying for uni. Also I'm always on the lookout for a potential boyfriend or hookup but every guy always ends up ignoring or disliking me. I'm really anxious about going to uni like that as I'll be the only one there. There is almost like a huge sign with YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN burned into my brain and I can't stop thinking about it and this 'status' interferes with my work and has completely ruined my self esteem. Help me! Is it that bad to be an unkissed virgin at 18? Should I keep on looking for people that I can screw? Or should I just live a lie when I get to uni?????

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Reply 1

username1060297

You'll be surprised how many other people are just like you, including myself. I'll be 20 when I start uni yet I'm a guy who's not gotten intimate. Its far more common for guys to brag about this stuff than girls so you'll be fine, just don't mention it.

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(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 2

olitheoblong

There's nothing wrong with that at all. I'm a guy and 19 and in the same position

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Reply 3

unprinted

The silly thing to do would be to shag someone you're not really interested in just so you can say that you're not a virgin in nine month's time.

It would also be a bit silly to lie about it - you will not be the only one on your corridor (assuming you're in a hall of residence!) never mind on your course / year / whatever. Some of them will leave university as virgins.

Reply 4

Anayaaa

You shouldn't let a guy validate you. It sounds like you're doing pretty well for yourself because you're focused on your education and what really matters to you. Keep it that way. Love happens when you least expect it. Don't degrade yourself by thinking you have to have your first kiss or you have to lose your virginity because that's what everyone else is doing. Your first kiss and who you lose your virginity to is more special when it is with the guy you love. You'll feel proud of yourself because you were not 'one with the crowd'. You were doing your own thing and keep doing your own thing. And if anyone does make a snarky comment about you not having your first kiss yet or not yet losing your virginity either A-don't mention or B-tell them to eff off! It's your life and do whatever makes you GENUINELY happy. Someone else's validation won't equal to your happiness. Hope this helped :smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 5

carrotstar

Original post by Anonymous

Soooo I'm an 18 year old female, turning 19 in a few months. I'm finishing school this year. Not only am I a virgin but I've never had a boyfriend either. I've never made out with anybody :s-smilie:

You don't need to lie - there are plenty of others in exactly the same boat as you! Until I started university in September, I was exactly the same, but all it took for me was a new start and some independence to get my confidence up. I am now in a relationship which I hope will be long-term, with a guy who's age 20 in his second year and had never kissed or seen anyone before me.
During fresher's, every guy will want to dance with you. You will have the chance to be picky, and feel wanted - take advantage of this and don't be afraid to experiment a little! :smile:

Also, the problem with looking for someone now is that you'll most likely be long-distance when you get to uni, which could be a challenge.

Hope that reassures you! :smile:

Reply 6

Snikle

Eh, I'm 22, I graduated from university this summer and I'm still a virgin. Yeah, I'm probably an anomaly now but so what? I had a great time at university and kissed and danced and did all the things a student should. I know quite a few people who are the same age as me and still hold their V-cards, for various reasons (i.e. religious/haven't found the right opportunity etc)... actually most of them are guys (I'm a girl). But, ultimately, all by friends have the utmost respect for me getting through uni without feeling the need to throw it away, and my boyfriend? Well he loves the idea that he gets to be my first!

Some people are comfortable sleeping with a guy they meet whilst they're out clubbing, some aren't. I'm not and I didn't meet a guy I liked (who reciprocated those feelings enough to start a proper relationship) and go out with him until my third year so... when else would I have had the chance? Most people who are in the same boat of me have the same reasons. And f*** anyone who judges you (not literally!), 'cause since when did it become a bad thing to be a virgin?

Reply 7

gemmam

I know quite a few people who were still virgins in their late teens and early 20s (myself included). Its more common than you think.

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Reply 8

Alsklinq

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin, and in fact there are loads of people out there who are in a similar position as you. So don't feel discouraged or alone.

I'm sure you'll get your chance when you get into university or meet new people. :smile:

Reply 9

mikkysexy

Original post by Anonymous

, if you are so much interested in having a boy friend, then i could probably date you, +447459303929 , just send me an 'hi'

Reply 10

username1229433

That's a GOOD thing. You don't need a guy right now. Establish yourself first by getting your degree and a good job, then you can think about dating.

It doesn't matter if you're a virgin, don't follow the trend of wanting to be a non-virgin.

There's no pressure.

No point of giving all that up for somebody that isn't guaranteed to say for long.

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Reply 11

webwolfwizard

Personally I admire you! regardless of religion, I still find virginity as a gift you give the One. I would highly appreciate such a gift myself.

As others said, don't follow the crowd just because that's the trend. Only dead fish go with the flow.

Reply 12

alicekyra

At the end of the day, no one is better than you because they've done stuff, and equally you shouldn't be placed above people for not doing stuff. We are all just people, and it really is not that big a deal, at least not in my opinion.
You shouldn't have to speak about it to people if you don't want to, and certainly don't feel pressured into doing things just because "everyone else is" etc.
When you get to uni you will meet plenty of new people and have many new experiences - you might even meet a nice guy that you end up being with, you never know.
My advice would be to not worry about it, and focus on the things that really matter. This time next year, you could be in a relationship, and you'll be wondering why on earth you ever worried about something like this.
Best of luck to you, and honestly, don't worry about it!

Reply 13

helengeorge96

don't worry at all!! majority of people are in a similar situation! people brag about things they've done but it's mainly bull****! you will be fine :smile:

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Reply 14

Missmilly212

There will hundreds of males and females in the same boat as you! You shouldn't feel embarrassed about being a virgin think of it as 'unique' 'untouched' lol. Since you are busy and have a lot of school work, don't rush to be in a relationship because boys come and go so take this time to be focused and motivated in your school work because you will be going off to uni and you have exams to worry about for the time being. I hope you are not giving into peer pressure or following a trend to have sex because there are some idiotic guys that take advantage and there are some people that wished they did wait until they were ready or married to have sex. Some guys love virgins because they know that they will be the first and 'extra special' and some don't because they don't know what they are doing- personal preference is normal.
Just study and live life because its your personality that should attract boys. Talk your family members that you trust about your situation because I'm sure they will be able to give advice. :smile:

Reply 15

EmmzAyr

A lot of good advice here! There is no doubt that there is a lot of pressure on folks to "get it over & done with"

Most of my friends have done it, but, some haven't! I am not ashamed to admit it if asked, & am actually proud of it!

My BF tells his mates we are at it all the time, but that is just a guy thing! - we aren't ready yet, but, if & when we do, it won't be any of our friends business!

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Soooo I'm an 18 year old female, turning 19 in a few months. I'm finishing school this year. Not only am I a virgin but I've never had a boyfriend either. I've never made out with anybody :s-smilie:

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 (and about to be 19 in a few months!) Now I'm 20. I actually had my first boyfriend a few months after losing my virginity. Now I'm single and just waiting for the right guy.
So this is just my opinion. But my experiences and the different guys I've met and been with (there have only been 2) has made me decide that when I next meet someone, I am really gonna wait to have sex with them. i actually wish I were still a virgin, it makes things so much easier...I mean when you're not a virgin you're expected to be comfortable having sex and know how to do things and such. Which sucks because I still feel very inexperienced and not at all sexually confident. It just seems like when I meet the right guy, all those previous guys won't matter. they're just be baggage. And me being with them and them not turning out to be "the one" (for lack of a better term) is just me risking my body along the path to my future husband (with STIs and pregnancy and such).
Note: I am not saying women have to wait until marriage and should save themselves for men. I just have this opinion for myself and happen to be a woman.

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

Oops! Didn't mean to send.
In conclusion, any guy who judges or belittles or pressures you because you're a virgin isn't worth your time. If you meet someone and decide to lose it to them, he should be so happy that you're trusting him, and such. He should respect you if you want to wait longer, or even until marriage!

Reply 18

dimpleslass

Original post by Anonymous

Soooo I'm an 18 year old female, turning 19 in a few months. I'm finishing school this year. Not only am I a virgin but I've never had a boyfriend either. I've never made out with anybody :s-smilie:

I was a 25 year old virgin. It's nothing to worry about, I waited until I met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't know that at the time, but I knew he was the right person. Don't rush into it, I'm glad I didnt.

Reply 19

brychan27

Original post by Anonymous

Soooo I'm an 18 year old female, turning 19 in a few months. I'm finishing school this year. Not only am I a virgin but I've never had a boyfriend either. I've never made out with anybody :s-smilie: