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Slept with someone with a girlfriend. What should I do?

So this was months ago now but I still feel super bad about it but please hear me out.

We we started talking and we met on a night out and I didn't realise he had a girlfriend but his friend did keep talking about a German girl. I went back to his and he kissed me, he made the first move. I went home and nothing else happened. We spoke some more and I thought this guy genuinely liked me. Then I met him after a night out when I was drunk and he was sober. Yet again he made a love on me and more things happen. He mentioned a girlfriend but said it was an open relationship. I knew the next day that I shouldn't have went anywhere near him if there was another girl in the picture. He didn't speak much after the second time we met and it upset me. I did really like this guy. So a few weeks later I saw him again and went back to his. I didn't realy want to sleep with him when he tried to have sex with me and I said 'we can't have sex' to which he replied 'get a taxi home the' so I was stupid and we did and we both said it can't happen again. I always wanted to meet him so I feel pretty bad about it. I know it wasn't just his fault but he made a move on me when he could have told me to go home. I am not saying I'm innocent. But now I keep thinking about this other girl as he still messages me asking to meet but I say no. I asked if he was in a serious relationship and if he had cheated on someone with me but he said not to worry about it and that he can't label their relationship and that I haven't done anything wrong.

I don't like him anymore, but I feel guilty for this other girl. What should I do? He did tell me it was open and every time I was drunk and he wasn't.

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While you possibly should have investigated further, then you were not told about his girlfriend / were told they are in an open relationship - you are not the guilty party here. I wouldn't sleep with him again, but don't beat yourself up over it - just put it behind you and move on.
That's their problem not yours. It's not your relationship here.
Reply 3
What a jerk ?! He asked you to get a taxi home cause you won't sleep with him! I sure feel sorry for his current girlfriend :frown:
do nothing
Reply 5
If his girlfriend didn't agree to an open relationship, then he is the one who betrayed her, not you. You did nothing wrong in this situation.
Reply 6
Sorry but I just had to giggle when you said "He made a love on me".
It sounds like his girlfriend (as well as you) would be better off without him, it might even be that he has done this with other girls before. Stick to your guns and ignore him and just put it down to a life lesson :smile:
Reply 8
I just see people sticking up for you, and i don't like it. No, he wasn't in the right of course, he's a dickhead and will deserve whatever happens to him. However, I just don't like how everyone seems to really ignore your involvement in it. You knew there was someone else and did it anyway. The fact that he said 'get a taxi home' speaks to his character a lot. However, the fact that you had an out, you didn't have to have sex with him, but you did. So, if you feel bad, in all honesty, you deserve it.
Anyone want to consider he might actually be in an open relationship? If the girl's German as in she lives in Germany and so they have an ldr it's a bit more understandable that they'd have an open relationship, it would also help explain why despite hooking up a few times he's more interested in sex than anything more relationship like. That said it's pretty odd that every time you were drunk and he wasn't.
Original post by Helloworld_95
Anyone want to consider he might actually be in an open relationship? If the girl's German as in she lives in Germany and so they have an ldr it's a bit more understandable that they'd have an open relationship, it would also help explain why despite hooking up a few times he's more interested in sex than anything more relationship like. That said it's pretty odd that every time you were drunk and he wasn't.


Hmmm..she's in denial. Picking and altering parts to suit her (as the victim).
Reply 11
You should get some kind of evidence that he is cheating on his girlfriend and then show her the evidence, ps that guy is a (word that will get me banned) for saying if you didn't want to sleep with him then you should get a taxi home
To be honest you had enough evidence to not sleep with him, and it was only your weak will that meant you two slept together.

Tell the girlfriend that her boyfriend is a cheating dick, and apologize for having sex with a guy you knew you shouldn't.
Original post by DKeane
I just see people sticking up for you, and i don't like it. No, he wasn't in the right of course, he's a dickhead and will deserve whatever happens to him. However, I just don't like how everyone seems to really ignore your involvement in it. You knew there was someone else and did it anyway. The fact that he said 'get a taxi home' speaks to his character a lot. However, the fact that you had an out, you didn't have to have sex with him, but you did. So, if you feel bad, in all honesty, you deserve it.


Yeah, she's said she isn't innocent in it all either and is seeking advice.
Have sex with him again while you are deciding what to do.
Original post by Foxgloves3211
Yeah, she's said she isn't innocent in it all either and is seeking advice.


Yes I know that. I'm just saying she deserves to feel bad.
Just ignore him and move on. He sounds like a user.
You're both as bad as each other. Granted, he's more of a dickhead.
Original post by Anonymous
So this was months ago now but I still feel super bad about it but please hear me out.

We we started talking and we met on a night out and I didn't realise he had a girlfriend but his friend did keep talking about a German girl. I went back to his and he kissed me, he made the first move. I went home and nothing else happened. We spoke some more and I thought this guy genuinely liked me. Then I met him after a night out when I was drunk and he was sober. Yet again he made a love on me and more things happen. He mentioned a girlfriend but said it was an open relationship. I knew the next day that I shouldn't have went anywhere near him if there was another girl in the picture. He didn't speak much after the second time we met and it upset me. I did really like this guy. So a few weeks later I saw him again and went back to his. I didn't realy want to sleep with him when he tried to have sex with me and I said 'we can't have sex' to which he replied 'get a taxi home the' so I was stupid and we did and we both said it can't happen again. I always wanted to meet him so I feel pretty bad about it. I know it wasn't just his fault but he made a move on me when he could have told me to go home. I am not saying I'm innocent. But now I keep thinking about this other girl as he still messages me asking to meet but I say no. I asked if he was in a serious relationship and if he had cheated on someone with me but he said not to worry about it and that he can't label their relationship and that I haven't done anything wrong.

I don't like him anymore, but I feel guilty for this other girl. What should I do? He did tell me it was open and every time I was drunk and he wasn't.


I would ignore him, as someone pointed out further up you and the girlfriend would be better off without him, he sounds like a horrid person who doesn't care about other people's feelings. I been there before once I slept with a girl who was engaged but course she didn't tell me that till after.
You ate lying by telling that you dnt like this guy anymore. You dnt try to fool yourself. You just said that to feel good about yourself. You still like him tooo much, and you wish that you can have sex with him again. The only thing preventing you from doing it is that you hate the idea that you are cheating on someone else. And, you are trying to imagine your reaction if you find your bf slept with other women. And that women know that this guy has a gf.


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