''Children in wartime''- UNSEEN POEM- COULD SOMEONE GRADE/MARK THIS?

I have an edexcel exam on wednesday and would greatly appreciate if someone could give me some feedback on what i could do better. Please mark it out of 20 or give it general grade.
~thank you- it would be very useful

How does the poet present how the children are affected by the war?

''children in war time'' is a poem that has been composed by the poet Isobel Thrilling and it presents the children to be scared and disturbed by the horrors of war.

In the first line, the sound of the sirens reem to create a negative and alarming tone instantaneously due to the sirens being associated with danger. ''Sirens ripped open'' presents a violent and an aggressive verb and this emphasizes the violence of what the children have to experience. The first line of the poem also makes the poem start with in-media res as the verb ''ripped'' is also associated with speed which continues to emphasize the conditions of war surrounding the innocent children. Furthermore, the first line also has a personification ''sirens ripped'', evidently- its impossible for a siren to rip something open. Therefore, This emphasizes how loud the sirens are and how disturbing they seem to be.

The next line shows the reader how alarming the siren may be with the quote ''The warm silk of sleep'' which displays a comfortable and home like atmosphere that is destroyed by the noise of the siren. This could also demonstrate how war itself destroys homes ad the landscape that people live within and call ''home''. The destructive beginning seems to present the innocence of the children due to their ''warm silk of sleep'' being ripped open by something they have no control over; in this case the siren/war. This instantaneously makes the reader feel sympathy towards the helpless children because potentially the size of them compared to the size of war is small and it shows that they have no power and are enforced to abide by it. Furthermore, these two lines juxtapose with each other because of the placement of positivity and negativity (''sirens ripped open'' and ''warm silk of sleep'') and this could foreshadow the harshness of war and how much impact it has on the people.

In the second stanza, the writer uses a semantic field of a storm. The evidence to support this is ''storm'', ''rain'' and ''thunder''. These quotes all associate with storms which could illustrate the emphasis it has on the how egregious the war may be as ''war'' and ''storms are both percepted as negative things. In addition, i think the poet used these words to exemplify war because the words such as ''rain'' could lionk with the firing of bullets as war proceeds and the ''thunder'' could represent the bombs being dropped and the ''boom'' noise being created. Furthermore, I think these words may have been used in order to not frighten the children therefore the poet related it to war to impersonate a childs imagination of what is happening. The word ''storm'' also demonstrates a pathetic fallacy as war is being related to a storm. The poet may have done this to show the reader that since the war is uncontrollable, it shows the power that it may behold and the fact that it has this power creates further sympathy for the children due to their inability to do anything about it and that its not their fault.

Throughout the whole poem, the writer uses enjambment and an example of it could be in the second stanza. the line ''Huge craters'' which contains enjambment has an effect on the reader because it emphasizes the size of the craters due to no use of punctuation therefore making the sentence length much longer which could also convey how big and egregious the impact of war may have. The nejambment also foreshadows how long the war may be creating a negative tone upon the poem as war should have never started in the first place and overall, this shows the reader that the poem remains to have a negative tone throughout the whole poem. Furthermore, the poem presents various line lengths and the poet could habe done this to refer to the gunfire because of the irregularity of each line within the poem. The line lengths could also exepmplify the destroyed landscape that bombs have don e causing everything to be uneven. This creates an atmosphere of danger and exemplifies how powerful the war may be.

Lastly, the writer uses a personification near the end of the poem. The evidence to support this is ''My window spun with stars''. This quote uses the word ''stars'' to potentially impresonate the brightness of the bombs and the gunfire in the view of someones window which overall, shows the amount of negativity and destruction taking place. In addition, there is also a juxtaposition present as ''stars'' and the theme of war are both opposing things as one is positive and the other is negative. this has an effect because it creates tension and it emphasizes the impact that the children have to face which is very frightening. The writer also seems to present a theme of death in this quote as the ''stars'' (referring to gunfire) are very dangerous due to the amount of power they have and relating to the actual war, bullets and bombs are very dangerous and of course have the potential to kill. Moreover, the presence of the star in space also foreshadows the amount of time that the war is taking place which creates sympathy because there is an unknown date on when the war will end and maybe it could be a long time that they have to livwe with constant fear.

Overall, the writer seems to present her feelings as sympathetic for the children whilst they are going through a devastating and life changing event. Furthermore, the poem could potentially relate to a memory that Isobel had when she was a child and since the memory was so strong, it could have led her to write the poem with a purpose of that instead of being selfish about the war, people should think about the future generation capable of changing how the world revolves around us.

Reply 1

witchpls

OP

5

Plasee??

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Reply 2

witchpls

OP

5

Exam tomorrow - NEED A MARK FOR THIS ASAP

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Reply 3

124651

what did u get for it?

Reply 4

sabaaaa

1

what did u get for this?? :smile:

Reply 5

sibby786

1

i would give u 1 out of 20

Reply 6

Food...

6

Original post by witchpls

I have an edexcel exam on wednesday and would greatly appreciate if someone could give me some feedback on what i could do better. Please mark it out of 20 or give it general grade.
~thank you- it would be very useful

How does the poet present how the children are affected by the war?

''children in war time'' is a poem that has been composed by the poet Isobel Thrilling and it presents the children to be scared and disturbed by the horrors of war.

In the first line, the sound of the sirens reem to create a negative and alarming tone instantaneously due to the sirens being associated with danger. ''Sirens ripped open'' presents a violent and an aggressive verb and this emphasizes the violence of what the children have to experience. The first line of the poem also makes the poem start with in-media res as the verb ''ripped'' is also associated with speed which continues to emphasize the conditions of war surrounding the innocent children. Furthermore, the first line also has a personification ''sirens ripped'', evidently- its impossible for a siren to rip something open. Therefore, This emphasizes how loud the sirens are and how disturbing they seem to be.

The next line shows the reader how alarming the siren may be with the quote ''The warm silk of sleep'' which displays a comfortable and home like atmosphere that is destroyed by the noise of the siren. This could also demonstrate how war itself destroys homes ad the landscape that people live within and call ''home''. The destructive beginning seems to present the innocence of the children due to their ''warm silk of sleep'' being ripped open by something they have no control over; in this case the siren/war. This instantaneously makes the reader feel sympathy towards the helpless children because potentially the size of them compared to the size of war is small and it shows that they have no power and are enforced to abide by it. Furthermore, these two lines juxtapose with each other because of the placement of positivity and negativity (''sirens ripped open'' and ''warm silk of sleep'') and this could foreshadow the harshness of war and how much impact it has on the people.

In the second stanza, the writer uses a semantic field of a storm. The evidence to support this is ''storm'', ''rain'' and ''thunder''. These quotes all associate with storms which could illustrate the emphasis it has on the how egregious the war may be as ''war'' and ''storms are both percepted as negative things. In addition, i think the poet used these words to exemplify war because the words such as ''rain'' could lionk with the firing of bullets as war proceeds and the ''thunder'' could represent the bombs being dropped and the ''boom'' noise being created. Furthermore, I think these words may have been used in order to not frighten the children therefore the poet related it to war to impersonate a childs imagination of what is happening. The word ''storm'' also demonstrates a pathetic fallacy as war is being related to a storm. The poet may have done this to show the reader that since the war is uncontrollable, it shows the power that it may behold and the fact that it has this power creates further sympathy for the children due to their inability to do anything about it and that its not their fault.

Throughout the whole poem, the writer uses enjambment and an example of it could be in the second stanza. the line ''Huge craters'' which contains enjambment has an effect on the reader because it emphasizes the size of the craters due to no use of punctuation therefore making the sentence length much longer which could also convey how big and egregious the impact of war may have. The nejambment also foreshadows how long the war may be creating a negative tone upon the poem as war should have never started in the first place and overall, this shows the reader that the poem remains to have a negative tone throughout the whole poem. Furthermore, the poem presents various line lengths and the poet could habe done this to refer to the gunfire because of the irregularity of each line within the poem. The line lengths could also exepmplify the destroyed landscape that bombs have don e causing everything to be uneven. This creates an atmosphere of danger and exemplifies how powerful the war may be.

Lastly, the writer uses a personification near the end of the poem. The evidence to support this is ''My window spun with stars''. This quote uses the word ''stars'' to potentially impresonate the brightness of the bombs and the gunfire in the view of someones window which overall, shows the amount of negativity and destruction taking place. In addition, there is also a juxtaposition present as ''stars'' and the theme of war are both opposing things as one is positive and the other is negative. this has an effect because it creates tension and it emphasizes the impact that the children have to face which is very frightening. The writer also seems to present a theme of death in this quote as the ''stars'' (referring to gunfire) are very dangerous due to the amount of power they have and relating to the actual war, bullets and bombs are very dangerous and of course have the potential to kill. Moreover, the presence of the star in space also foreshadows the amount of time that the war is taking place which creates sympathy because there is an unknown date on when the war will end and maybe it could be a long time that they have to livwe with constant fear.

Overall, the writer seems to present her feelings as sympathetic for the children whilst they are going through a devastating and life changing event. Furthermore, the poem could potentially relate to a memory that Isobel had when she was a child and since the memory was so strong, it could have led her to write the poem with a purpose of that instead of being selfish about the war, people should think about the future generation capable of changing how the world revolves around us.

I would seriously mark this as 20/20. :smile:

You described in detail some amazing techniques the writer used and explained them further. This also helped me greatly with my work, i was struggling when I first saw the poem but this really gives you a variety of things to talk about. Really great!

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 7

dOnKeE

1

overall, very detailed, almost perfect, it is very easy to see that you put in effort in poem analysis. great job, would rate it a 19/20, some repeated points here and there, but in short, don't repeat ideas.